Captionman:
Real name: Spencer Wellingman
Birthplace: Long Island, NY
Powers: Super Interactive Commercial Precognition; Cellular Morphism Into A Picture-Clarifying Super Being; Instant Allocation Of Temporal Alphabetics Into One-Celled Comic Misadventures
Origin: While reading and editing photo sublines and touching up bad comic art, New York Post worker Spencer Wellingman is accidentally exposed to lethal doses of Crapmar radiation while changing the copier toner during a solar flare. After ten days in the intensive care ward at a Kinkos'/Free Clinic, Spence emerges as a really well-informed and skilled superhero, who only wants to see the best in newspaper and visual captioning.