How Many Sex Partners Have You Had

[SeraphiM]

This is typical for people your age, Seraphim, who've dated and whatnot in their youth and played around a bit in their youthful follies, but who were NOT specifically looking for the next person to fuck just for (literally) the fuck of it... That's where/why I find this notion of keeping score, counting, and telling people about it like it's a sports score to be appalling.

I don't give a damn about how many ANY of the members here have slept with, but if friends tell me in confidence, fine. Otherwise, it's none of my business and it's their personal health (mental & physical) concern.

The only point in telling anyone here, publicly, about the number of sex partners we've had is to somehow make some sort of impression, and I find it pointless. I'm glad that people are opening up their lunchboxes, though - you can see part of their true characters that way.

People in their early 20s who've slept with dozens of other people perhaps need to review their priorities, IMO. That's pretty much a summary of my opinion here. If you're 24 and have slept with (i.e. had sexual relations) approximately 30-50 people, and assuming that your sexual activity started at around 16-18 years of age, that's just way too many, and is indicative of a problem; e.g self-validation through sex, triggered sexual response from a bad childhood or abuse, lack of true love/intimacy in your life, etc. That's just my opinion. Feel free to go fuck as many babes (or guys, or both) as you want, but be careful. That's just not my style.

But hey, to each their own... I just happen to be one of these people who thinks that sex isn't, or shouldn't be, a communal recreation like baseball, but rather an intimate thing between two people.

Oh well. :hatsoff: :2 cents:

I can see your point NF.
I was at a point in my life where I wasn't looking, better yet, ready for a serious meaningful relationship. I've never kept score and hell there are a few times I've really regretted it, but I've come to look at it as a learning experience. Learning that the best sex I've ever had was with a woman who I was deeply in love with. The emotional attachment was far better than the physical attraction we both had for each other. None of my previous casual sexual encounters could ever compare to it.
NF, I think that putting a number on how many is too many is incorrect. By that I mean that no two people are the same and what is OK for one isn't for another.

 

[member2686]

To each their own.

I'm glad you found sexual pleasure and intimacy in monogamy & marriage, Seraphim. :thumbsup:

"Swinging" disgusts me, and I see it as indicative of a lack of both emotional and sexual intimacy in a couple/marriage. It's self-indulgent, dangerous, and reckless behavior, IMO, and people who search for the next sexual partner even when they're in a relationship, to me, show a serious lack of character depth, IMO. They should stay single and play around and not try to commit to another person because they cannot truly commit when their interests are in having as many sexual partners as they can have. That's not intimacy.

If it (swinging) works for a little while for some people (which it can), swinging I suppose can be a fun lifestyle - dangerous but fun. In the end, though, it NEVER works when a true commitment is demanded by one of the people in the couple. If that's not demanded by one of the 2, there's no couple - they're just fuck buddies who're good friends.

:2 cents:

:hatsoff:

 

[theadmanmufc]

None for me so far, but I'm still young(18) so I'm not worried or desperate yet. My time will come sooner or later...I'd rather it be with a serious girlfriend than with some random that I'd be fucking just for the sake of having my first fuck...

 

[LordVader66]

36, I partied al great deal in my late teens and early to mid twenties. After that I met my wife and calmed down a lot. I slept with one other person before I married her, but told her about it before we got married. Festivals can be crazy events where anything can happen. That was when I was 25 and still on the self destructive path.

 

[hot_encounters]

I've had sex with dozens of people, i guess around 60. I had only had a few partners until my wife and I got into the swinging scene in the late 90s, then the numbers rocketed I guess.

we're still very choosy, though, but frequently we can find ourselves fucking sucking caressing several people in a night.

 

[Jagger69]

I will not admit the true number of sexual encounters I have had until I break Wilt Chamberlain's alleged record of 10,000....I still have a way to go so don't expect an update anytime yet this year.

 

[Member2019]

See, 49 in 5 years, and no-one's calling you an imbecile :-( personal vendettas, I tell you.

Well, one person is avoiding criticizing me directly on purpose, and I have to appreciate that. That's all I can say.

Well, I'm delighted you found the woman of your dreams.

Really the woman beyond my dreams. She was and still is my best friend first and foremost. Sex was gradual with us. I really didn't find out how good she was in bed until after we married.

I hope you'll agree, sex with curvy women generally beats sex with stick thin "trophy" women any day of the week.

I turned down so many thin "trophy" women when I was 14-15, never went past 2nd base. I prided myself on "control" and "saving myself," often getting dumped in the process so many times.

But that all changed once I had my first full figured girlfriend. Then I couldn't get enough! I was smart (although I provided oral too much being ignorant of the possible risks until 20, just before I met my wife), and it was very enjoyable.

But had I not gone full-figured, I might have gone down a far different path. Far less women, far less desire, far less fulfillment.

It just feels better... yummy.

Totally. I need at least a size 10, size 14 is ideal, although a rare hourglass, big beautiful woman (BBW) can be 20+.

I think over time curvy girls will become the "trophies" although I wish there wasn't such a thing as trophy women. I wish all women were appreciated for being beautiful, as they are.

Totally with you there! Until then, there was (and still would be if I wasn't married) just more for me and you to enjoy!

 

[member2686]

I have my opinions and you have yours, Fox.

"Couples" aren't "trios," "quadruples," or "quintuples," IMO. You like swinging around and sexual novelties (i.e. many partners). I don't. It's that simple.

I prefer to share my intimacy and emotions in sex with the one I love and only with her, not to find a new pussy in which to stick my cock, whenever I can, for sheer sexual amusement and "exploration." I know the pleasures of great sex, and I don't need to have 6 different lovers a year to enjoy sex. I'm perfectly content to share my body only with the woman with whom I'm in love. You're apparently NOT, and neither is your girlfriend. That's where we differ.

To me, and to most, sex is an intimate thing, something precious to be shared between two people and two people only. It's not like finding a partner at a bar with whom you play pool just for a good time. That detracts from the intimacy shared between the two people, be they married or single and "commited," IMO. You happen to believe otherwise. I don't care what you do, but I hope you're as careful as you say you are. I think you're a smart and talented person, but I simply disagree with you on the "swinging" issue. IMO, what you do is still dangerous as Hell, but hey - it's your life.

If it works for you and your Julie, go for it.

1+1 = 2.

2 people make a "couple." That's all I'm saying. That's my opinion.

:hatsoff: :2 cents:

 

[Da Diggler]

well when i told my girl i had about thirty-something, she wanted to leave me should i have lied?

 

[member2686]

I simply don't believe that a loving couple can WANT to share sexual "intimacy" with other people/partners without it damaging or impinging upon their own intimacy, Fox.

Bottom line. I've pretty well said all I have to say about this.

I've known couples with this "free love" mentality and it's always a "crash and burn" result. It doesn't work, in the end. People in love are possessive and jealous. They say, perhaps, that they're "fine" with things in this "swinging" thing, but in the end, they're inherently jealous, and relationships crumble in these situations, as far as my own experience goes.

I have 11 years of age on you; I'm no grandpa, but I've gone through a few more things than you have, perhaps - but perhaps that's presumptuous of me to say, and I don't mean to be condescending. You're a smart man. You'll do what you find best for yourself. I'm just offering my advice and opinions.

Enjoy what you do, Fox, but please be careful. Loss of love or health via sexual exploration REALLY isn't worth it.

Cheers. :hatsoff:

 

[Da Diggler]

Did she leave you? Or did she just want to? If she loves you, and believes you'll be comitted to her, I think she'll get over it and you'll be fine. It's just a bit of a shock for some people to hear a number higher than 10 or 15.

It led to her being more insecure and also thinking im cheating. and we broke up yesterday

 

[Undertaker]

It led to her being more insecure and also thinking im cheating. and we broke up yesterday

next time... lie or atleast tell her when she's drunk

 

[Jacksson_77]

I will not admit the true number of sexual encounters I have had until I break Wilt Chamberlain's alleged record of 10,000....I still have a way to go so don't expect an update anytime yet this year.

Say what? I thought hotrod11inches was the record holder. 10,000 is an average month for him.

:hatsoff: Jackson

 

[Member2019]

Simple v. Complex ...

Quality sex with a quantity of partners is what I go for. Best of both worlds If you're careful, it's not that irresponsible. If the people you're sleeping with are as into it as you are, it's not that selfish either. It's about mutual pleasure.

Responsibility is the key word. I have argued this time and time again.

The simple life is one partner. The complex life is multiple partners. I reserve any judgement of responsible people, because you can have a more complex life and still be responsible. Apparently other people have no such reservations, maybe because they can't believe anyone can be that responsible -- or at least they wouldn't be.

I really don't know if it's envy, pride or disbelief at the heart of the matter, but that actually matters little. These are the same people who would criticize Jesus Christ (based on what is written of him -- regardless of whether you believe he actually existed or not as the Son of God in human form -- which is not the point) if he lived in our time. They would bash him, discredit him and otherwise hold the same judgement for hanging out with theives, whores and the other, most discredited people of society.

I guess these people, for whatever easons, want a single set of values for everyone, and can't just worry about themselves and no one else. I only hold judgement over people who are irresponsible and it affects other people very negatively. I don't sit there and try to excuse what I do by saying what others do is worse, which is also a common thing I see from judgemental people.

How you can say it shows a lack of a capacity for intimacy is bewildering.

Because some people can't believe you have an open relationship when it comes to sharing each others desires. I have pity on people who desire such, but don't move on their wishes if they want and are single, or if both partners want and are married or otherwise dedicated to each other longer-term.

It starts with guilt after masterbation. People don't stop to question why they have guilt. They don't focus on harm, they focus on the social stigmas. They completely miss the concepts you and I get. And that's why you and I are very, very happy.

The love of my life and I are celebrating our 7th anniversary. We love each other more than anything in the world. It's been seven great years. We have similar sexual appetites. There are millions like us. A lot of them call themselves swingers. Most of them are very careful. Are they all apalling too?

My wife and I will never swing. I desire no other woman in my life. My wife says the same, but I'm more than prepared if she would come to me one day and tell me she needs a 2nd lover in with us to satisfy her. I'd never want the same.

My "values" were solidified in my earlier teenage years. I have virtually never waivered from them. My wife knows my values, and she accepted me for them -- as I did her.

And as for people having dozens of partners: most people on here seem to be very careful, having slept with 5 or less people, which is great. Personally, I can't go a week without wanting a new sex partner, and I can never get enough. It's not about sexual prowess or a curriculum vitae, it's about as many different women, experiences, tastes, nationalities and as much fun as possible. You only live once: I love it way too much to do it in moderation. Besides, I get tested all the time. Sorry you find people like me apalling. You seem to find a lot of things apalling and love to tell people how apalling they are. Nice.

A long-term relationship is based on two partners accepting each others values, not some manifest that other people have come up with. Ironically enough, it's those people who default to the manifest that are always looking for ways to "excuse themselves" from it. Partners who are open, honest and don't cross the values of the other are the ones who have far better and longer relationships.

 

[halo68]

Interesting thread. I'm not proud, but i have been with 169 different women including my ex-wife and a several others since her. My sex life has been kinda slow what with 2 kids to raise and all. In my youth i was quite the charmer but priorities change with life. Lessee, my first one was at 15 and i'm nearly 38 now, so thats 15 divided by.......ummm, math is not my strong suit and i dont know the average. All those women and not one disease or unwanted child, i was a very smart kid who always, ALWAYS insisted on using protection. No lie, it gets you nowhere.

 

[Member2019]

Take it Tux, Daemon's got a pipe for you!

Interesting thread. I'm not proud, but i have been with 169 different women including my ex-wife and a several others since her.

I kinda got that from your avatar, you've fucked [up] at least 169 [OSes]

My sex life has been kinda slow what with 2 kids to raise and all.

So you're BSD and your legitimate kids are FreeBSD and NetBSD?

Sorry, couldn't resist!
I love that avatar of yours!
(even though I'm a Linux user, I've done enough BSD in my time)

Take it Tux, Daemon's got a pipe for you!

 

[p4ela]

So it is not enough what even to not recollect as much

 

[Da Diggler]

But a pimp's life goes on....

 

[O85]

had lots of one night stands but people that i regularly visited...mm..about 10

 

[Legzman]

4 for me! Good enough for me. Quality over quanity, currently with my 4th, probably my last as well!