Blew a 0.32 Last Week

[Torre82]

That's exactly the way it was before. And I really believe it can be that way again - maybe not. Like you said, if you start feeling sick and shit and you start going out of your way to polute your body, then it's a problem.

I need to go watch Taxi Driver. That'll get me in the spirit.

I'll drink to that!... except I still need to rehydrate. Check me late tonight or tomorrow! lolol

 

[Facetious]

Although it's not a fair trade and I wish that it could be me instead.

At this moment you might, tomorrow, not likely.

 

[calpoon]

I'm not saying that I want to die, I'm just saying that it sucks that people have to go through the pain of loss and a lot of good people die for stupid reasons and they deserve a second chance. Of course there's nothing that can be done about it.

 

[E-Ann-Hilden]

Stay clean and smart, you know the drill...

Best Wishes!

 

[Facetious]

Cav - I recall you mentioning that there aren't very many job opportunities where you are (prolly due to all of the "free market globalism" and illegal aliens.

This would certainly cause me to become rambunctious !

 

[Facetious]

edit

 

[ninetysixcavy]

Cav - I recall you mentioning that there aren't very many job opportunities where you are (prolly due to all of the "free market globalism" and illegal aliens.

This would certainly cause me to become rambunctious !

It doesn't help matters. Of course, I can't blame everything on that, but that has been a thorn in my side - a lot of other things too. The main thing is I get to resume my education and take it from there.

I'm still wondering how bad a 0.32 is. :dunno: I've drank longer and harder on other occasions before, too many times to admit to. I just remember that first night in the ER; they had me in a holding area because "the boys" brought me in. There was this Native girl that came in raising all hell. I looked out of my room and she was restrained in her cot, screaming and hollering.

Keep in mind this is a big inner-city hospital - lots of individuals coming in on all sorts of stuff. All I remember was James Taylor's Fire and Rain repeating over and over again in my head that night. Great song but we all know what that song is about...

The moral of the story here is moderation. I know a lot of Scandinavians, Irish, Blacks, Natives, Asians and other that don't consume like I do. For whatever reason. I still don't believe you are born with it, but that it's a choice. On the contrary, AA would say otherwise. :dunno:

 

[ninetysixcavy]

I am embarassed to admit this to you because I know where you most likely stand on this. Kind of crazy because I come from a pretty *gasp* spiritual family and neither of my folks drink, or at least they haven't in probably 30 years. I was exposed to this stuff with a pretty bad crowd of kids growing up. I can still vividly remember the first night I got drunk, the amount of beers (6 Hamms) I drank, the house where I threw up at...all of it. That was years ago...

 

[Facetious]

Two things that I learned along the way and after ''calling it quits'' was that , you have to feel at peace when being alone. It was just a transition that was important to make, being secure and at ease with yourself. I found that I had to learn to be secure, calm, tranquil and sober when being alone, otherwise it wouldn't have been possible for me to stop. I recall the feeling(s) of having to "be out there" partying "like everyone else" or else my life would ''pass me by''. They're only false feelings that must be overcome, and when you do, you'll actually enjoy your time without company.
You have to sort out a lot of things all by yourself no matter what some counselor says.
If you personally account for and review the things that you believe need to change, maybe once in the AM and again at night, before long it doesn't seem to be as humongous of an accomplishment. At first, it can be almost terrifying.

The second thing is that you have to expel the idea that every social gathering must include alcohol and or drugs. This was most difficult for me and I failed two or three times in a three month stretch. Finally I just got pissed at the whole situation and realized that the only route to true freedom was to get rid of the junk in my life. I also actually began to perceive that I was a disappointment to others around me
(imagine that !!) ie - family members etc., this had to change !

All the best Chief :hatsoff:

Keep us posted

 

[ninetysixcavy]

Two things that I learned along the way and after ''calling it quits'' was that , you have to feel at peace when being alone. It was just a transition that was important to make, being secure and at ease with yourself. I found that I had to learn to be secure, calm, tranquil and sober when being alone, otherwise it wouldn't have been possible for me to stop. I recall the feeling(s) of having to "be out there" partying "like everyone else" or else my life would ''pass me by''. They're only false feelings that must be overcome, and when you do, you'll actually enjoy your time without company.
You have to sort out a lot of things all by yourself no matter what some counselor says.
If you personally account for and review the things that you believe need to change, maybe once in the AM and again at night, before long it doesn't seem to be as humongous of an accomplishment. At first, it can be almost terrifying.

The second thing is that you have to expel the idea that every social gathering must include alcohol and or drugs. This was most difficult for me and I failed two or three times in a three month stretch. Finally I just got pissed at the whole situation and realized that the only route to true freedom was to get rid of the junk in my life. I also actually began to perceive that I was a disappointment to others around me
(imagine that !!) ie - family members etc., this had to change !

All the best Chief :hatsoff:

Keep us posted

I feel like I'm at AA already. :hatsoff:


Experience is the best teacher, but it costs the most.

 

[Facetious]

AA was to weird for me.

I could have done it without them, I just had to demonstrate (to my supporters) that I was "doing something".

:tongue:

 

[ninetysixcavy]

AA was to weird for me.

I could have done it without them, I just had to demonstrate (to my supporters) that I was "doing something".

:tongue:

I wasn't too comfortable in AA either, the several times or so that I had been there. It did kind of make sense though: They tell you what they did wrong and you (are supposed to) learn from it. :dunno:

 

[Theopolis Q. Hossenffer]

Good luck to you in rehab. I used to drink a bit in my youth and that was before rehab existed as we know it today. It was called "Drying out" and mostly was spent in a "Drunk Tank" at the local jail. Take advantage of a chance to learn to control body compulsions.
As a still too fat guy(at one time 350 lbs) and now at 220, I know a little of where you are at.

 

[Member2019]

Reality ...

Just my girl. It's been rough between us lately, and with a lot of other shit.

Well, I've never drank in my life, so I don't know what to tell you there.

From my viewpoint, I really don't like to run away or forget my problems. Trust me, I've had some really shitty ones in my time, and others have had far worse, but they deal with it. Maybe it's because of my whole philosophy on life, but the reality is, I not only want to never do a single thing that is irresponsible in my life, but I want to face facts and take things head-on when I have to. I think that's why I've never, ever hit the bottle, and never wanted to. I like being in control of my life, even if it hurts really bad sometimes.

Heck, I've had surgery a few times and have always turned down the drugs other than the anaesthesia at the time of the surgery, and Motrin (prescription-strength ibruprofen, basically 4 pills every 6 hours, instead of the over-the-counter 2) afterwards. In one case, the local anaesthesia wasn't given correctly (they didn't realize how deep something was), the local doc offered to stop and have me come back when he could give more again. I said "get it done" and took on almost another full inch of cutting for another 15 minutes. It was my shoulder, so my ear was only a few inches away from my flesh being cut as I felt all the intensity of it. I guess after that, when I was age 12, I realized no fear and no pain was too great to face directly.

Again, there are people who are in far worse pain than that in their lives, and they manage to deal with it without the bottle.

They cuffed me and threw my ass in the ER where it was a real bitch because the people apparently think you are sub-human if you come in in that state.

Yes. One time, I was in the ER and saw such. The nurse was extremely rude to him. I didn't understand.

Then the nurse explained what they deal with every night, with all the suffering someone goes through over an accident and often never due to any irresponsibility of the person who got hurt. Or even if it was irresponsibility or negligence, it wasn't intentional, and the results far more severe than they should have been. Yet they aren't screaming out of pain many times, and "just deal with it."

But they always get a few in that are inebriated to the point of like you were. They sit there, suffer, and everyone knows it. You see, the nurse had to stop me from showing compassion. Why? Because other people in that ER room deserved far more, especially those that weren't making the most noise, who weren't there because they had done it to themselves, intentionally.

That's why they don't like such, and after the nurse explained it to me, it make a hell of a lot of sense. It's not that they don't have compassion, but they have far more to give to other people. And they don't like it when people like myself instantly show time and compassion to someone that really doesn't deserve it compared to the others around them. Especially when they're making the most noise and disturbing everyone.

I'm not proud of anything, but life is hard some times. Now I will clean up and move on only to be a real positive influence in the community. Life continues on...

This is going to be harsh, but I'm not sure I can believe you on that latter point. You preceded it with the phrase, "but life is hard some times." Life is never hard enough to do something like this. If you keep making that mistake, you'll keep making the judgement to escape it in the same way.

Sorry to be rude, but I'm really trying to push reality here. Not to say I'm better than you, or anyone else for that matter, but in the hope you realize why you make the mistake over and over again.

 

[ninetysixcavy]

Re: Reality ...

This is going to be harsh, but I'm not sure I can believe you on that latter point. You preceded it with the phrase, "but life is hard some times." Life is never hard enough to do something like this. If you keep making that mistake, you'll keep making the judgement to escape it in the same way.

Sorry to be rude, but I'm really trying to push reality here. Not to say I'm better than you, or anyone else for that matter, but in the hope you realize why you make the mistake over and over again.

You Might be right. You are probably wrong. No one can see internally into my soul; what I've been through; what I'm capable of, etc. Only I can. I know what I'm capable of when I put my mind to something. I also know there's a thin line between that and a bottle (w/no moderation). I'd like to say that it could only get better, but it can always get worse - parents getting older now and I have never experienced a significant loved one passing before my eyes, that I was really close to, for example. Could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. :dunno:

 

[ninetysixcavy]

Another thing about addictions, Professor, is that they come in all walks of life: There are food addicts (obese), drug addicts (meth-heads, crack-heads, pot-heads...you name it, take your pick), workaholics, porn junkies - just look at this board. It goes on and on and on. Just because I've had a problem with poison in the past I am any less of a man? Nobody's imune to life and it's chalenges, and we all deal with them in different ways. I have some positive thing to fall back on because I am athletic and I am astute. It's not like I'm some uncoordinated nerd who has the IQ of a peanut (I'm far from a genius, but at least I read the paper everyday. At least I have an Associate's ). There are a lot of people that don't have anything that is of any worth.

 

[ninetysixcavy]

Okay. It's been almost a month now since leaving that dump and I haven't had a drop. Aside from reading the AA book for the last week or so, no rehab whatsoever. Is this the behavior of a true alcoholic? According to the AA book I may fit the description of a 'hard drinker.' I don't know, but I have about 3 liquor stores in close proximety and I just don't have the urge to go get wasted. :dunno:

 

[LBP 76]

You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You're not married, no kids and the cops pulled you over in your kitchen. It's your life to do with as you please, even if it's doing dumb things like drinking potentially lethal amounts of alcohol, lol.
As for escapes. Everyone does it. Everyone. It maybe booze, porn or stamp collecting. They are all escapes.
Forget AA. It's designed to recruit the desperate into the church. And rehab only works for weak minded people; and you don't sound weak minded.

Sounds to me like your life sucked, you escaped the easiest way you knew and you went too far. And now you know better.

If you don't do it again, then it's a great story. I wouldn't worry about drinking again. As long as you remember what you did and don't go nuts again. But if you DO go nuts again (or close to it), then you DO have a serious problem and should then consider yourself an alcoholic.

But you sound on top of it to me. Hope things work out for you.

 

[Member2019]

Just because I've had a problem with poison in the past I am any less of a man?

Nope. Just learn from it and get away from repeating it. That's all. If you do that, you're quite the opposite.

Nobody's imune to life and it's chalenges, and we all deal with them in different ways.

Self-destructive ones are not good, although you were smart enough not to drive, that's 100x better than others.
I was just pointing out why the nurses at the hospital don't like you, that's all.