PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
Because Dirk isn't an actual Canadian, allow me to properly fill you in.
Fact or fiction:
-Milk sold in plastic bags in Canada
--True, but only in the East. Out here in the civilized West milk bags are as rare of a sight as Stanley Cup victories.
-Most of the population speaks French
--False, unless you consider "squinted eye mumbling" as French.
-They have the Chocolate Museum
--False, we don't have THE Chocolate Museum.
-Werewolfes are a common sight
--Half Truth, you're likely thinking of Manitobans, who are hairy, but lost the power to shapeshift during the Red River Rebellions.
-Canada's official flag was in the old days the English flag
--Half Truth, our flag was never the English flag; it was the flag of the United Kingdom early in our history. This point shows ignorance of two countries. Forshame.
-People do not close the doors of homes for the night
--True, because every Canadian lost their front door in the great Beaver Incident of 1903.
-They drink Vodka
--False, confusing us with Russia...
-Polar Bears can be seen in streets during the winter
--True, because they need to go somewhere when there is no Arctic ice.
-Canada offer asylum to Bill Clinton in the 1960s
--False, although if we did it is your loss, America.
-They are very patriotic
--True, considering it is literally impossible to define the word "Canadian" without the phrase "not American."
-They do not like to appear low in clothes
--What?
-Canada's National Animal is the Beaver
--True, although there is a movement to change the national animal to the polar bear. A seemingly smart idea until you realize you're trading one sexual innuendo for another, much more disturbing sexual innuendo.
-They are very rich
--False, the entire country celebrated cause we could afford a new hockey team. In Atlanta, they don't even care. In Winnipeg, they're still cleaning all the jizz off of the windows.
-They are not like Americans
--Half True, we're Americans when they are cleaner, better looking, healthier, nicer dressed, smarter and can hold their liquor better. Other than that, we're pretty much the same.
-Canadian women are beautiful and shy
--Spexy
Fact or fiction:
-Milk sold in plastic bags in Canada
--True, but only in the East. Out here in the civilized West milk bags are as rare of a sight as Stanley Cup victories.
-Most of the population speaks French
--False, unless you consider "squinted eye mumbling" as French.
-They have the Chocolate Museum
--False, we don't have THE Chocolate Museum.
-Werewolfes are a common sight
--Half Truth, you're likely thinking of Manitobans, who are hairy, but lost the power to shapeshift during the Red River Rebellions.
-Canada's official flag was in the old days the English flag
--Half Truth, our flag was never the English flag; it was the flag of the United Kingdom early in our history. This point shows ignorance of two countries. Forshame.
-People do not close the doors of homes for the night
--True, because every Canadian lost their front door in the great Beaver Incident of 1903.
-They drink Vodka
--False, confusing us with Russia...
-Polar Bears can be seen in streets during the winter
--True, because they need to go somewhere when there is no Arctic ice.
-Canada offer asylum to Bill Clinton in the 1960s
--False, although if we did it is your loss, America.
-They are very patriotic
--True, considering it is literally impossible to define the word "Canadian" without the phrase "not American."
-They do not like to appear low in clothes
--What?
-Canada's National Animal is the Beaver
--True, although there is a movement to change the national animal to the polar bear. A seemingly smart idea until you realize you're trading one sexual innuendo for another, much more disturbing sexual innuendo.
-They are very rich
--False, the entire country celebrated cause we could afford a new hockey team. In Atlanta, they don't even care. In Winnipeg, they're still cleaning all the jizz off of the windows.
-They are not like Americans
--Half True, we're Americans when they are cleaner, better looking, healthier, nicer dressed, smarter and can hold their liquor better. Other than that, we're pretty much the same.
-Canadian women are beautiful and shy
--Spexy
