I Could Use Some Girl Advice!

[firefighter1]

Hey everyone! First, I would like to say thanks for any help you may have to offer. I'm not the greatest at these things, lol!

Anyway, to make a long story short, I always had a thing for this girl. We went to elementary school together, lived on the same street, and went to the same high school. It was sort of like being friends,but keeping your emotions in. When she went to high school she fell into one crowd and I fell into the other. From about grade 11 and on, we really didn't talk that much anymore, except simple greetings in the classes we were in. She had a boyfriend and hung out with the not so great clan and I moved to another town, so that didn't help matters! I've been out of high school for about two years now and she just got facebook. *Let me remind you I'm not a Facebook hermit, lol! I use it as a tool to talk with old friends who are far away.*

I messaged her this.....
"Hey J....! How's a going? Long time no talk. Are you still in school? If I remember right, you were into horse showing and stuff, how's that going? I've been doing well. This coming January, I'll be starting my training with Toronto Police, so I'm excited about that. I may look a little different then I did back in HS too, lol! I've lost 85 pounds since the end of grade 12!!! Anyway, talk to you later!"

Her response was...
" "HEY!!!! long time no talk
wow police training in TO ehh! good 4 u man!
well im not into the horseshowing any more but the parental units are still goin strong!!
right now im in school @ georgian taking general arts & science - its pretty cool - lots of great teacher and people!
listen dude il talk to u soon! keep in touch
we need to have a mandalane reunion!!!"

Mandalane was the old street I used to live on. I'm not sure where to go from here...

I was hoping maybe some of the female members may be able to give me more of female point view,lol! Is the whole reunion thing an underlining message that maybe she wants to get together sometime. Like I said, I'm bad at this sort of thing. Any help would be great!

 

[Christmas_Ape]

I've lost 85 pounds since the end of grade 12!!!

Knowing most of the fem users on this board, I'm sure they would point out that you should have told her you lost more then 85 pounds. I think they would most likely have suggested that you for a nice round number like say, 105?

 

[dave_rhino]

Hmm, I'm not a girl but I'll be honest... It doesn't sound like theres many "underlining" messges in what she had to say.

I really don't think theres enough information here to figure out how she really feels. Give it more time.

 

[Iamforever]

I really don't think theres enough information here to figure out how she really feels. Give it more time.

i think there is plenty of information to figure out how she feels. she feels like she hasnt talked to this guy in a long time. this is why i avoid reunions. "like oh my god! how are you doing? what are you up to?" ukey:

" "HEY!!!! long time no talk
wow police training in TO ehh! good 4 u man!
well im not into the horseshowing any more but the parental units are still goin strong!!
right now im in school @ georgian taking general arts & science - its pretty cool - lots of great teacher and people!
listen dude il talk to u soon! keep in touch
we need to have a mandalane reunion!!!"

but, dave is right. there isnt even a hint of a feeling of romance, infatuation, lust, etc.


there is however a hint of youth here. like, 4 sho.

 

[dave_rhino]

"like oh my god! how are you doing? what are you up to?"

"OMG HIYA! I haven't seen you in ages, have you lost weight?"

 

[Peter Gazinya]

Hmm...It almost sounds like a nice way of saying "hey, great to hear from ya, maybe we'll see each other sometime soon but I have no strong desire to make any effort at it, nice talking though."

Dave and Ape both have good points, her message certainly wasn't code for "God I hoped for years to hear from you and I want to ravage your 85 lb slimmer body".

You need to reply to her with some leading questions like "is there someone special in your life?", "have you laid awake at night wondering what it would have been like all those years ago?", "Now that you're in your 20s have you experienced the wonderful world of anal?" That type of stuff.

 

[biscuit]

Indeed, theres not any underlying messages which would be obvious. But step one has already been established, and indeed by her! She wants to meet up with you. Whether on your own or most likely with friends, it doesnt matter. If you go to a party with her you will at some point catch some time together on your own. The biggest factor would be to be enthusiastic and interested in all she has to say. No doubt you will be anyway. But on no account should you 'initiate the needy' attitude. The biggest mistake I did with a girl was ask her if she would be mine, after only a few nights of sleeping together. Bad idea. But she sounds very enthusiastic about meeting up. Keep us posted and the most important thing is to relax, go and see her with no expectations whatsoever, and enjoy the reunion. But get the reunion going, its easy to say ' yeah sure we should do that sometime' and completely brush it under the carpet. By taking the initiative to set this date up your already taking control of the situation. And I think girls like that. I wish you all the best PS Im not a girl either heh. PPS Ive also read that a lot of people have noted there is no lust or romance in the message. To be fair unless she was unbelievably out of control for sex she wouldnt have put these hints in. Its the first message after a long time, and even if she does possess these feelings toward you, I doubt very very much that she would have put them in. She sounds like a good honest girl. And hell, a meeting up is more then even Ive got from a first message to someone I havent seen. Even old best friends lol! YOUR IN THERE.

 

[Christmas_Ape]

The biggest mistake I did with a girl was ask her if she would be mine, after only a few nights of sleeping together.

No, that's not a big mistake. How are you going to know if she's yours, if you don't ask her? That just sounds like an excuse to me.

What firefighter1 needs to do, is let go of the past! You lost 85 pounds! Plus, you should've waited till you officially became a cop before you approached her. Being above the law will help if things don't turn out the way you wanted them to.

 

[firefighter1]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Much appreciated. I was just wondering what I should reply back to her? Something that says I'd like to get together, but not come on to strong or whatever you could suggest.

 

[McRocket]

I agree with most people above, she doesn't sound interested over and above a friendship. Sorry.

My advice? Screw wondering about what she means and be honest with her. Even if she says no it sounds like you won't have to bump into her again if you do not want to.

Though I freely acknowledge that at your age I would not have been able to be that honest either. I am 44 and as I get older the term 'what the fuck' enters my brain more and more it seems.

Hope it works out.

 

[titsrock]

Geezuz...a lot of the advice you've received is flat out LAME

Firstly--why did you choose "Firefighter" for a screename when you're becoming a police officer? Just wondering at the strange inconsistency.

Secondly, what exactly do you want? It sounds to me like you still have a crush on this girl and now that you have some "good things going on in your life"--i.e. cool career, significant weight drop--you'd like to see if there's a spark. Project CONFIDENCE AT ALL TIMES. DROP THE LOL, OMG SHIT IMMEDIATELY!! You're not a goddamn teeny bopper anymore. Mature-up your talk.

Where I'm going at is I see absolutely no reason why you shouldn't say somethinig open-ended like "Hey, if you want to meet at Tim Horton's (Starbucks?) sometime, as a cop-in-training, I've already scoped out my "homebase"-my favorite one is this one 1234 Main St. Maybe I'll see you there sometime." There. Completely open-ended. She can then respond with a "Cool! What time?" Or not, maybe she has a boyfriend. But you've put the ball in her court and there's hardly anything "on the line."

Quick question--is "Mandalan Reunion" code for "Can I sneak up to your old bedroom for a shag, just like oldtimes?"

Basically...I see no reason why you shouldn't float out a trial balloon to see if she's interested in even catching up with you. Most likely she is because she answered you and made a joke.

Go for it. WHat's the worst thing that can happen "Thanks, but I'm seeing this guy.." or "No, thanks." I mean, you're both young. I wouldn't sit on my ass and wonder "what if."

MAKE A MOVE!

 

[firefighter1]

Geezuz...a lot of the advice you've received is flat out LAME

Firstly--why did you choose "Firefighter" for a screename when you're becoming a police officer? Just wondering at the strange inconsistency.

Secondly, what exactly do you want? It sounds to me like you still have a crush on this girl and now that you have some "good things going on in your life"--i.e. cool career, significant weight drop--you'd like to see if there's a spark. Project CONFIDENCE AT ALL TIMES. DROP THE LOL, OMG SHIT IMMEDIATELY!! You're not a goddamn teeny bopper anymore. Mature-up your talk.

Where I'm going at is I see absolutely no reason why you shouldn't say somethinig open-ended like "Hey, if you want to meet at Tim Horton's (Starbucks?) sometime, as a cop-in-training, I've already scoped out my "homebase"-my favorite one is this one 1234 Main St. Maybe I'll see you there sometime." There. Completely open-ended. She can then respond with a "Cool! What time?" Or not, maybe she has a boyfriend. But you've put the ball in her court and there's hardly anything "on the line."

Quick question--is "Mandalan Reunion" code for "Can I sneak up to your old bedroom for a shag, just like oldtimes?"

Basically...I see no reason why you shouldn't float out a trial balloon to see if she's interested in even catching up with you. Most likely she is because she answered you and made a joke.

Go for it. WHat's the worst thing that can happen "Thanks, but I'm seeing this guy.." or "No, thanks." I mean, you're both young. I wouldn't sit on my ass and wonder "what if."

MAKE A MOVE!

Wow, thank you so much! That was some great advice! Your right about getting off my ass! I just don't want to come on too strong. She is single by the way. I'm not sure what I should say in my reply back to her so I would appreciate some tips. I don't want to screw this up! Thanks!

 

[AFA]

I'd get a picture of myself sitting on my friends boat or even a park bench and email it to her, (if you can do that, you said messaging), so you are showing the weight loss that you enjoy in your new found esteem and see if that continues to get a response. I've had several intense relationships that popped up out of nowhere years later, and can't say they worked out the way I originally hoped, but they seemed to matter less. I think I'm at a point more of accepting circumstances in these things. I also have had women friends that showed a fairly flat level of romantic interest in me, but keep me on their email list, and call occasionally and I don't expect that to go anywhere either. This may not be what's meant to be.

 

[Peter Gazinya]

I just don't want to come on too strong.

Sure you do. You don't want to tiptoe around ANYTHING for the rest of your life, it's a waste of time. Man up. As they say in sales "qualify and move on". It means bluntly find out the intentions of your query, if they intend to do business with you then great, if not then move on." same with chicks.

 

[firefighter1]

Here is what I'm going to messege her. Tell me bad or good and any pointers would be great!

"Hey J…..,
Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, policing will definitely be interesting. My dad is a cop too, so I hear lot’s of cool stories!!
Oh, you’re at Georgian eh? That’s good. Are you in res? I’m sure driving everyday would be a pain in the ass! I’m sure it’s nice having great teachers and people in classes. Believe me, I could go on about some teachers when I was at Seneca, ha, ha! The people in my classes were great, but some of those teachers were something else!!! Do you know what you would like to do when you graduate?
Yeah, a reunion sounds like a great idea! I still keep in touch with Dave and Max, but I haven’t heard from Al in a long time! I actually kind of miss it living up there. It was nice. Although, living in Newmarket, has some great pro’s! Let me know when your free and we can set something up. It doesn’t have to be anything big or fancy, as long as there is beer!! Just kidding...well not really!! It would just be nice to see everyone again!"

Thanks guys!!!

 

[Christmas_Ape]

Here is what I'm going to messege her. Tell me bad or good...

:thumbsdown:

 

[rian_evilclown]

just tell her your coming back to town for a few days and ask her if she fancys going out for a drink then take it from there. SIMPLE.

 

[Some_Girl]

Here is what I'm going to messege her. Tell me bad or good and any pointers would be great!

"Hey J…..,
Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, policing will definitely be interesting. My dad is a cop too, so I hear lot’s of cool stories!!
Oh, you’re at Georgian eh? That’s good. Are you in res? I’m sure driving everyday would be a pain in the ass! I’m sure it’s nice having great teachers and people in classes. Believe me, I could go on about some teachers when I was at Seneca, ha, ha! The people in my classes were great, but some of those teachers were something else!!! Do you know what you would like to do when you graduate?
Yeah, a reunion sounds like a great idea! I still keep in touch with Dave and Max, but I haven’t heard from Al in a long time! I actually kind of miss it living up there. It was nice. Although, living in Newmarket, has some great pro’s! Let me know when your free and we can set something up. It doesn’t have to be anything big or fancy, as long as there is beer!! Just kidding...well not really!! It would just be nice to see everyone again!"

Thanks guys!!!

that seems ok to me, then she can hook up with you if she wants and not if she doesnt right? You Might not even like her now anyway haha people change a lot after school, let us know if she gets back to you on it but dont stress if she doesnt, sometimes its best left in the past

 

[titsrock]

Firefighter...DO NOT SEND THAT MESS of a MESSAGE. I could not make any sense of it and you come off sounding like this...
:clown:

Seriously, if there was a crash-n-burn emoticon or a DESPERATE emoticon..I would use it.

The basic problem with your message is that you just spilled your frakking guts. She knows everything about you and now doesn't need to meet up with you. What are you going to talk about? You just barfed it all in a WAY-TOO-EXCITED response.

Play it impdaddy , man.

Slow down. Write something NO LONGER THAN 3 SENTENCES!!! You wrote a fucking novel and you need a brief advertisment that will leave her feeling EXCITED TO BUY YOUR PRODUCT!

I'm still of the coffeehouse is better than a bar thing...myself. It shows that you want to relax and listen and talk. Booze implies "shag me" too soon, I think.

But if you want to play it as "let's meet up for a drink sometime" atleast do it at a time when you could offer to buy an hors d'oevres which could than maybe lead to burgers and beers..sort of spur-of-the-moment...and before you know, you both just let time slip away and had fun.

 

[Some_Girl]

aww haha everyones putting so much thought into this, personally i think if she's curious about him she'll arrange to meet him regardless of how many sentences he writes in his message