First off, long time reader, I almost never post but you could say I frequent the forum.
Anyway so you're probably thinking "Who the hell is this guy and why should I care if he got laid?" Well, you're probably right, but what the hell. This is the first time I've had sex in 8 years and I want to tell it to people. :thefinger
(Little background on that: I'm 30 years old. The last time I slept with a woman was my ex-fiancee who pretty much destroyed me. I hadn't even considered the thought of another woman up until last year, when I fell in love with a girl at work. She rejected me faster than you can say "ice princess". So that's basically the only experience with women I've had since high school. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life, and I'm actually OK with it. My life at this point resembles that movie "40 Year Old Virgin", I have lots of action figures and electronics. Kind of a manchild existence. Hey, it works for me.)
So that brings us to the present. Ha, this is already getting long.
Anyway, I went out yesterday afternoon and played golf with some buddies. After we got done and parted ways, I get in my truck and go to leave. I pull out of the driveway and there's this breathtakingly gorgeous brunette girl crossing the street. This girl was like something you'd see in a movie. Big heaving bosoms, long legs, everything, wearing a little low-cut summer dress. And she was BAREFOOT!!! (so hot) And of course I live in Mississippi and it was like 97 degrees yesterday so she's kind of doing this tiptoe prancing thing across the road so as to not burn the bottoms of her feet, and of course her boobs were bouncing all around. It was adorable.
I am just awe-stricken by this girl and I decide I have to say something to her. So I pull up and roll down the window and ask if she needs help with something. I mean, I know the southern stereotype but you just don't see hot women walking around barefoot so I figured something had to be up.
She explained that she works out at the gym across the street and somebody had stolen her duffle bad with her clothes and shoes, along with her cell phone and I guess some other stuff while she was showering. And she was walking across the street to use the phone in the pro shop so she could call home and get somebody to pick her up. So I let her use my cell phone, she called home but nobody answered.
So I figure this is my big move, and I offer to bring her home. It's across town, so we make some small talk and it starts getting a little flirty. I made some remark like "Damn, that's a great dress" and she's like "Yeah, I had to borrow it from one of the other girls at the gym".
I kind of snickered at that and she goes "What?" and I say "Did you borrow any underwear?" Which I already know she did not, because I took a quick peek down the front of her dress when she was looking out the window and you could see all the way to China. And let me tell you, China is a wonderful country. :bowdown: She laughed but wouldn't admit it one way or another.
We talk a little more, it's very playful and loosy-goosey and all that. I haven't talked with a woman like this, ever. It's like I wasn't myself, I was just really relaxed and smooth (if I do say so myself). I bring her home and since her roommate is not there I wait around for a little while, because she can't get in.
So in a couple minutes the roommate gets there (also hot, if you like your women a little thick) and I say something like it was nice to meet you. I'm going down the walk when she runs up and she's like "aren't you going to ask me for my number?" Now this is how much I've given up on women, I didn't even think to ask her for her number. I told her, "Well I figured you must have a boyfriend or something" and she says "maybe I do, maybe I don't........." just like that.
So she gives me her number and I leave. But I can't stop thinking about her prancing tip-toed across the street. So I give it a couple hours and call her. I know, I should've waited longer but I figured might as well just go for it.
I call and she seems happy to hear from me, so we make a date. Went to this little Mexican place I like, had enough sangria to get the job done. We ended up going back to her place, having some more drinks until her roommate came back in, then we went to my place.
From there on it's a little fuzzy. We started feeling each other up on the couch, that moved to the kitchen and then the bedroom. I knew I would be kind of rusty, haven't done this in a while, and it's not like I really have any moves in the first place.
But I must have done OK because she seemed pretty well into it. I'm not saying I was great but I probably lasted a good 7 or 8 minutes. I tried to think about golf and baseball and Battlestar Galactica while we were doing it but those big ol' titties bouncing in my face finally put me over the edge.
I really want to see her again but from the way she talked I suspect she's got a boyfriend. Probably a psycho douchebag too, knowing my luck.
I guess the ball's in her court at this point. She said she would call me, but I'm not naive, I know that means she probably won't. And I'm not sure if I should call her.
Oh well, at least I got some. And that's pretty much it. Good night and godspeed. :hatsoff: :glugglug: :nanner:
Anyway so you're probably thinking "Who the hell is this guy and why should I care if he got laid?" Well, you're probably right, but what the hell. This is the first time I've had sex in 8 years and I want to tell it to people. :thefinger
(Little background on that: I'm 30 years old. The last time I slept with a woman was my ex-fiancee who pretty much destroyed me. I hadn't even considered the thought of another woman up until last year, when I fell in love with a girl at work. She rejected me faster than you can say "ice princess". So that's basically the only experience with women I've had since high school. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life, and I'm actually OK with it. My life at this point resembles that movie "40 Year Old Virgin", I have lots of action figures and electronics. Kind of a manchild existence. Hey, it works for me.)
So that brings us to the present. Ha, this is already getting long.
Anyway, I went out yesterday afternoon and played golf with some buddies. After we got done and parted ways, I get in my truck and go to leave. I pull out of the driveway and there's this breathtakingly gorgeous brunette girl crossing the street. This girl was like something you'd see in a movie. Big heaving bosoms, long legs, everything, wearing a little low-cut summer dress. And she was BAREFOOT!!! (so hot) And of course I live in Mississippi and it was like 97 degrees yesterday so she's kind of doing this tiptoe prancing thing across the road so as to not burn the bottoms of her feet, and of course her boobs were bouncing all around. It was adorable.
I am just awe-stricken by this girl and I decide I have to say something to her. So I pull up and roll down the window and ask if she needs help with something. I mean, I know the southern stereotype but you just don't see hot women walking around barefoot so I figured something had to be up.
She explained that she works out at the gym across the street and somebody had stolen her duffle bad with her clothes and shoes, along with her cell phone and I guess some other stuff while she was showering. And she was walking across the street to use the phone in the pro shop so she could call home and get somebody to pick her up. So I let her use my cell phone, she called home but nobody answered.
So I figure this is my big move, and I offer to bring her home. It's across town, so we make some small talk and it starts getting a little flirty. I made some remark like "Damn, that's a great dress" and she's like "Yeah, I had to borrow it from one of the other girls at the gym".
I kind of snickered at that and she goes "What?" and I say "Did you borrow any underwear?" Which I already know she did not, because I took a quick peek down the front of her dress when she was looking out the window and you could see all the way to China. And let me tell you, China is a wonderful country. :bowdown: She laughed but wouldn't admit it one way or another.
We talk a little more, it's very playful and loosy-goosey and all that. I haven't talked with a woman like this, ever. It's like I wasn't myself, I was just really relaxed and smooth (if I do say so myself). I bring her home and since her roommate is not there I wait around for a little while, because she can't get in.
So in a couple minutes the roommate gets there (also hot, if you like your women a little thick) and I say something like it was nice to meet you. I'm going down the walk when she runs up and she's like "aren't you going to ask me for my number?" Now this is how much I've given up on women, I didn't even think to ask her for her number. I told her, "Well I figured you must have a boyfriend or something" and she says "maybe I do, maybe I don't........." just like that.
So she gives me her number and I leave. But I can't stop thinking about her prancing tip-toed across the street. So I give it a couple hours and call her. I know, I should've waited longer but I figured might as well just go for it.
I call and she seems happy to hear from me, so we make a date. Went to this little Mexican place I like, had enough sangria to get the job done. We ended up going back to her place, having some more drinks until her roommate came back in, then we went to my place.
From there on it's a little fuzzy. We started feeling each other up on the couch, that moved to the kitchen and then the bedroom. I knew I would be kind of rusty, haven't done this in a while, and it's not like I really have any moves in the first place.
But I must have done OK because she seemed pretty well into it. I'm not saying I was great but I probably lasted a good 7 or 8 minutes. I tried to think about golf and baseball and Battlestar Galactica while we were doing it but those big ol' titties bouncing in my face finally put me over the edge.
I really want to see her again but from the way she talked I suspect she's got a boyfriend. Probably a psycho douchebag too, knowing my luck.
I guess the ball's in her court at this point. She said she would call me, but I'm not naive, I know that means she probably won't. And I'm not sure if I should call her.
Oh well, at least I got some. And that's pretty much it. Good night and godspeed. :hatsoff: :glugglug: :nanner:
Arrange her roommate for me! 
