My 6 yr old son was hit by a car and killed over 3 years ago. Last night I was overcome with so much grief, I curled up into a ball and sobbed. How can it be that after all this time, the emotions are still so raw? Anyone been where I'm at? Should I see a shrink?:helpme:
How do I cope?
- Thread starter lickknob25
- Start date
It couldn't hurt to see a therapist. maybe it would help. If you feel like you want to talk about it with someone, then that could be beneficial to you in some ways.
In my personal experience and dealing with other people, I don't think you ever really "get over" feelings of loss, you just come to accept them as part of your life. And sometimes it's bad and other times it's not so bad. Maybe that's not what you want to hear, but that's all I can say.
It seems to be human nature to focus on the negative, but I think that if you can find some good things and try to keep those in mind that it helps.
In my personal experience and dealing with other people, I don't think you ever really "get over" feelings of loss, you just come to accept them as part of your life. And sometimes it's bad and other times it's not so bad. Maybe that's not what you want to hear, but that's all I can say.
It seems to be human nature to focus on the negative, but I think that if you can find some good things and try to keep those in mind that it helps.
I doubt anyone here can truly appreciate the loss you have experienced. While it is good to reach out...to seek comfort and understanding...I think there are places that will serve you better.
Many communities have 'grief sharing' groups. These are groups of people who have all experienced serious loss of some sort...and gather to support and comfort one another. The groups are typically led by an experienced person...a pastor, social worker or other person with a counseling background. This person helps those involved work through the various stages of grief together. You may find a group like this very helpful...maybe more so than a one to one counseling situation.
You may want to check out this website as a starting point.
http://www.griefshare.org/
Many communities have 'grief sharing' groups. These are groups of people who have all experienced serious loss of some sort...and gather to support and comfort one another. The groups are typically led by an experienced person...a pastor, social worker or other person with a counseling background. This person helps those involved work through the various stages of grief together. You may find a group like this very helpful...maybe more so than a one to one counseling situation.
You may want to check out this website as a starting point.
http://www.griefshare.org/
thanks. and hey, don't underestimate some of the wisdom and insight we get on here.
Lacey Black
Official Checked Star Member
First off I am so sorry for your loss I think everyone can agree that must be one of the hardest things to have to live with.. I know a lot of people will have different opinions on this(just like everything else) but my advice would be to let go of the past as hard as taht is to do its something you have to do if you are ever going to be able to be happy again.. Horrible things happen everyday to people that dont deserve it but that shouldnt stop you from enjoying the things in life you do have.. I am sure you are married? or have other kids? You should be enjoying them as much as you possibly can because I am sure not only was that situation hard for you but them as well.. So really enjoy the things you do have.. A lot of people might tell you to try and forget about what happen but I think you should try to remember your child.. not at the time of loss but before then.. Think about all the great times you had and hold onto those moments not the bad ones.. I hope some of this helps even though I am sure it doesnt take the pain away.. I wish you the best of luck with everything..
in life like everything else...it takes time
Spot on.Everything does take time.No parent should ever have to go through losing a child.It is only expected that this time of year would bring all the feelings home.Everybody is different and gets through the grief in different ways.My Dad died a few years ago and i have never got over the fact i never got the chance to say goodbye and have bottled it up since then.Only you know if you think shrinks can help.If not,there is always people like us.Take care.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
The emotions are still fresh because it was your son.
:2 cents:
Don't believe it when people say that "time heals all wounds", because it doesn't. Time does nothing but allow for more crap to be piled on top of those wounds, temporarily hiding them from you. That is, until all of the piled on crap blows away, revealing the scar that has never healed, causing you to feel just as much pain as you did when you first got the scar.
It doesn't compare at all, but I literally have scars all over my arms from various injuries that I've endured over the years. Some of them are pretty bad and used to bother me a lot more than they do now. The best way to deal with a scar is to accept that you have it.
Live with the emotions, it's the only way. I lost my father in a traffic accident in 1997 (damn year). A loss is a loss. Time never mends anything. Therapists can help you to live with the pain. They teach you well.
I feel awful when somebody says bad things about his/her father or treats him bad. They are fucking stupid. I would give whole universe just to have a second more with my father. Don't try to cope, just live with the emotion whether it is good or bad. My best advice is that always remember and never forget those lovely 6 years.
Your son awaits you in heaven, just be patient.
I feel awful when somebody says bad things about his/her father or treats him bad. They are fucking stupid. I would give whole universe just to have a second more with my father. Don't try to cope, just live with the emotion whether it is good or bad. My best advice is that always remember and never forget those lovely 6 years.
Your son awaits you in heaven, just be patient.
Jagger69
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue
Not to be contentious, but your two paragraphs are diametrically opposed to each other, Chef. Scars are nothing more than the physical remnants of wounds that have healed. Your statement "The best way to deal with a scar is to accept that you have it" is absolutely dead-on 100% correct. :thumbsup:
You can never rid yourself of the hurt, but you can learn to keep it locked away in your heart and finally begin to function as a reasonably normal human being again. And it does take time....and lots and lots of love and help from others....to get there. It sure isn't easy and it doesn't happen overnight.
i have lost three children, all in different tragic ways. let me tell you, you will never get over it as that becomes part of your life as a permanent scar on your heart. grief is normal and natural so it is not something to be rejected, just accepted and recognized. i have two other children that i love very much who mean so much to me. we say and act as if children are ours but they are a gift from God, and we just take care of them for awhile. Life is short and precious. Love is infinite and you can give love as much as you please. We do not ask to be born and we don't ask to die. Make every day special and be thankful and grateful that you had six wonderful years with your son.
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