Ex-coworker ex-girl drama

[HELLRAISER]

Forgive me for the length of this rant, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, of course.

Fucked up situation and question: I have been messing around with a chick from work, whom has a Fiance who treats her like trash, for quite some time. Mostly sex but I actually really cared about her and she seemed to care about me. I moved out of the state not too long ago because I got offered a better job elsewhere but we continued to chat and I flew and visited her every now and then to hang out and have sex (when she could get away from her boyfriend). I was the best sex she ever had, or so she claimed, and would get crazy wet from like 10 seconds of kissing me (I verified this to be correct)

I got tired of being alone, so I started to reconcile with my ex-wife and things have been going great. I got tired of having my ex-coworker as a fuck-buddy since I really cared and I am not a cheater so I decided I was going to tell her that we don't have a future together (since she'd never leave her fiance) and that I was getting back with my ex. Before I could do so, however, I spoke to my friend from my ex job (who was the only person that knew about your relationship) and told him my plans. He then told me that she has actually been seeing another guy and it seems to be getting serious (i.e. he brings her flowers, treats her right, etc.)

For some reason, this got me crazy depressed, it was like I got punched in the stomach. My friend told me he didn't mention it to me before (this has been going on for 3 weeks now and I last saw her 4 weeks ago) because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but thought that I could handle it now because I was chatting with my ex-wife and we were going to get back together. He assured me that she probably does really care about me and we'd be together if I was still in the same state but I made the decision to leave. Again sorry for the rant, I just haven't been this depressed since the wife left me and now I am just torn...I think I really want to be with my ex-coworker...Do you guys have any thoughts on this?

dating co-workers is a no-no and dating women who are engaged to other men or have a bf is a no-no as well

this chic is a player and i feel sorry for the unsuspecting sucker who marries this no good slut who tells idiots that her bf treats her like shit so they can feel sorry and pity for and feel no guilt or remorse for fucking her although is engaged to another man. Her bf or fiance should be told that he's being played before she gets pregnant by someone else and tries to pin someone elses baby from a fling on him

 

[raychik]

dating co-workers is a no-no and dating women who are engaged to other men or have a bf is a no-no as well

this chic is a player and i feel sorry for the unsuspecting sucker who marries this no good slut who tells idiots that her bf treats her like shit so they can feel sorry and pity for and feel no guilt or remorse for fucking her although is engaged to another man. Her bf or fiance should be told that he's being played before she gets pregnant by someone else and tries to pin someone elses baby from a fling on him

Its so funny you should say that, my cousin told me the same exact thing. She was actually my ex-boss in my previous job and some people told me that'd be trouble (others told me I could sue lol)

 

[HELLRAISER]

^ that's funny that your cousin and I said the same thing. I doubt that she's victimized by her spouse although there are some women out there that are abused by men they're in love with just as there are some women who are also manipulative, treacherous and abusive to men who are suckers and in love with these heffers.

Since you had consensual sex with her, you probably wouldn't win a sexual harassment lawsuit against her. But since she was a floozy who slept around with other men, you should get a STD check up and if you find out that you have an STD, sue dat bitch!

 

[mrtrebus]

My opinion is she is playing you. The best thing you could do is just move on.

Exactly. She is keeping you on the subs bench for when she wants you. Kick her to the kerb (or whatever it is da kidz say) & move on.

 

[raychik]

Some might define this as a "bitch move" but I contacted her fiance and let him know that she is fucking around on him. He was pissed but believed me right away, said it didn't surprise him, and that he was going to catch her in the act. That was also my way of severing all ties with her since she would most likely know it was me (even though I didn't use my name and I "spoofed" my caller i.d. number).

 

[Krawzer]

Kinda harsh, I don't think it was your place to do so, just my :2 cents:

 

[raychik]

He was going to find out anyway, I just sped up the process. I just hope he doesn't do anything insane though...this thought makes me regret saying anything pretty much due to jealousy...

 

[HELLRAISER]

Some might define this as a "bitch move" but I contacted her fiance and let him know that she is fucking around on him. He was pissed but believed me right away, said it didn't surprise him, and that he was going to catch her in the act. That was also my way of severing all ties with her since she would most likely know it was me (even though I didn't use my name and I "spoofed" my caller i.d. number).

you did him a great favor no matter how painful the truth of it is. If you were in his shoes, you'd probably react in the same way he did and want to be told if you're future wife was cheating on you before you were to marry her. If he as any brains, he will dump that bitch and stop wasting his time and energy on her and move on with his life

 

[raychik]

you did him a great favor no matter how painful the truth of it is. If you were in his shoes, you'd probably react in the same way he did and want to be told if you're future wife was cheating on you before you were to marry her. If he as any brains, he will dump that bitch and stop wasting his time and energy on her and move on with his life

I agree about that but I just hope he doesn't go nuts and then kill her and/or the new guy. That would heavily weigh on me.

 

[HELLRAISER]

^ that's possible and hopefully he won't do that. He's better off of he manages to let his reasoning take over rather then his emotions take over. He needs to realize there's plenty of babes out there he could be banging as a bachelor instead of marrying and being committed and monogamous to a woman until death or divorce does them apart who cheats on him whenever she can

 

[jasonk282]

He should marry her and then hire a PI, I choose Magnum, to investage her and once enough evidence is found that she cheated, divorce her ass and take everything she got.

 

[Rey C.]

Some might define this as a "bitch move" but I contacted her fiance and let him know that she is fucking around on him. He was pissed but believed me right away, said it didn't surprise him, and that he was going to catch her in the act. That was also my way of severing all ties with her since she would most likely know it was me (even though I didn't use my name and I "spoofed" my caller i.d. number).

Now even though I think this girl is the epitome of a slut, I don't understand why you did this to her. When I've found out that someone I've been seeing has a boyfriend or husband (that they've been hiding from me), I have become very angry. But you knew that she was engaged all along. So you were a willing part of this cheat. And then you were the one who moved away and left her... she didn't leave you. But you still felt the need to fuck with her??? I really don't get it.

I'm certainly not taking up for her, cause she sounds like a total whore. But you've now admitted some pretty low things about yourself.

 

[skechers]

Now even though I think this girl is the epitome of a slut, I don't understand why you did this to her. When I've found out that someone I've been seeing has a boyfriend or husband (that they've been hiding from me), I have become very angry. But you knew that she was engaged all along. So you were a willing part of this cheat. And then you were the one who moved away and left her... she didn't leave you. But you still felt the need to fuck with her??? I really don't get it.

I'm certainly not taking up for her, cause she sounds like a total whore. But you've now admitted some pretty low things about yourself.

I can't help but agree.

 

[raychik]

Now even though I think this girl is the epitome of a slut, I don't understand why you did this to her. When I've found out that someone I've been seeing has a boyfriend or husband (that they've been hiding from me), I have become very angry. But you knew that she was engaged all along. So you were a willing part of this cheat. And then you were the one who moved away and left her... she didn't leave you. But you still felt the need to fuck with her??? I really don't get it.

I'm certainly not taking up for her, cause she sounds like a total whore. But you've now admitted some pretty low things about yourself.

I really don't know why I did it...jealousy I suppose but she was never mine and I felt like shit after doing it...

 

[jasonk282]

Now even though I think this girl is the epitome of a slut, I don't understand why you did this to her. When I've found out that someone I've been seeing has a boyfriend or husband (that they've been hiding from me), I have become very angry. But you knew that she was engaged all along. So you were a willing part of this cheat. And then you were the one who moved away and left her... she didn't leave you. But you still felt the need to fuck with her??? I really don't get it.

I'm certainly not taking up for her, cause she sounds like a total whore. But you've now admitted some pretty low things about yourself.

Agree 100,000% petty childish stuff. like Rey said your the one who left her, your the one who knew she was engaged then you pull some low life bullshit like that.

 

[Rey C.]

I really don't know why I did it...jealousy I suppose but she was never mine and I felt like shit after doing it...

There was a woman I used to see when I was travelling to Dallas a few years ago. We got together after a meeting, got to know each other by talking more and she was fun to go out to dinner and hang out with (that's what we called our get togethers) when I was in town. But the only number she'd give me was her work cell and she only wanted to see me at my hotel (cause it was closer to her office - Wut? )... and this was after about three months of seeing each other every couple of weeks. I travel a lot. And I've learned to become suspicious when things don't add up. But she was dumb. It's not like she was the only person with that company that I knew - I knew dozens of people there. All I did was ask around and I found out that Sweetheart was indeed married. I'm not Mr. Morals or anything. I just don't screw around with married or involved women - simple rule. I'm just not into that kind of stuff. Other stuff, yeah? If a girl will try it, we're probably going to do it. But I just don't do that. Morals aside, there's bound to be some bullshit sooner or later when you mess around with involved people.

Long story short, I just told this girl not to call me anymore. And if/when we saw each other professionally, we should be civil with each other. She got all emotional and asked why I was being so mean? I told her I wasn't being mean at all. "I know you're married, you kept that from me and this is going exactly no where. Take care. No hard feelings. But don't call me unless it's business related." And that was that. I saw her several times after that. No B.S., drama or hard looks from me. She ignored and avoided me. I would have spoken to her if she had spoken to me. And that's OK. But I certainly had no reason to call her husband and rat her out to get back at her. Why??? I've still got pictures of her: shit-faced drunk and naked, dancing on the hood of her (his?) Corvette (actually cracked the hood!), walking around my hotel room bare assed, posing on the bed, "Dude, I know your wife has a tattoo of an angel on her lower back and her nipples stay inverted til she gets excited and then they get erect - yeah, I'm banging your wife!!!"... I could have sunk her marriage so fast it's not funny. But why? :dunno: It's not like I was in love with her and wanted her to be my bride. She was a summer romance. And once it was done, I had no desire to be part of or start any ongoing drama in her life... or more importantly, my life.

 

[titsrock]

^
Well, were you banging her? The first paragraph seems like you were hanging out and maybe considering banging her. The second paragraph seems like you ejected from the scene once you found out she was married. If she only wanted to meet you at your hotel room, I'm thinking she was quite happy having a fuck buddy :dunno: "Summer Romance" means wining and dining to me, not "sealing the deal." :dunno:

Back to the OP: I say EJECT FROM THIS SITUATION OP!!! I don't think you should get back with you Ex nor do I think you should try to keep banging this other chick. I wouldn't really hold it against her for banging other guys on the side because you two weren't "monogamous" eh?

I just think you are heading down two paths that are filled with snakes...avoid the snaky situations. It doesn't sound like you have problems finding women to bang....move along OP..

 

[delasoul]

Yeah man why beat yourself up. Move on brother. Find someone totally outside that circle. Take some time to clear your head first though.

 

[Rey C.]

^
Well, were you banging her? The first paragraph seems like you were hanging out and maybe considering banging her. The second paragraph seems like you ejected from the scene once you found out she was married. If she only wanted to meet you at your hotel room, I'm thinking she was quite happy having a fuck buddy :dunno: "Summer Romance" means wining and dining to me, not "sealing the deal." :dunno:

Yeah, eventually there was whoopin' & bangin'. But I was in DFW primarily for work. The only free time I really had was in the evenings. So the "your hotel is closer to my office... let's just meet at your place" thing made sense... until I stayed over one weekend about 3 months in. For a woman who made good money in aerospace, I figured she shouldn't be ashamed of where she lived. So there must have been some other reason why I was there for the weekend, but we couldn't swing by her place.

And "summer romance" in the sense that I liked her and we did romantic stuff together - not just about the bangin'. I wasn't in love with her, but she was sharp, liked and knew about cars, was fun and liked to have a good time. Nice enough girl, or so I thought. When I had to go to Amarillo, she flew over to see me that week. Stayed at my hotel with me. Made it a great week. I have no idea how that was explained to Mr. Husband... business trip maybe? And the cracked hood on the Vette? The late nights during the week? Returning home wearing different clothes than what she left in for work? MIA for an entire weekend? I :dunno:

But if someone is playing coy about routine, everyday things, I figure they're hiding something. Maybe her husband was OK with her activities. I don't know. I didn't care. I just knew that once I found out, that had to be it. I've been around long enough to know that married/involved women will be a problem 99 times out of 100, sooner than later - no matter what kind of relationship they claim they're in. The only and last communication I had with her was a short email from her that said, "What about the pics?" I replied, "What pics?" If I was married, I dont think I would pose for nudie pictures, but I guess we're all different. But I'm not into blackmailing or trying to ruin someone... unless they've done something truly foul that harms me financially or otherwise. And IMO, she hadn't. She was a cheat, but she wasn't my cheat. So why sink her? I just didn't (and don't) see the need for that sort of thing.

 

[raychik]

So why sink her? I just didn't (and don't) see the need for that sort of thing.

I claim temporary insanity. The guy did deserve to know but obviously the reason why I told him wasn't for the sake of honesty since I had no qualms when she was just hooking up with me...

I'm a guy...a pretty girl doesn't have to "woo" me or whisper sweet-nothings in my ear...all she has to say is "do you want to fuck me" and the answer would always be a resounding YES. Just made me really upset that she said all these sweet things to me only so that I could fuck her when it would have been completely unnecessary for the purposes she in had in mind.