You know, I once met a girl a long time ago, I think the year was 1949. The war was over and we were all starting to live again. The grass seemed greener, children laughed and sung and played in the streets once more. The nation was beginning to re-build itself, oh what a wonderful time that was.
Anyway, getting back to your problem, so I met this girl she was about my age maybe a year or two younger, long blone hair and lips as red as your ass boils, so we had been caughting for about 3 months when she invited me back to her place. Her strict father was out and her mother was probably getting fucked by Mr Hisotgrantham the villages baker. So anyway we were in her living room getting slightly hot and heavy (if you know what I mean
) when all of a sudden she took me by the hand and lead me upstairs into her bedroom. She only had a single bed but I thought "
fuck it, I know whats coming next..........me"
We both undressed and were both pleasantly dissapointed in one anothers undressed appearance but we were here so why not? We got down to it, blah blah blah you dont really need to hear about that it was quite underwhelming. So afterwards I was lying there and all of a sudden she walked out of the room, and in what seemed like seconds walked back in naked holding this glass. Now looking back I really should have gone with my gut instinct and not drunk the mixture but I was all sexed out so what are you going to do. She walked straight up to me and shoved the glas under my nose and said "drink". I paused for a moment and looked back at her, "I'll let you stick it in again if you drink" she said. I took the glass from her and sniffed it, it smelt sweet and fruity so I took a sip, it tasted good so I drunk some more, then I downed the whole lot.
She was lying next to me before I could even finish, so we started up again, but throught that entire session I could feel myself losing strength and by the final thrust I could barely keep myself concious. I rolled onto my back and fell asleep.
I cannot tell you much about my sleep or what I later found out
coma but all I remember is that a man made out of cheese who looked alot like Stephen Fry lead me around Saudi Arabia telling me all these Quite Interesting facts about the country, I witnessed a public hanging of a woman who had sex with her father in law, turns out not of her own free will and a be heading of a mentally deranged man who flashed his genetalia at the passing traffic on ramadan. What a wonderful time me and Eric had - Eric being the man O cheese - we met a wide variety of interesting and socialble people that really liked the look of my penis (they asked I had to show them :dunno
. We met Richard the Lionheart he was still trying to figure out a way to take back the Holy Land but he to us anyway just seemed like a senile old man. He is immortal, I dont know why.
I cant really remember the next part it all seemed a little Kyle Minogue for my tastes, but what happened next is truley breath taking. Me an Eric were sitting in the living room of some sort of big city banker drinking a very nice expensive wine when all of a sudden a very tall man in his mid 50s walked into the room, went over to the record player and put on some music. Music that can only be described as house music, and he preceded to give both of us a lapdance. I'm not saying he isnt a nice person or he isnt attractive but seeing a man with far to much body hair grease himself up and dance around in a limegreen G-string does get slightly uncomfortable. Especially when the
teabagging starts. No thats not a comfortable place, but we had to sit through it for some reason that I never found out about, I'll ask Eric next time I see him.
During the time when he went full monty on us and waving around for everyone present to see, oh sorry I forgot to mention his wife Sheila, nice woman abit to much makeup for my liking. Anyway about that time I had this sharp stabbing pain in my side so bad the I collapsed right infront our host. I think I must have passed out or something because when I opened my eyes our hosts junk was about 2cm from my face, he was arguing with Eric over the correct disposal of a corpse, but when they noticed I was listening they soon shut up.
We thanked our hosts, but still feeling abit worse for ware Eric told me he'd take me home.
The all of a sudden I awoke in this horrible disgusting bath full of ice, I did not know where I was and what had happened to me.
I suppose the moral of this story is if you value your kidneys do not drink the blue liquid!!!
