my ex s/o ended things almost 7 months ago. it was not a friendly breakup and we found out that each others family and friends hated the other. we were both abusive to each other physically verbally emotionally mentally thru the whole time. we have not spoken in 7 months no calls-she changed her phone number but i haven't mine-no emails, no letters nothing. i though i was over her but just got a email reminder that i had set up last year for her birthday-i set that up last year so i would not forget and it made me start thinking about her again and remembering the good times. i want to send her a happy birthday/apology email telling her all the positive changes that i have made these pass 7 months, explain to her that i am not obsessed with her-i starting thinking about her because of the reminder i set last year and i will tell her that and that i am no longer a loser-i have a good job now, almost finished school, been going to counseling and anger managment, etc . i think she is with someone new now but i will try anyway. is this a good idea?
apology email a good idea?
- Thread starter confused1
- Start date
I wouldn't do it. If you say that it wasn't a friendly breakup then there's no point in beating a dead horse. If anything, just send her a happy birthday e-mail and say that you wish the best for her, but don't expect a reply.
No it is not a good idea, and your counselor told you it was not a good idea.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
It's a fucking terrible idea. Why would you want to patch things up with someone who was verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive to you; someone whom you did the same exact thing to? :dunno:
Plus, if you had to be REMINDED of her birthday, you obviously didn't care about her that much. That is rule #2 in the hypothetical "Relationship Handbook"...
Rule #1 - Don't cheat on her
Rule #2 - Don't forget her birthday or your anniversary
i'm just horrible with dates and stuff. i messed things up from the get by lying to her about pretty much everything and when i pretty much had to fess up thats when things turned sour. i accept a lot of her faults since she stayed with me despite all that crap.
I would advise against it, the relationship obviously didnt work so there is no point holding on a hoping that it might work again.
Move on.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
The harm is that you two kids get back together and end up going through the same shit again. Then, you're back to where you are right now. So, just skip that step and move on with your life.
i even doubt we have any chance to get back together. i did and said lots of horrible shit to her after it ended which i regret now and she said that she could never forgive me for saying to her. i think me not contacting her for all these months shows control on my part and i figured to do this as a last ditch effort and i really had not thought about her for a long time that f'ing reminder email got me
Absolutely not. There can be no closure, no patching-up.. no to pretty much any good outcome. Move on.
Wanna know the best way to get over a bad breakup/firing/bad day?
One bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
Wanna know the best way to get over a bad breakup/firing/bad day?
One bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
meesterperfect
Hiliary 2020
the op seems very sincere.
My sincere opinion, what the hell, send her a happy birthday, hope all is well .
thats it. happy birthday, hope all iis well. period.
but like gunslinger said, don't expect a response.
if you get your hopes up that by sending her a hapy birthday message that maybe you will reconcile, youre only setting yourself up for mental torture.
reality is if she's made no effort to contact you for 7 months she's probably moved on.......
My sincere opinion, what the hell, send her a happy birthday, hope all is well .
thats it. happy birthday, hope all iis well. period.
but like gunslinger said, don't expect a response.
if you get your hopes up that by sending her a hapy birthday message that maybe you will reconcile, youre only setting yourself up for mental torture.
reality is if she's made no effort to contact you for 7 months she's probably moved on.......
I'd avoid any desperation emails trying to get her to come back. Your still going to have problems with all the other people associated with the relationship. Let her make the first move, though from what you described I think finding another gal would be a worthy goal.
Ever since getting that email reminder i started thinking about all the good times and i really miss her now.
she probably has moved on but like i said, worst case she doesn't respond. i'm going to do it expecting no reply so if i do get a reply i will be happy.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
You'll be happy just for getting a reply? What if her reply is "QUIT E-MAILING ME, I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!"...:dunno:
Then you'll feel even worse, all because you're not looking at the obvious fact that nothing good will come out of this if you e-mail her.
i'd even take that at least then i'd have closure.
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