How to masturbate with a banana

[bts22222]

Go to the grocery store, pick out a banana that is wide, long, and straight (unless you are unfortunate enough to have a small, thin, and crooked dick). Go home, cut a straight line through the banana when it opens up to the thick part of itself. Mush up the banana and hollow it out. Next, you may have to cut a slit along the side of the banana if the banana is still too small. Put the banana in the microwave for 12 seconds. Go to freeones.com, find a good vid and enjoy!

 

[lurkingdirk]

This message brought to you by the fruit growers association of California.

 

[PornKhaos]

I dont think ill be trying that anytime soon. Whats wrong with the old righty? (or lefty)

 

[bts22222]

i know it sounds crazy and all, but it feels incredible. Really, it feels just like a vagina with grooves and contours and all. Not that I have trouble getting laid (I have a girlfriend), but if you're gonna beat off, might as well make it feel good.

 

[~~whimsy~~]

Wasn't there a thread about a cucumber not to long ago??

 

[lurkingdirk]

Wasn't there a thread about a cucumber not to long ago??

Don't I have pictures of you with a cucumber from not so long ago?

Honest, I didn't show anyone!

 

[bts22222]

a cucumber seems like more work, being so stiff and all.

 

[TheAmazingRed]

I'll stick with the right hand.

 

[jod0565]

Wow.
I think I'll stick with a jar of crunchy peanut butter - it's like a reverse french tickler.

 

[shaggydude]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_S3bjhfYpMg8/SXeMQDtPYjI/AAAAAAAAAtM/Q16LJE5656Y/s400/scared+banana.jpg

 

[~~whimsy~~]

Don't I have pictures of you with a cucumber from not so long ago?

Honest, I didn't show anyone!

Nice try. We both know it isn't cucumbers I use

 

[Peashooter]

Yeah, no thanks.

 

[Doc Scurlock]

:banana:

 

[ChefChiTown]

Go to the grocery store, pick out a banana that is wide, long, and straight (unless you are unfortunate enough to have a small, thin, and crooked dick). Go home, cut a straight line through the banana when it opens up to the thick part of itself. Mush up the banana and hollow it out. Next, you may have to cut a slit along the side of the banana if the banana is still too small. Put the banana in the microwave for 12 seconds. Go to freeones.com, find a good vid and enjoy!

Hmm, and I've been shoving them in my ass for all these years. SILLY ME!!!

 

[shaggydude]

Q : What's the most sensitive part of your body while you're having a wank?

A : Your ears.......listening for footsteps!

 

[whoremaker]

Or here's an idea. Forget putting your dick into a piece of fruit like you're some lame, hard-up teenager and stick it down a woman's throat, or up her party hole. Jacking off with food is retarded.

 

[biomech]

i know it sounds crazy and all, but it feels incredible. Really, it feels just like a vagina with grooves and contours and all. Not that I have trouble getting laid (I have a girlfriend), but if you're gonna beat off, might as well make it feel good.

No trouble getting laid, but you fuck bananas.:rofl:
Awesome.

 

[meesterperfect]

sex with a banana, huh, hadnt thought of that.
and there i was sneaking in barns a coups every night this whole time.

 

[andrea_]

Hmm, and I've been shoving them in my ass for all these years. SILLY ME!!!

:rofl:
:rofl2:

 

[hedonis]

Here's how I masturbate with a banana:

I hold it in my left hand, and eat it while jacking off with the right hand.