and i dont deserve better?
There's no such thing like deserving better.
You Might want to get something that you repute better for yourself, but deserving better does not apply when two or more parties are involved. A relationship is not a contest where you get points for certain actions and then you get awarded a prize when you reach a certain amount of points.
You guys were not together and although i'm more often than not pretty much on guys side, to the contrary of my gender colleagues, i can see why she broke up with you; you keep asking yourself why she still looks into your eyes and tells you "I love you" despite of having broken up and this shows how little you know about the true meaning of love. I prefer you to discover that real meaning by yourself, but i can assure you that you don't love someone because you are theirs and making a 100$ gift to someone you love is not synonym of still being together, but it is rather an act of true love towards someone that you have broken up with. You clearly got it all wrong and you are in denial of your ex girlfriend honesty and real love towards you, which makes me think that your real love towards her is a lie. You are just upset because things didn't go your way and she fucked someone else before you could do it too. One day
You Might see that you called whore a person who truly loves you and find out that you own her an apology showing her, in doing so, that her love for you is returned.