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Seriously, though. If there isn't a more perfect metaphor for the way the rest of the country sees either New York or Alabama, I have yet to see it.

ALL ABOARD THE **** TRAIN TO THE CRAP SWAMP! Cotdamn, I have always wanted to write that exact sentence.

She was a kind woman. May her memory be a blessing.

By that logic Emmanuel Macron should've been blown out in his campaign. That guy is as charismatic as a fuzzy avocado.

She looks like Tom Petty's lesbian aunt.

And then eight years of Pence!

I use the super secret Illuminati handshake when going to a nicer restaurant. They know to get me the best table available without waiting like the rest of you chumps. And then when the check arrives I pull out my Illuminati membership card and the entire meal gets comped. Fucking magical.

Welcome back, commander Potatoe. You've really mastered the art of cut and shitpost.

Wow, commander. You didn't make the cut for AHOTY or even the really, real trolls of freeones talk this year. That is a rarity.

Fuck. So long, Gunny. We hardly knew ye.

Leave it to Will to **** all over his memory in less than a day. Schmuck.

My daily Zeeb was a little...........mushy today. It was like trying to get peanut butter out of shag carpeting.

Look up my glorious thread about porn found in the woods.

He was 72. Although I never met him in person, I felt that I knew him. His mellow voice and disdain for the Clintons made the 1990s almost tolerable for me. He'd go of on weird tangents and embraced some really shitty conspiracy theories, but he presented some of the craziest stuff without...

Some context would be nice. Maybe a link to said trolling or quotes. Quotes would be good.

"Andre The Guant," an HBO documentary.

Better than getting friction burns on the 'ol schmekel, though.

President Trump needs to fire Rosenstein, Mueller and Jeff Sessions. Yesterday. This isn't soviet Russia where you point out a man and find a crime. The scope of the initial investigation was supposedly to find collusion or some other impropriety with the Ruskies and they've come up with an...

I like how he buried the headline and tried to make every member of the NRA board seem bloodthirsty. Truly a remarkable feat. On a side note: the NRA isn't the boogeyman certain dipshits make it out to be. The NRA was founded mostly to empower freed slaves and help protect them from democrats...

I just touched it up a little with a baby wipe. I love baby wipes.

You guys should have seen the zeeb I left in the toilet. Came out like a fucking torpedo. And it was so firm that I hardly needed to wipe.

I know. I myself prefer a good, old fashioned race war over internet turd flinging any day of the week.

Still one of my favorite threads.

Sacrilege! Rlzgmr_9sPA alright. why the fuck can't i imbed youtube videos, anymore?

Just a reminder that National High Five Day is only ten days away. If you're in an important meeting with someone influential, remember that nothing impresses a wealthy dude more than a well timed high five. High five?

I guess it's better that the Irish thugs were from Ireland rather than the Irish thugs from Sweden.

I'm glad you mudderfuggers know it's all in good fun. Even Johan gets it.

I made special troll of the quarter and stuff for other shitposters like L3ggy. You're hardly safe.

I'll get the rest of the turd sniffers posted as soon as the image hosting site stops acting as crazy as Will at a tranny convention.

Yes, I'm late producing this masterpiece...again. But in all fairness my life has gotten more complicated than usual this year. There are a few familiar names appearing here, plus a few that we haven't yet roasted for their awfulness. Notably missing is Will, not that he wasn't deserving or...

I just threw up a little in my mouth. I thought I knew you, mang.

I've been out of the pool for a while, brahs. Time was, when you went a courtin' a young lady, you'd maintain a healthy respect for her space and not ask her to co-sign for anything until at least one full month and of course, her ******'s permission. Same goes for teh butt seks.

My twitter feed says there's been one death. Last year some idiot tried to set fire to the Trump hotel here. They set a fire in the public restroom and it didn't even do any real damage. And the dumbass was quickly aprehended. Despite my and many others' severe distaste for nearly everything...

^This. This right here is the crystallization of the phrase "presumption of insufficiency." If there was an entry in the Encyclopedia for that phrase, Bobble's head would be pictured next to it. Your failure to cite David Icke or the History Channel prove that. Side note: I friggin' LOVE...

My Halloween costume last year was "Slightly chubby Kylo Ren."

I know I should have done the 2018 version four months ago but stuff happens. I'll be working on this for a couple days on my time off. And it will be glorious.

I **** it when idiot teenagers march for the removal of G*d given rights in the name of safety or freedom or fascism or something and don't understand they're the ones being used by fascists.

Salt n peppa. Sometimes I'll use Pappy's seasoning rub or fresh rosemary from the garden. But I likes to keep it simple.

OR you could stuff a hunnert dollar bill in there tightly and wrap it with gauze.

The best way to ensure a win in any argument with anybody is to have $100 hanging out your zipper.

I cannot believe this gem of a thread has been alive for five years already. There's just so much great advice from the usuals that it must live on in perpetuity for future generations to admire and reflect upon. And it is the origin of the $100 as a cure all, for G*d's sake. That in itself is...

Star Wars Day is less than a month away, you Nerf herders. https://www.reddit.com/r/EmpireDidNothingWrong/

Time to ***** bump that classic, Brah.

$100 is a princely sum. My boy Blue gets it. But really.............. Also make it clear that you're okay with her getting air-tighted on the side.

Still waiting. Whose rights are being infringed? AAaaaaaaand Mueller has flat out said that President Trump is not the subject of a criminal investigation.

This is going to be Roy Halladay's year!

I would have ****** out the second I saw my own *****. You're a better man than I, Gunga Din.