i need to get it out

[Eric_Draven]

It's all well 'n' good that you guys are advocating he get in better shape, but you can't neglect the heart and mind before you work on the body.

Self-confidence is the deciding factor. Without self-confidence and self-worth - love of one's self - all the bench-pressing, squats, and the like won't help.

C'mon, guys, I know most of you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone of us can sling a line of bullshit to some woman, but without self-confidence and charisma, ain't NO woman gonna take a second look at any one of us.

All the women I have ever dated have first been attracted to my intelligence, wit, and sense of self-worth then to my body, physique, and the rest. I know 90% of the women I call friends prefer SMART guys who are genuine and have a good heart over some shallow-minded bodybuilder-type.

thegovna...

Just stay true to the course, man. You'll do fine. Watch and see!

 

[harold]

i cant stop eating cheese!!!!!

 

[tietliplover]

i cant stop eating cheese!!!!!

good luck in the batroom :thumbsup:

 

[McRocket]

It's all well 'n' good that you guys are advocating he get in better shape, but you can't neglect the heart and mind before you work on the body.

Self-confidence is the deciding factor. Without self-confidence and self-worth - love of one's self - all the bench-pressing, squats, and the like won't help.

C'mon, guys, I know most of you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone of us can sling a line of bullshit to some woman, but without self-confidence and charisma, ain't NO woman gonna take a second look at any one of us.

All the women I have ever dated have first been attracted to my intelligence, wit, and sense of self-worth then to my body, physique, and the rest. I know 90% of the women I call friends prefer SMART guys who are genuine and have a good heart over some shallow-minded bodybuilder-type.

thegovna...

Just stay true to the course, man. You'll do fine. Watch and see!

Man, THe Govna is sure getting a TON of advice from us all.

BTW - I am not advocating body building as the answer - though it's something that has helped me with my self esteem from time to time. Not lately though.
No, I AM advocating losing weight. As I typed; to be overweight is bad for you. BAd for the body and bad for health and bad for the ego.
I simple healthy diet (not starving - but just eat decently) will eventually take care of any weight problem. Exercise is just a bonus As far as I am concerned.

Frankily, I think one should NEVER do anything to try and get women. Do what it is you wish to do - and if it hurts no one - then romance will follow.
But you have to not be embarrassed about your physique. Or you will usually feel uncomfortable around women - and not be yourself.

The bottom line - to me - is; eat right, try and get a little exercise if possible and try not to worry too much about it.
The fact that The Govna is clearly in touch with his feelings to me is wonderful. He is (apparently) intelligent and is definitely sensitive. He has a good brain and a good heart. Lose enough weight so that you are not embarrassed by your appearance any longer (though you don't have to be proud of it - most people aren't anyway).
Any decent woman cannot NEED more. Some may WANT more. But no one could NEED more.

I hope you find what you want.

And if you do - could you find out if she has an older sister?

 

[crusher65]

This has turned into a fitness thread?

Look - I used to be in the same place as you. I was 5'10" about 220lbs. I was terrible. I had no self esteem, and I had no friends, I had nothing to look foward to in my life except food and video games (not that video games are bad). then Junior High ended...

I enter High school. I still had no friends...but I doscovered something over the summer....Music. In my first year of HS, I picked up a bass guitar and started teaching myself, soon enough people saw me playing in school, and I was in a band...I had friends...I had people to hang out with. I lost weight. Why? not because I was working out, but because I was finally motivated to do something with my self. Once I realized the weight loss, I took advantage of it and I started working out. I now had the next thing I never ever had. A woman. I was in a relationship for three years with my first girlfriend. then theings got bad. High school ended, and I was on my way to college. I went for music composition. Now I am in college with a steady girlfriend for a year (actually in about a week it will be a year). I am highly respected in my school. I am in the orchestra, and I have my own concerts with my own music. I am going for a masters shortly, and I will be saving up to get a place, and get engaged. I am happy, and you know what I gained some weight back...i am 5'11" now, and I weigh 180. I am content with that. I look at it though we are all programmed to look a certain way. Things will get better. but yes...I agree with what someone said above...I think it was BNF...LIFE IS A STRUGGLE...but isnt that what makes it worth living?

 

[Ax3C]

Just be yourself and you'll find love.

This has turned into a fitness thread?

No... it hasn't. These are people trying to help this young man in their own way. Don't criticize... they're only giving him ideas.

I agree with what someone said above...I think it was BNF...LIFE IS A STRUGGLE...but isnt that what makes it worth living?

I think each person - in his or her own way - has pretty much said the same thing to thegovna.


thegovna

Take pride in yourself and the things that you enjoy. You must learn to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. If you are unhappy with yourself, make a change; take a step in the right direction so that you can find that "spark"within yourself.

I'm an Asian woman and I know what attracts me to men. And it ain't that hard-core bodybuilding mess some of these men are talking about. I like men who are sweet, sensitive (but not soft), intelligent, funny, and sure of themselves. Nothing turns me on like a man full of self-confidence and self-assurance.

I have a very good job and I can take care of my damned self. The man who wants to get with me needs to be spritually strong, sure of himself, self-motivated, and above all, he needs to be someone who can LISTEN to me. If you look at those charcteristics, the govna, and if you see any of those in yourself... then you can STRENGTHEN those. I don't know about any of the other girls on here, but looks aren't as important to me as intelligence and charm.

MATURITY is another issue. I don't want no boy. I ain't ya momma... so... best to keep on a-stepping, cause I ain't raising no boy. BE YOURSELF, thegovna. If you do that... well, you have one big advantage over some of these fools on this Board that I've seen so far. Be yourself, love yourself. Confidence comes from being able to love yourself for who you are... not what someone else WANTS or THINKS you should be.

Meeting women isn't hard. Just TALK to us - treat us like your equal, not some damned empty vacuum. Don't be shy, either. Be straight with me - or any other woman. Play it smart. Play it cool. Shy is okay sometimes... but I want a man who is sure of himself... and not cocky.

I hope this helps you. Good luck, sweetie! I'm sure you'll do just fine.


### And don't none of y'all try to flirt with me, either! I got a man already. ###

 

[jdb67]

Dude, Start with this one little step..... Get out of your abode and go for a brisk walk everyday for 20 mins.... PM me in two weeks. I will give you you step two. :thumbsup:

Things will not change overnight, but they will change if you start with this small step.....

 

[Marie]

I wish you all the best thegovna, you know we're here for you if you need it.

BTW, I know a lot of geeks that have girlfriends. But you need to be able to meet them, so go out, and walk around some more. Buy a dog or walk someone else's dog. Maybe you'll lose some weight and then you'll have something to be really proud of!

Find a hobby, force yourself to go around and meet new people. I say Force, because I know it's difficult.

 

[loverofboob]

Speaking of being chubby...I've noticed that when I see myself in a photograph my face looks kinda chubby,but when I look in the mirror I look completely normal.

So which do I look like to other people in person?

 

[McRocket]

Speaking of being chubby...I've noticed that when I see myself in a photograph my face looks kinda chubby,but when I look in the mirror I look completely normal.

So which do I look like to other people in person?

I don't know. I think people would have to see you to make that determination.

 

[AngelOfDeath]

Dude, Start with this one little step..... Get out of your abode and go for a brisk walk everyday for 20 mins.... PM me in two weeks. I will give you you step two. :thumbsup:

Things will not change overnight, but they will change if you start with this small step.....

That's what I reccomend after bicycling. If you have a bike, any bike, even a clunker will do, then get out there and f*ckin' ride!
''Live to ride, ride to live''- some BMX dude.

I've found that biking is MUCH EASIER than walking/jogging and I always burn plenty more tons of weight while biking than jogging.

I think the most important piece of advice on this board is to look for new opportunities and to stop thinking about why you are depressed. :thumbsup:


:sunny: