--- Family Mis-Fortunes ---

[tunsty]

Loosely based on the Quiz show Family Fortunes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Fortunes.

I will pose ten questions, along similar lines to those on the program, BUT..the answers must be silly, ridiculous and funny like some of these.. http://www.businessballs.com/familyfortunesanswers.htm


After a period of a few days (or maybe longer) I will choose someone's answers that I think are the silliest and that person can post ten questions themselves.


Here are the first ten questions (I've gone to the trouble of giving some answers myself..just so you can see how silly they need to be)

1- A habit people try to give up: Picking their nose and wiping it on their pants

2- Something that makes you scream: Seeing Ron Jeremy in the nude

3- Something people might be allergic to: Work

4- Something you keep in a garden shed: A hostage

5- Something with a hole in it: My shoe...and it's letting in water

6- Something that flies without an engine: A pig that has been shot out of a cannon

7- Something people take to the beach: Hidden camera

8- Something you associate with the sea: Drowning

9- An animal used as a form of transport: The Dragon from Shrek

10- Something you do whilst sitting on the toilet: Make interesting noises with your bottom.

You get the general gist of what I'm after here...I used most of these questions from the link above, but you may use other questions, if you think of them and if you're chosen as the winner.

So, using the same ten questions, let's have your answers...AND MAKE THEM BLOODYWELL FUNNY!

 

[maildude]

1- A habit people try to give up: Masturbating to The Donna Reed Show

2- Something that makes you scream: Finding mayonnaise on my hamburger

3- Something people might be allergic to: Spermicide

4- Something you keep in a garden shed: A smaller garden shed

5- Something with a hole in it: A one-finger bowling ball

6- Something that flies without an engine: Peter Pan

7- Something people take to the beach: The fattest, ugliest friend they have

8- Something you associate with the sea: Flipper

9- An animal used as a form of transport: Tauntaun

10- Something you do whilst sitting on the toilet: Concentrate hard and try to forget I have a penis.

 

[tunsty]

Well...it's been a tough decision, but I'll have to go with maildude's answers:hatsoff:

 

[maildude]

Well...it's been a tough decision, but I'll have to go with maildude's answers:hatsoff:

:rofl:

 

[tunsty]

Post ten questions maildude..

 

[maildude]

Gotcha. Had to read the rules again.:o

1. A book you've never read, but meant to:
2. What you do during halftime at a sporting event:
3. Something you wear on your head:
4. A really dangerous occupation:
5. Something you'd find at a McDonald's restaurant:
6. A song that gets people "in the mood":
7. Something a farmer uses:
8. Someplace you park your car:
9. Something made out of rubber:
10. Something really, really small:

 

[dick van cock]

1) Many people will say: "DvC, you should absolutely read THIS
2) streak across the lawn
3) halo
4) being George Michael's urologist
5) solace
6) Frank Zappa: "Fuck Yourself"
7) a sheep
8) swimming pool (rock 'n' roll, baby!)
9) Dale Winton
10) my salary


... sorry, that's the best I have in me! :o

 

[member006]

1. A book you've never read, but meant to:
That Mars and Venus one. lol
2. What you do during halftime at a sporting event:
I go to the ladies room.
3. Something you wear on your head:
hair clips
4. A really dangerous occupation:
Repo
5. Something you'd find at a McDonald's restaurant:
trash in the parking lot
6. A song that gets people "in the mood":
'Rock Me Tonight'
7. Something a farmer uses:
Like all men, a hoe.
8. Someplace you park your car:
A block away.
9. Something made out of rubber:
My new red and black outfit.
10. Something really, really small:
Not Santa's PP that's for sure.

LL

 

[tunsty]

1. A book you've never read, but meant to: 101 Super Uses for Tampon Applicators: A Helpful Guide for the Environmentally Conscious Consumer of Feminine Hygiene Products (real book) - because I just want to help the environment...even when I'm in no position to.

2. What you do during halftime at a sporting event: search down the back of the couch for loose change.

3. Something you wear on your head: A blue flashing light from a police car.

4. A really dangerous occupation: Taunting BNF with "Giselle is a slapper"

5. Something you'd find at a McDonald's restaurant: A lifetime of work...if you happen to be a cardiologist.

6. A song that gets people "in the mood": The Theme from The Benny Hill show.

7. Something a farmer uses: Foul Language

8. Someplace you park your car: In a Lake

9. Something made out of rubber: Peter Stringfellow's thong

10. Something really, really small: The Mind of a Bigot

 

[maildude]

All three were dandy, but DVC wins on the book question alone. :1orglaugh

 

[dick van cock]

Me? Well... :shy:

1) a rare flavor of ice cream
2) an underrated TV show
3) what the butler saw
4) a place you'd like to visit
5) a surefire way to become famous
6) something you are too ashamed to buy at the supermarket
7) a reason to phone Mother
8) something you'd find at an old folks home
9) a vehicle for children
10) something that induces nausea

 

[tunsty]

1) a rare flavor of ice cream: Pussy.
2) an underrated TV show: The Weather Forecast
3) what the butler saw: 98 different sex positions...12 of which he previously thought were impossible.
4) a place you'd like to visit: Petra Verkaik's Bedroom.
5) a surefire way to become famous: Shout BOMB! at any U.S. airport.
6) something you are too ashamed to buy at the supermarket: Pussy flavour ice-cream.
7) a reason to phone Mother: Because you need some washing done.
8) something you'd find at an old folks home: Calling card for the local undertaker's.
9) a vehicle for children: One of those huge dumper trucks....you can get loads of kids in the back.
10) something that induces nausea: Thinking about my job.

 

[maildude]

I don't think I have a chance against tunsty here, but:

1) a rare flavor of ice cream--shrimp parfait
2) an underrated TV show--My Mother, The Hearse
3) what the butler saw--JFK and Fidel smoking a fattie
4) a place you'd like to visit--the moon, Alice...THE MOON!
5) a surefire way to become famous--marry Liz Taylor
6) something you are too ashamed to buy at the supermarket--broken Oreos
7) a reason to phone Mother--da b*tch owes you money.
8) something you'd find at an old folks home--nurses with no real experience
9) a vehicle for children--Mr. Fondle's Ice Cream truck
10) something that induces nausea--Jennifer Connelly wasting her hot body on that scarecrow she's married to

 

[dick van cock]

*bump*

Great efforts, you two! :1orglaugh

I'd call it a tie ...

But before this thread suffers a premature death I'll give it back to Tunsty!

 

[tunsty]

Thanks..

1) Something you throw
2) Something you find in a public toilet
3) Something you can put in your ear
4) An animal can be easily caught and cooked
5) A sport that you could enter and win
6) A good excuse for not turning up for a date
7) A game you played as a kid
8) Somewhere you go to in your car
9) A TV programme that could be made with puppets without anyone noticing
10) Something you say to a one-legged prostitute

 

[dick van cock]

1) dwarfs
2) Tory MPs
3) my penis (you asked about my abilities, not yours! )
4) roadkill
5) breast-stroke contest
6) "I bumped into my local MP."
7) shoot-the-parents
8) the nearest public lavaTory.
9) Ant & Dec's Saturday Takeaway
10) "Spread your leg!"

* hoping that maildude can come up with something better :o *

 

[maildude]

1) Something you throw--a rock at a tank
2) Something you find in a public toilet--that blue shit
3) Something you can put in your ear--a banana(an old joke)
4) An animal can be easily caught and cooked--Ron Paul
5) A sport that you could enter and win--javelin catching
6) A good excuse for not turning up for a date--not having one
7) A game you played as a kid--Young Doctor Kildare
8) Somewhere you go to in your car--the Flowerama to pick up daisies!
9) A TV programme that could be made with puppets without anyone noticing--the Nightly News
10) Something you say to a one-legged prostitute--Your name's Ilene, right?

 

[tunsty]

hmmmm....50/50 decision.

But the 'Ilene' gag just nips it for maildude.:hatsoff:

 

[maildude]

1. Something prickly
2. The ideal romantic location
3. The best part of a pizza
4. A first date mishap
5. Your favorite movie monster
6. A sport event where you'd cheer the loudest
7. Something you'd never wear
8. Your favorite holiday
9. Something in your car's glove compartment
10. Finish this line: "I would have come to your party, but I was..."

 

[tunsty]

1. Something prickly - The Chinese, whenever anyone mentions 'human rights'
2. The ideal romantic location - The reptile section at Chester Zoo..makes my date look almost kissable by comparison.
3. The best part of a pizza - The box..long after the pizza has gone the box can be handy for beating up old people.
4. A first date mishap - Cock hanging out of zipper
5. Your favorite movie monster - George Lucas..for fucking up the Star Wars series.
6. A sport event where you'd cheer the loudest - Bear-baiting
7. Something you'd never wear - a smile
8. Your favorite holiday - tunstymas
9. Something in your car's glove compartment - a space that's too small to fit a shotgun, baseball bat, or any other type of decent sized anti car-jacking device.
10. Finish this line: "I would have come to your party, but I was n't invited....you bastard!