Chuck Norris

[JizzHack]

Sorry Fellas gotta do this

1. When in Jack Bauer's presence, Chuck Norris urinates sitting down

2. Jack Bauer's nickname for Chuck Norris is "Aloysius Q. Vagina-Muffin".

3. Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces

4. Jack Bauer named his cat Chuck Norris because it is a pussy

5. Chuck Norris has wet dreams about Jack Bauer

6. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Jack Bauer makes Chuck Norris cry so that his tears will cure cancer. No one else can make Chuck Norris cry

And This cuz it makes me Laugh

Jack Bauer doesn't wash his clothes. He tortures them until they're clean

 

[Civickiller80]

He has counted to infinity....TWICE!

 

[Civickiller80]

In honour of his birthday here is Chuck Norris reading a List of the top Ten Chuck Norris facts on the best damn sports show

http://gorillamask.net/cnbest.shtml

 

[juballs]

its his birthday! so hes like 25! excellent... by the way thos past 3 links were friggin wicked.

 

[member2686]

Chuck Norris built the Taj Mahal, and he did it in 1 hour - blindfolded and with one hand tied behind his back while BNF was throwing 100-pound barbells at him using 2 fingers to throw them.

True story.

:nanner:

 

[degenerate_Jeb]

God & Chuck Norris used to be drinking buddies until God remarked that he had the better beard...needless to saw the remark was met with a roundhouse kick to the face...hence the big bang!!!

 

[noguerol]

27. One day chuck norris looked in the mirror and said "no one outstares chuck!". He is still there to this day :rofl:

 

[King_Fritter]

Ah yes Chuck Norris was one of my childhood heros. I remember this little chestnut from Invasion U.S.A. "Rostov... you're going to sleep tonight... but when you wake up, it's going to be time to die..." I think as a child I wanted to grow up to be Chuck Norris or Hank Williams Jr. Oh yeah and Robocop.

 

[Civickiller80]

Thought number 3 was funny on this list

http://leenks.com/link43450.htm

 

[D-rock]

I don't know if this is new but I heard that Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

[4G63]

Chuck Norris's semem is used to put out fires at the airport.

 

[Ace Bandage]

If Chuck Norris has 5 dollars and you have 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

 

[STDiva]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he does Earth downs.

It took 427 special effects engineers and 31 make up artists to make it look like Chuck Norris lost to Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon.

The second Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the nurse. At that point in his life she was the 3rd woman he had slept with.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris counted to infinite. Twice.

Chuck Norris once uppercutted a horse. We know them now as Giraffes.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power Australia for 44 minutes.

For some, one testicle is larger than the other. For Chuck Norris, EACH testicle is larger than the other.

 

[thenewelric]

Chuck Norris once uppercutted a horse. We know them now as Giraffes.

Lol