I was on the crapper, reading one of my brother's crappy video game magazines, and some guy in Duluth wrote into the Readers section, and he swears that Nintendo is coming out with a new platform game where you play Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz, and you have to fight your way through waves of evil directors, pedophiles, and pharmacists, on your way to the Emerald City. It's a lot like Mario, except you're a girl, and instead of magic coins, you collect fan magazine clippings.