500 things we've learned from porn

[PlasmaTwa2]

48. If you walk up to a woman tanning naked in her backyard, she will have sex with you and not call the cops.
49. If you leave your friend in the garage, and there is a woman in house, when you come back they will be having sex.
50. It is completely normal to squirt everywhere while having sex.

 

[maildude]

47. Women never had sex in the '70s without wearing a scarf around their neck.

Saaawissshh!!!! :1orglaugh

 

[The Paulinator]

51. Never ever watch porn with a video projector...until the future brings us some talented ass-makeup artists:throwup:

 

[knowone]

Saaawissshh!!!! :1orglaugh

Thank you. I figured there were a few on the forum who would understand it. ;-)

 

[Red Spyder]

52. Size really does matter

 

[ArabJames]

53. If you are at all talking about sex problems, an attractive woman will hear you and fix it

 

[oeoeoeoe]

11.) Women actually enjoy giving head.
12.) You should always cum on a girl's face.
13.) All men have huge cocks.
14.) DP is not gay, even though it kind of looks like it.
15.) People do some pretty fucked up shit with each other with cameras on them.

To be honest, I'm always surprised to hear this. 3/4 women that have given me head really enjoyed what they were doing. Maybe I should have started another thread about this, but is this really not the case with most women? (I know, I know the response I'll get: "why is the woman smiling when she walks down the aisle?")

Anyway, since I'm taking up space in this thread, I'll come up with 5 thing's I've learned soon.

 

[oeoeoeoe]

54. You can be a nice guy and get laid.
55. You can be an asshole and get laid. (I know this one is true in real life, but I believe I learned it from porn)
56. It's not disgusting for a woman to take on two men at the same time.
57. If you go under a car to fix something with the lower half your body sticking out from under the car, a woman will start blowing you.
58. Women always get turned on by seeing a man jerk off, and are more than willing to help out.
59. Incest is ok as long as when you ask your aunt "What's going on?" she responds with "You're getting your cock sucked, kid." (Anybody?)

 

[oeoeoeoe]

wut



21. Nurses/Doctors always fuck their badly injured patients.
22. If a guy cant please his wife, he will hire a black man to do it for him.
23. Women like being called bitch and slut while they "take that dick".
24. When a woman orders pizza, she will always answer the door looking smoking hot, and will always fuck the delivery guy.
25. You can drive by, offer a woman money, and she will fuck you in your van. Works 100% of the time.

I hate to say it, but this too in real life...even though I find it strange to say stuff like this out loud, they really seem to enjoy it

 

[Nester6]

The best looking women in the world are hot fuckers.
Men in porn can fuck for hours without cumming!
Women smile at you after swallowing your cumshot!
None of these actors are tired from work or stressed out from kids fucking up their house or doing hours of homework. They are never tired enough not to fuck and suck!
God let porn live forever!

 

[Nester6]

It's better to stay in on Sunday and fuck and suck or watch porn, than to go to fucking church, pray (wishful thinking) and get nothing in return!

 

[D-rock]

61: Despite the fact every other person on the planet despises it, the producers of porn must have some fetish with the appearance of the man's face a moment before he starts ejaculating.

62: Women have a irresistible urge to be interviewed in front of the camera and tell how they like sex and that's why they are in porn.

63: No matter how much of an airhead a woman is they can seem to get a job as a doctor, secretary, or even a senator.

64: Woman are considered old or a MILF at about the age of 24.

65: Women can still be considered a teen even over the age of 25.

66: The camera man's main job is apparently not to capture the action as good as possible. It's to provide irritating commentary while shooting to piss off the viewers.

67: Woman often start out in a bikini or lingerie even if it doesn't make any sense.

68: By the way porn portrays it black men are some kind of weird sub-species that just want to ravage white women with there oversized cocks instead of being normal like everybody else.

69. Apparently the biggest qualification for becoming a male talent in porn after roughly the year 2000 is to be a bald douche bag skinhead twink, often with tattoos, that a real man would probably laugh at and then kick the shit out of.

 

[jamrak]

68: By the way porn portrays it black men are some kind of weird sub-species that just want to ravage white women with there oversized cocks instead of being normal like everybody else.

:1orglaugh
as far as I know, most of the men of any race want the same: to ravage women with oversized cocks! even if their cocks are not that big at all, the dream is still the same (to increase size, and than do it... like a truck).
so it is not just a porn... it is reality

 

[D-rock]

:1orglaugh
as far as I know, most of the men of any race want the same: to ravage women with oversized cocks! even if their cocks are not that big at all, the dream is still the same (to increase size, and than do it... like a truck).
so it is not just a porn... it is reality

It's more than just men wanting to have sex with women. Porn makes a joke out of interracial stuff. I'm not black, but I find it insulting as a human being the way they potray it.

 

[jamrak]

hm, I am not black too, and it is hard to imagine what do they think about it... but I do not see any reasons to be insulted: is hyper sexuality an offense? many men only dream to be such like 'happy fuckers' with big dicks, and I guess that it got to be flattering for black guys to be an instance for that stereotype. Hardly anyone will suffer from it :dunno:

btw, according to this theory, asian men must be proud from the fact that they almost do not exist in the porn. Cuz in opposite to "offended" black guys, it must mean that asians are not just cocksmen species, but intelligent, clever and sophisticated human beings?
But I think that asian guys are exactly those who are really insulted by porn industry.

 

[hedonis]

70. Even while a woman is on her knees, giving one hell of a blow job with her artificially inflated lips, the man must constantly remind her to "Suck it..."
71. Asian men don't exist
72. There's nothing a woman loves more than having some ex-con with a receding hair line pull her asshole open like he's looking for treasure, and then spit in the hole.
73. The colon and rectum are the cleanest places in the body
74. There's nothing as sensual, romantic, or moving as choking, insulting, humiliating, or just plain slapping the shit out of your gal
75. makeup doesn't come off while having sex
76. Every female locker room is subject to an all girl orgy of 5 to 25 participants
77. No one gets pregnant, ever.
78. Men will always announce when cumming is imminent, and will make zombie noises the whole time they are cumming
79. We've learned that some fans are never satisfied until all women in the biz do anal
80. Sex is less fun to watch when there's a plot involved.


H

 

[ajitpd]

81. STDs don't exist.

 

[The Paulinator]

82. Whip it out in front of a beautiful woman and she will want it. Inside her. Somewhere.
83. All women enjoy anal with someone they have barely spoken 5 words to (condomless, natch)
84. If her husband/his wife walks in they will join in without a second thought.
85. Foreplay is not defined as "20 minutes of begging"
86. Afterplay is not defined as "20 minutes of apologising"

 

[José_3]

87. Porn chicks who swallow cum, score more points.
88. Swallowing multiple cumshots scores even more points.

NB: I guess they get paid more for each cumshot they swallow.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

89. No matter what year it takes place, women have always had implants.
90. Men will always leave their attractive girlfriends for a cheap fuck.