Ex-coworker ex-girl drama

[raychik]

Forgive me for the length of this rant, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, of course.

Fucked up situation and question: I have been messing around with a chick from work, whom has a Fiance who treats her like trash, for quite some time. Mostly sex but I actually really cared about her and she seemed to care about me. I moved out of the state not too long ago because I got offered a better job elsewhere but we continued to chat and I flew and visited her every now and then to hang out and have sex (when she could get away from her boyfriend). I was the best sex she ever had, or so she claimed, and would get crazy wet from like 10 seconds of kissing me (I verified this to be correct)

I got tired of being alone, so I started to reconcile with my ex-wife and things have been going great. I got tired of having my ex-coworker as a fuck-buddy since I really cared and I am not a cheater so I decided I was going to tell her that we don't have a future together (since she'd never leave her fiance) and that I was getting back with my ex. Before I could do so, however, I spoke to my friend from my ex job (who was the only person that knew about your relationship) and told him my plans. He then told me that she has actually been seeing another guy and it seems to be getting serious (i.e. he brings her flowers, treats her right, etc.)

For some reason, this got me crazy depressed, it was like I got punched in the stomach. My friend told me he didn't mention it to me before (this has been going on for 3 weeks now and I last saw her 4 weeks ago) because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but thought that I could handle it now because I was chatting with my ex-wife and we were going to get back together. He assured me that she probably does really care about me and we'd be together if I was still in the same state but I made the decision to leave. Again sorry for the rant, I just haven't been this depressed since the wife left me and now I am just torn...I think I really want to be with my ex-coworker...Do you guys have any thoughts on this?

 

[mongo18]

Errrrm....reaping what you sow?

 

[raychik]

Errrrm....reaping what you sow?

I know...I know...But it just sorta happened and I really ended up caring about her.

 

[24788]

I'd stay away from her. Would she care if she cheated on you?

 

[Rey C.]

I'd stay away from her. Would she care if she cheated on you?

He probably only knows about half the guys she's fucking. Sounds like the sheets were still warm from him and she'd already found herself another (3rd?) guy. Plus it sounds like he was two-timing the ex-wife and still hitting it with this co-worker at some point.

Advice? :dunno: Use a condom? Get tested for STD's? Don't get shot or stabbed by one of the several men that seem to be going in & out of her bedroom? How about, don't date whores, especially those who have fiancees? :thumbsup:

I'm not into the lifestyle myself, but I know people who are swingers. They're open with their partners about the whole deal - so at least they're being honest. But I have no time for dishonest people who sneak around fucking this one, while someone else is fucking that one.

 

[raychik]

He probably only knows about half the guys she's fucking. Sounds like the sheets were still warm from him and she'd already found herself another (3rd?) guy. Plus it sounds like he was two-timing the ex-wife and still hitting it with this co-worker at some point.

I never cheated on the ex-wife. I last saw my ex-coworker 4 weeks ago and I only started reconciling with the ex-wife about 2 weeks ago. Also, when I was with her I'm pretty sure I was the only guy fucking her since she was so tight (her fiance never fucks her, or so she claims, due to not being able to get it up).

 

[Rey C.]

I never cheated on the ex-wife. I last saw my ex-coworker 4 weeks ago and I only started reconciling with the ex-wife about 2 weeks ago. Also, when I was with her I'm pretty sure I was the only guy fucking her since she was so tight (her fiance never fucks her, or so she claims, due to not being able to get it up).

I'm not trying to pass judgement on you, Jason. I hope it works out for you. All I'm going by is what you've said: she has a fiancee, which you knew about (a bit more serious than just a "boyfriend"), and this latest fellow makes AT LEAST the second fellow that she's cheated on the fiancee with.

And unless she's been getting DP'ed by Peter North and Long Dong Silver right before you picked her up for dinner, you can't tell that a girl hasn't been fucking anybody else by how tight she is. I know a girl who's had 3 kids and she's as tight as a Jr. Prom date.

I've gotten involved with women where I didn't know they were married until after the deed was done. And I've always dumped them. I'm not exactly Mr. Morality, but the way I see it, if a woman will lie to or cheat on her husband, she'll damn sure lie, cheat and steal from me. "But she seems soooo sweet." Whores and cons always do, my friend - the successful ones, anyway.

But good luck to you.

 

[norvile rogers]

It OK to feel bad, that is natural, because you thought she looked as you as being special to her. She's the type of woman that would not do well in committed relationship. Focus your love attention on your ex-wife, especially if things are going well.

 

[JacknCoke]

I've gotten involved with women where I didn't know they were married until after the deed was done. And I've always dumped them. I'm not exactly Mr. Morality, but the way I see it, if a woman will lie to or cheat on her husband, she'll damn sure lie, cheat and steal from me. "But she seems soooo sweet." Whores and cons always do, my friend - the successful ones, anyway.

This is the only thing you should have to read Jason. Greta post and exactly what I was going to put, besides the whole sleeping with the married. I was going to suggest the bold part!

 

[alexpnz]

Bottom Line, She used the ol' "Use this dude to get over a bad thing on my way to what Im truly looking for!" okeydoke, on you dude!
Just put your energy into what you have now and keep it movin.

To quote the GREAT Noel Gallagher....."Dont Look Back In Anger!" :sing:

 

[lurkingdirk]

i think you should get all five of you in the room (you, ex-wife, girlfriend, girlfriend's fiancee, and girlfriend's screw partner), get naked, and just work it out.

bring lube. and utensils.

 

[raychik]

Everything you guys have said makes a lot of sense and in my mind I even agree with you. The only thing is that I don't want to admit to myself I suppose, that she was just using me. The guy that she is now seeing is actually a really good friend of mine as well and he's the nicest guy (he knew nothing about us but he does know that she has a fiance), I literally have nothing bad to say about him, so maybe that's why I'm so distraught...I was shaking earlier today, I am such a pussy...

 

[jasonk282]

nothing wrong with gettiing some pussy from a co-worker. But married or engaged STAY AWAY, it's just asking for trouble that you don't want to deal with.

 

[skechers]

You were already moving on.

You never really had a romantic relationship. You have to understand that. Whenever you get involved with anyone who is already involved with someone else, and won't do the right thing from the beggining - which is: be honest - you aren't really exclusive. In this situation, you can't really expect too much from the other person.

I think she understood from the beggining that despite the fact that you care for eachother, she wasn't in love with you. And so all it was was a sex thing. She couldn't cheat on you. Because you two were never THAT kind of thing.

You said this new guy treats her right. Okay. So you should be happy about this. Yeah, so she might have been more upfront with you. Is it possible she sensed that you two were growing apart? I mean, with the move and everything, you can't really expect her to wait around. Especially since she has never really been exclusive to you. Not even from the beggining.

Besides, like I said. You were moving on. You were going to call the whole thing off? So what's the problem?

Take the memories you have and move on. Stay friends if you can. If you can't, part on good terms and wish her the best in life, gain some good karma and worry about building up a relationship with your exwife.


Maybe have a talk with your friend, the new guy. Tell him what he's getting into. And that he should do his best to either persuade this chick to leave her fiance, or take a walk before he gets in over his head.

 

[Donkey Boy]

Also, when I was with her I'm pretty sure I was the only guy fucking her since she was so tight

Dude. Seriously? LMFAO

 

[Friday on my mind]

Maybe you can turn this into something profitable.I think this sounds tailor made for "The Jerry Springer show".

 

[raychik]

You were already moving on.

You said this new guy treats her right. Okay. So you should be happy about this. Yeah, so she might have been more upfront with you. Is it possible she sensed that you two were growing apart? I mean, with the move and everything, you can't really expect her to wait around. Especially since she has never really been exclusive to you. Not even from the beggining.

Take the memories you have and move on. Stay friends if you can. If you can't, part on good terms and wish her the best in life, gain some good karma and worry about building up a relationship with your exwife.

I guess I did stop calling her and visiting as much since the new job consumed most of my time and she'd rather be with someone that lives in the same state (same city) than someone that lives 3,000 miles away. Just sad because she burst out into tears the first time we had sex, told me that I made her consider having kids again (she has 2 with an ex-husband...not the fiance) and just the little things. It's just fucking with my head that someone could be like that just for cock...I thought she really cared about me.

 

[raychik]

Dude. Seriously? LMFAO

Ok...fine...I admit that was stupid reasoning on my part. lol

 

[jasonk282]

I guess I did stop calling her and visiting as much since the new job consumed most of my time and she'd rather be with someone that lives in the same state (same city) than someone that lives 3,000 miles away. Just sad because she burst out into tears the first time we had sex, told me that I made her consider having kids again (she has 2 with an ex-husband...not the fiance) and just the little things. It's just fucking with my head that someone could be like that just for cock...I thought she really cared about me.

Well now you know how 90% of women feel out there when you fuck them and don't call them again. So she was married once, got divorced, then got engaged, was fucking you, her fiance and another dude? you need to get some tests done ASAP.

 

[raychik]

Well now you know how 90% of women feel out there when you fuck them and don't call them again. So she was married once, got divorced, then got engaged, was fucking you, her fiance and another dude? you need to get some tests done ASAP.

Geez, when you put it like that it sounds bad...lol