Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
I do take my honorary title quite seriously.
Deal Breakers for Porn Stars (question for OSCMs)
- Thread starter Mason Popoff
- Start date
JaanaRuutu
Official Checked Star Member
man, all of the good threads happen when I'm sleeping.
Deal breaker? probably being called a slut by a guy in his 30s who thought a message board full of chronic masturbaters and a handful of porn stars and cam girls would be able to give him solid career advice.
Deal breaker? probably being called a slut by a guy in his 30s who thought a message board full of chronic masturbaters and a handful of porn stars and cam girls would be able to give him solid career advice.
rivasky
the special one
Sorry, mate! As a twelve year-old you can't become a porn star.
I don't care anymore. I have all the advice I need. I don't take myself too seriously. I'm just trying to amuse myself. And the only reasons I'm taking so long to get into porn is because I need to find a girl who wants to do it, plus I'm gonna swing first to get practice.
I like your avatar Petra. "Great minds think alike."
I like your avatar Petra. "Great minds think alike."
You must be outsourcing that advice because you came with little and were given even less.
You want to swing to get practice? Your deluding yourself if you think that sleeping around like man whore will give you any form of experience that will be useable in a porn set environment.
(P.S Good luck getting that medical health certificate)
You haven't found a girl who wants to do it - You do realise they supply the girl for you?
vodkazvictim
Why save the world, when you can rule it?
:yummie:
:drool1:
I'll work with you, how do you feel about anilingus and reyeye?
Why are you so venemous?
I do not suffer fools gladly.
How would you know how much advice I came with? I've read books and DVDs on the subject. You can get the health certificate from aims. I know that it's next to impossible for I guy to get into porn. I also know that if a girl who is really hot (like Nikki Hunter-hot) says that you're her boyfriend and she will only work with you then they have to take ya if they want that girl who's gonna make them money. Many guys have got into porn like this. I also know that sometimes the sex is awkward because the director tells ya to change positions just when it starts to feel good. I know that you have "open up" to see the penetration. I know that you have to maneuver around the camera that's up in your face and c-lamps and sometimes you have to stop and wait for the camera man and have sex in front of people. Going to sex parties will help me get used to having sex in front of people. It will also help me to learn how to maintain control. Better to fuck up there then on a porn set where I won't get another chance. I would much rather have awkward sex with the hottest babes on the planet then any other job. I'm also an aspiring pickup artist. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday I use what I've learned from books to approach hot babes. I also excersise my penis to make it bigger and harder. It's made of smooth muscle like your arteries. I also workout the rest of my body, which boosts testosterone, thus making it easier to get horny and in my experience this is true. I have books about eating pussy. I know what I'm doin'. Perhaps I should be more careful with my ego. I just like to be cocky. I figure It'll give me an edge and heighten sexual tension. I know there are guys like this in the business and some producers hire those guys because they wanna do a rough film. And that's my favorite kina porn and that's the kinda porn star I wanna be. I'm also gonna try and seduce porn stars at strip clubs. That's another way to get in that I know has worked. Look at Spider Jonez and Tera Patrick. I'm not attached to this. If it doesn't work out I'm not gonna look at it like my life is over. I can still be a player and a swinger. I'm just enjoying the process.
Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Wait, there are books and DVDs on how to be a more professional fluffer?
Anyway, thanks. I do appreciate the feedback...fuckin' whores. Heh, heh.
Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Oh.MY.Cow. I accidentally gave this junior patrolman positive reputation. I gotta stop doling out the rep when I'm getting ready for work. I just don't pay as much attention.
There are just so many things I wanna comment on this, but my favourite is probably "I have books about eating pussy", this really made me laugh.
Sex is not something you learn from reading a book, by the way this wasn't the book you read?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/19/above-the-game-kickstarter-tofutofu_n_3466538.html
And the chatting up pornstars part, hilarious, you are approaching this very much with a foot in mouth, tongue in cheek, head up arse approach.
Experience is the best teacher but a little guidance from experts certainly helps. Now you're either tryin' to save face or you really do have rocks in your head. Your sayin' these things could never work for me when they've worked for others before me. You lost this debate. We all gotta lose sometimes. Suck it up.
I may be an asshole but I'm an asshole who knows what he's talkin' about. Respect.
:rofl2:
Your whole argument seems to be "I'm the best fuck in the world in theory." Well, your attitude (which seems to have as much to do with a talent's ability to look good fucking or the size of their cock in terms of making it in the biz) suggests you'll never make it. Without even touching on your interaction with the other male posters, you've managed to illicit a grand total of three responses from the very people you've come here looking for advice from, and because of how your attitude came off, all three of them have essentially told you to do one. Oh, incidentally, your plan to "seduce porn stars at strip clubs?" Great idea. Porn stars never get hit on by needledick minute-men who think they've got their eye in at a public appearance. Now, I'm not saying you are a needledick minute-man - I mean, you have read a lot of books on how to fuck - but they're going to assume you are. But give a shot anyway.
P.S. Do one.
impdaddyLost what debate?
Contrary to the scene from American Pie with the sex book hidden under the library floor boards, there is no holy grail of sexual advice. What works for one woman is not guaranteed to work on another and those who assume so are in for a disappointing night ahead. Most books like this are regurgitated nonsense, spelling out in simplistic sentences what is typically called "common sense".
So called experts are self labelled, egotistical meat heads. Anyone with patience, imagination, a healthy interest in pornography can become a very skilled sexual partner. Expert implies you will get it right every time, no such thing.
"I may be an asshole but I'm an asshole who knows what he's talkin' about."
You're half right at least.
You could have stopped there. How is this guy gaining positive rep? I know someone did one by accident, but are people seriously enjoying his posts?
ApolloBalboa
Was King of the Board for a Day
You are an asshole, in every sense of the word. Has it occurred to you that most of what you've learned from books (how to pick up girls, exercise your penis, eating pussy, etc.) is nothing more than a attempt at money grabbing from people who know people like you will buy any book that you figure will help you land more girls or a porn career?
Go ahead though, keep tooting your own horn about how suited you are for this industry, with your metalhead hair, your encyclopedic knowledge of a woman's vagina, your workouts for your penis and the rest of your body, and how good you are at picking up girls. Porn stars are almost never seduced by men who want to hook up with them, and I'm sure that while they may ignore other mens' advances, you've apparently got so much going for you that they'll be lining up to work with you.
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