Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread
Alright boys and girls, after watching a fairly mundane Penguins-Capitals alumni game.....that ended in a 5-5 tie (no OT or anything), I decided to share some bad jokes with ya for Bad Joke Friday!
Joke #1:
A little boy, half Jewish and half black, goes to his ****** and says "***, am I more Jewish, or more black?
His ****** says, "You're just you, ***. Why are you asking such a silly question?"
The little boy says "Well, one of my friends is selling his bicycle for 50 bucks, and I don't know whether to offer him 25, or just wait until dark and steal it..."
Joke #2:
Three blondes are walking down the beach. They see something and pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out. He says, you each have one wish. The 1st one says I want to be 20 times smarter. She becomes a brunette. The second one says I want to be smarter but not that much smarter. Make me 10 times smarter. She turns into a redhead. The third one says, I don't want to be any more smarter. Make me 100 times dumber.
The genie turns her into a man.
Joke #3:
Q: What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
A: Acne usually doesn't come on a ***'s face until he's at least 13 years old.
Joke #4:
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say "fuck!"?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
Joke #5:
Q: A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in 9th grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
A: The blonde, because she's at least 18.
Joke #6:
A girl goes to her ****** and says she needs a ride to cheering practice. Her ****** says he will take her, but she has to give him a blow job, first.
The girl is horrified and complains, but her ****** is steadfast and says: no blowjob, no ride to practice.
The girl didn't want to lose her spot on the cheerleading team, so she finally gives into her ******'s demand.
She starts in on him, jerks her head up and says: ***! Your dick tastes like ****!
The ****** replies: Yeah, your ******* had to get to soccer practice.
Joke #7:
Q: How do you give a redneck a circumcision?
A: Kick his ****** in the chin.
Joke #8:
A Jewish guy walks up to the pearly gates and is greeted by St. Peter.
Jewish Guy: "Yeah, yeah, I know. I've been discriminated against all my life. I know I’m not getting in, just tell me where to go."
St. Peter: "Oh no, we're not like that here. I tell you what, spell God."
Jewish Guy: "Really...that's it? G...O...D.
St. Peter: "Perfect, you're in. Please follow the golden winged arrows...next."
So next a Polish Guy walks up.
Polish guy: "Yeah I know, I've been discriminated against all my life. I know I'm not getting in upstairs. Just tell me where to go."
St. Peter: "Oh no, we're not like that. We welcome all kinds. Can you spell God?"
Polish Guy: "God, sure... G...O...D. That's it?"
St. Peter: "Yes sir, here's your pass. You'll find refreshments in the waiting area. Welcome home."
So then a black guy walks up.
Black guy: "Yeah man, I've been discriminated against all my life. I know the drill. Where's the black dude section?"
St. Peter: "Oh nooo, we're not like that; spell Chrysanthemum."
Okay that's enough jokes from me for today & to round out 2010! Wishing everyone a great New Year's Eve & a wonderful 2011! Be safe out there tonight!
Remember, if you *****.....don't drive & If your drive......don't *****!!!