--- Family Mis-Fortunes ---
- Thread starter tunsty
- Start date
1: Something that you do, to pass the time, when stuck in a lift -
2: A lewd sex act, that you could perform in the 'Gardening' section of your local library, without being noticed -
3: Celebrity you would most like to see boiled in a casserole and eaten by cannibals -
4: A wild, man-eating, vicious animal, that you would like to release into your workmates office.. just for a laugh -
5: An excuse for not tipping your waiter -
6: Musical instrument that you could play with 'no-hands' -
7: Previously unheard-of conspiracy story, that could be true -
8: A big whopping lie, that you would like to tell to the Queen -
9: A famous invention, that you wished that you had invented first -
10: 4 different faces, that should be on Mt Rushmore -
2: A lewd sex act, that you could perform in the 'Gardening' section of your local library, without being noticed -
3: Celebrity you would most like to see boiled in a casserole and eaten by cannibals -
4: A wild, man-eating, vicious animal, that you would like to release into your workmates office.. just for a laugh -
5: An excuse for not tipping your waiter -
6: Musical instrument that you could play with 'no-hands' -
7: Previously unheard-of conspiracy story, that could be true -
8: A big whopping lie, that you would like to tell to the Queen -
9: A famous invention, that you wished that you had invented first -
10: 4 different faces, that should be on Mt Rushmore -
maildude
Postal Paranoiac
1: Something that you do, to pass the time, when stuck in a lift - Knead my noodle
2: A lewd sex act, that you could perform in the 'Gardening' section of your local library, without being noticed -Screw in the hose.
3: Celebrity you would most like to see boiled in a casserole and eaten by cannibals -K Fed
4: A wild, man-eating, vicious animal, that you would like to release into your workmates office.. just for a laugh -Rob Zombie
5: An excuse for not tipping your waiter -His tits are too small
6: Musical instrument that you could play with 'no-hands' -Mouth organ
7: Previously unheard-of conspiracy story, that could be true -Kennedy was shot by Billy The Kid who traveled back in a time machine and he hates Catholics.
8: A big whopping lie, that you would like to tell to the Queen -You're sexy for a queen, mother!
9: A famous invention, that you wished that you had invented first -Mini marts
10: 4 different faces, that should be on Mt Rushmore -The Monopoly guy, Chuck Norris, Jennifer Connelly, and Mikey from the Life commercial.
2: A lewd sex act, that you could perform in the 'Gardening' section of your local library, without being noticed -Screw in the hose.
3: Celebrity you would most like to see boiled in a casserole and eaten by cannibals -K Fed
4: A wild, man-eating, vicious animal, that you would like to release into your workmates office.. just for a laugh -Rob Zombie
5: An excuse for not tipping your waiter -His tits are too small
6: Musical instrument that you could play with 'no-hands' -Mouth organ
7: Previously unheard-of conspiracy story, that could be true -Kennedy was shot by Billy The Kid who traveled back in a time machine and he hates Catholics.
8: A big whopping lie, that you would like to tell to the Queen -You're sexy for a queen, mother!
9: A famous invention, that you wished that you had invented first -Mini marts
10: 4 different faces, that should be on Mt Rushmore -The Monopoly guy, Chuck Norris, Jennifer Connelly, and Mikey from the Life commercial.
1: Something that you do, to pass the time, when stuck in a lift -Pretend that the camera in the lifts doesn't exist and start to talk to converse with myself complete with acting out what I'm saying
2: A lewd sex act, that you could perform in the 'Gardening' section of your local library, without being noticed -Checking the connection from the hose to the spout.
3: Celebrity you would most like to see boiled in a casserole and eaten by cannibals -I would say Paris Hilton, but she's too damn skinny to feed anyone, so I'm going to say Rosie O'Donnel
4: A wild, man-eating, vicious animal, that you would like to release into your workmates office.. just for a laugh -Elizabeth Taylor (She's a man eater)
5: An excuse for not tipping your waiter -They weren't good looking enough for my money...(you didn't say where they waited at...I'm thinking strip club...WooHoo)
6: Musical instrument that you could play with 'no-hands' -Skin Flute
7: Previously unheard-of conspiracy story, that could be true -Marilyn Manson was the sex toy of Hugh Hefner who modeled all of his future "bunnies" that live with him after her.
8: A big whopping lie, that you would like to tell to the Queen -You look even more beautiful now then you did before your 100 year reign, (she seems like she's that old...if not older)
9: A famous invention, that you wished that you had invented first -The In & Out
10: 4 different faces, that should be on Mt Rushmore -Hugh Hefner, Jennifer Tilly, Chucky (the doll), & Chester the Cheetah the Cheetos spokescat
2: A lewd sex act, that you could perform in the 'Gardening' section of your local library, without being noticed -Checking the connection from the hose to the spout.
3: Celebrity you would most like to see boiled in a casserole and eaten by cannibals -I would say Paris Hilton, but she's too damn skinny to feed anyone, so I'm going to say Rosie O'Donnel
4: A wild, man-eating, vicious animal, that you would like to release into your workmates office.. just for a laugh -Elizabeth Taylor (She's a man eater)
5: An excuse for not tipping your waiter -They weren't good looking enough for my money...(you didn't say where they waited at...I'm thinking strip club...WooHoo)
6: Musical instrument that you could play with 'no-hands' -Skin Flute
7: Previously unheard-of conspiracy story, that could be true -Marilyn Manson was the sex toy of Hugh Hefner who modeled all of his future "bunnies" that live with him after her.
8: A big whopping lie, that you would like to tell to the Queen -You look even more beautiful now then you did before your 100 year reign, (she seems like she's that old...if not older)
9: A famous invention, that you wished that you had invented first -The In & Out
10: 4 different faces, that should be on Mt Rushmore -Hugh Hefner, Jennifer Tilly, Chucky (the doll), & Chester the Cheetah the Cheetos spokescat
maildude
Postal Paranoiac
1. A health problem you'd love to have.
2. Something you'd see at a tupperware party.
3. A fictitious brand of cigarette.
4. A pick-up line you'd use at church.
5. A song that makes you want to tear off your ears.
6. Something about yourself you'd overhear at a class reunion.
7. Something weird in the dairy section of your grocery store.
8. Someone you'd drink a toast to right now.
9. A funny pet name for George W. Bush.
10. A country you'd obliterate off the map--once it's been evacuated, of course.
2. Something you'd see at a tupperware party.
3. A fictitious brand of cigarette.
4. A pick-up line you'd use at church.
5. A song that makes you want to tear off your ears.
6. Something about yourself you'd overhear at a class reunion.
7. Something weird in the dairy section of your grocery store.
8. Someone you'd drink a toast to right now.
9. A funny pet name for George W. Bush.
10. A country you'd obliterate off the map--once it's been evacuated, of course.
dick van cock
Closed Account
1) priapism
2) hosts Dec & Ant
3) Grave-y Train
4) Hey, Jezebel! Let me teach you what happened at Sodom!
5) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NErNvVJEjys
6) "What? He's still alive?"
7) scrotum cheese
8) miniD's birfday
9) Dopey, the unfunny dwarf
10) Austria (before it's been evacuated, off course)
2) hosts Dec & Ant
3) Grave-y Train
4) Hey, Jezebel! Let me teach you what happened at Sodom!
5) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NErNvVJEjys
6) "What? He's still alive?"
7) scrotum cheese
8) miniD's birfday
9) Dopey, the unfunny dwarf
10) Austria (before it's been evacuated, off course)
1. A health problem you'd love to have. - Chronically attractive to women.
2. Something you'd see at a tupperware party. - unattractive middle-aged housewifes with a fetish for plastic.
3. A fictitious brand of cigarette. - Dr Wheeze's Lung busting, non-filter high-tars.
4. A pick-up line you'd use at church. - Drinketh thy wine and get thine Coat.. Thou hast pulled.
5. A song that makes you want to tear off your ears. - Anything by the Spice Girls.
6. Something about yourself you'd overhear at a class reunion. - Wow..if I thought tunsty would mature into someone that handsome, I'd have snogged him behind the bike shed long ago..(and that's just a couple of the hot teachers I used to have)
7. Something weird in the dairy section of your grocery store. - Buttered Knobs
8. Someone you'd drink a toast to right now. - Tim Berners Lee...inventer of the internet.
May we rejoice in his vision and dedication to the pursu... oh what the hell, PORN AND ILLEGAL MUSIC...WAHOO!!
9. A funny pet name for George W. Bush. - Twattykins
10. A country you'd obliterate off the map--once it's been evacuated, of course. - France (Can I request that Monica Bellucci come live with me, on account of her being made homeless).
2. Something you'd see at a tupperware party. - unattractive middle-aged housewifes with a fetish for plastic.
3. A fictitious brand of cigarette. - Dr Wheeze's Lung busting, non-filter high-tars.
4. A pick-up line you'd use at church. - Drinketh thy wine and get thine Coat.. Thou hast pulled.
5. A song that makes you want to tear off your ears. - Anything by the Spice Girls.
6. Something about yourself you'd overhear at a class reunion. - Wow..if I thought tunsty would mature into someone that handsome, I'd have snogged him behind the bike shed long ago..(and that's just a couple of the hot teachers I used to have)
7. Something weird in the dairy section of your grocery store. - Buttered Knobs
8. Someone you'd drink a toast to right now. - Tim Berners Lee...inventer of the internet.
May we rejoice in his vision and dedication to the pursu... oh what the hell, PORN AND ILLEGAL MUSIC...WAHOO!!
9. A funny pet name for George W. Bush. - Twattykins
10. A country you'd obliterate off the map--once it's been evacuated, of course. - France (Can I request that Monica Bellucci come live with me, on account of her being made homeless).
dick van cock
Closed Account
Thanks, MD & tunsty! 
1) A music album you are embarrassed to own
2) Something you serve at a family reunion
3) A place seldom visited
4) The secret ingredient in that yummy Chinese dish
5) The name of that yummy Chinese dish
6) Your worst enemy
7) Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
8) The cheapest item in your local supermarket
9) An act Dick Cheney would perform on the Gong Show
10) The ideal host city for the Olympics
1) A music album you are embarrassed to own
2) Something you serve at a family reunion
3) A place seldom visited
4) The secret ingredient in that yummy Chinese dish
5) The name of that yummy Chinese dish
6) Your worst enemy
7) Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
8) The cheapest item in your local supermarket
9) An act Dick Cheney would perform on the Gong Show
10) The ideal host city for the Olympics
maildude
Postal Paranoiac
1) A music album you are embarrassed to own--The Muppets Sing In Swahili
2) Something you serve at a family reunion--food that comes to life and crawls off the table like in Indiana Jones
3) A place seldom visited--Bakersfield, CA
4) The secret ingredient in that yummy Chinese dish--yummy Chinese lead
5) The name of that yummy Chinese dish--Egg Foo Plumbum
6) Your worst enemy--Big Ethel
7) Where is Jimmy Hoffa?--In your local gardening store
8) The cheapest item in your local supermarket--free samples(soon to cost a dollar apiece)
9) An act Dick Cheney would perform on the Gong Show--cleaning a rifle while singing a song about lying to the American public
10) The ideal host city for the Olympics--Dhaka(they could use the economic influx)
2) Something you serve at a family reunion--food that comes to life and crawls off the table like in Indiana Jones
3) A place seldom visited--Bakersfield, CA
4) The secret ingredient in that yummy Chinese dish--yummy Chinese lead
5) The name of that yummy Chinese dish--Egg Foo Plumbum
6) Your worst enemy--Big Ethel
7) Where is Jimmy Hoffa?--In your local gardening store
8) The cheapest item in your local supermarket--free samples(soon to cost a dollar apiece)
9) An act Dick Cheney would perform on the Gong Show--cleaning a rifle while singing a song about lying to the American public
10) The ideal host city for the Olympics--Dhaka(they could use the economic influx)
Lest Ye Forget... I mean BUMP
1) Something you wear, to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.
2) Animal (other than dog) that you could have guard your house.
3) Somewhere you could stand-up and shout 'knickers' without being embarrassed.
4) Something you wouldn't want to find in your refrigerator.
5) Country that should be 'walled-off' and used as a prison camp (like in 'Escape from New York')
6) Something a farmer might do, if he finds you trespassing on his property.
7) Something you would like to say to the Pope.
8) A film that would be better with more sex-scenes.
9) Something that gives you nightmares.
10) Ideal substitute for toilet roll, when you've run out.
1) Something you wear, to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.
2) Animal (other than dog) that you could have guard your house.
3) Somewhere you could stand-up and shout 'knickers' without being embarrassed.
4) Something you wouldn't want to find in your refrigerator.
5) Country that should be 'walled-off' and used as a prison camp (like in 'Escape from New York')
6) Something a farmer might do, if he finds you trespassing on his property.
7) Something you would like to say to the Pope.
8) A film that would be better with more sex-scenes.
9) Something that gives you nightmares.
10) Ideal substitute for toilet roll, when you've run out.
maildude
Postal Paranoiac
1) Something you wear, to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.--a burlap sack
2) Animal (other than dog) that you could have guard your house.--hedonis
3) Somewhere you could stand-up and shout 'knickers' without being embarrassed.--at a NY Knicks game
4) Something you wouldn't want to find in your refrigerator.--an eskimo
5) Country that should be 'walled-off' and used as a prison camp (like in 'Escape from New York')--north korea
6) Something a farmer might do, if he finds you trespassing on his property.--make you sleep with his daughter
7) Something you would like to say to the Pope.--"Got a smoke?"
8) A film that would be better with more sex-scenes.--Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
9) Something that gives you nightmares.--Big Ethel
10) Ideal substitute for toilet roll, when you've run out.--Playboy magazine with Pam Anderson pictorial
2) Animal (other than dog) that you could have guard your house.--hedonis
3) Somewhere you could stand-up and shout 'knickers' without being embarrassed.--at a NY Knicks game
4) Something you wouldn't want to find in your refrigerator.--an eskimo
5) Country that should be 'walled-off' and used as a prison camp (like in 'Escape from New York')--north korea
6) Something a farmer might do, if he finds you trespassing on his property.--make you sleep with his daughter
7) Something you would like to say to the Pope.--"Got a smoke?"
8) A film that would be better with more sex-scenes.--Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
9) Something that gives you nightmares.--Big Ethel
10) Ideal substitute for toilet roll, when you've run out.--Playboy magazine with Pam Anderson pictorial
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