Wtf is wrong with me??

[Alyssa Rose]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I seriously feel like I'm going crazy guys! As most of you know I've been a member here for a while and I think it's safe to say that I enjoy porn, I can appreciate a beautiful woman and a beautiful body just as much as the next person but lately I've noticed that I've been getting pangs of jealousy and stupid insecure feelings when my boyfriend mentions that another girl is "sexy" or that she has a great body.. He is very into big boobs and I've found myself wanting bigger boobs lately! It's such a crazy thing to me because in my mind my boobs were already so big, so much so that I'd considered a breast reduction in the past! Now I feel like they're not big enough or that my frame needs to be way smaller with my boobs staying the same size.. I hate feeling jealous and I usually would love the fact that my boyfriend feels comfortable enough with me to openly say when he finds another girl attractive but I just don't know how to get these thoughts out of my head!
I don't get how I'm going from pretty confident and secure chick to insecure jealous bitch!

What should I do to stop feeling so insecure? Has anyone else gone from being fairly confident to not at all after entering a new relationship?

:o

 

[Hypergalaxy]

Its normal to feel some jealousy especially in a new relationships before a certain level of trust is built up. The best thing you can do is be in the best shape that makes you feel sexy about yourself and then ask him how he feels about your body. If he is really into you and how you look remember that human beings tend like variety in more than one way, so him looking at other people doesn't make you any less attractive. In fact since he has chosen to be with you I am sure you are what he prefers the most, the looking at other women just means he is human. I am sure your eyes wander from time to time too. Good luck either way and I am sure as time goes on and trust is built you will find yourself less and less jealous.

 

[jod0565]

We all go through little trials. Sometimes we put to much stock in other people's
opinions.
In a new relationship, we are trying to please the other person, but we must not go
too far and forget who we are.
Be yourself. You're great the way you are. If someone can't accept that, forget 'em.

 

[squallumz]

youre a girl. ive heard this a thousand times. at least its normal is all i can really say.

to get over it you can..

a) kick his ass.
b) tell him how you feel. (your best bet)
c) stir up some sort of self-confidence in yourself and know that you're better than them anyway.

but yeah. not too sure here. its a tough one. when me and my girl started watching porn together, i make sure to tell her right off that shes the only one for me and that porn is just for fun and nothing can replace her. and its true. she used to be really bad about it back in the day but when i talked to her and we got into it together, its been perfect since. no problems and she doesnt worry about my fantasies about other girls.

 

[gunslingingbird]

I used to be quite jealous. The way I was able to overcome that was by making myself understand that there are things that I can't control, and trying to control them or worrying about them would not only not change thee situation, but it would add unnecessary stress to my life.

If you are comfortable with who you are that's all you need. If he's happy with you the way you are, great. If he's not happy with you the way you are and wants you to change, you need to throw that fish back in the river and cast your line again.

 

[Alyssa Rose]

youre a girl. ive heard this a thousand times. at least its normal is all i can really say.

to get over it you can..

a) kick his ass.
b) tell him how you feel. (your best bet)
c) stir up some sort of self-confidence in yourself and know that you're better than them anyway.

but yeah. not too sure here. its a tough one. when me and my girl started watching porn together, i make sure to tell her right off that shes the only one for me and that porn is just for fun and nothing can replace her. and its true. she used to be really bad about it back in the day but when i talked to her and we got into it together, its been perfect since. no problems and she doesnt worry about my fantasies about other girls.

The thing that's really throwing me for a loop is that I've never been "That girl".. I mean I'm a moderator on a PORN forum for crying out loud.. I just don't understand where these insecurities are coming from all of a sudden.. But I guess everyone gets insecure from time to time :dunno:

I used to be quite jealous. The way I was able to overcome that was by making myself understand that there are things that I can't control, and trying to control them or worrying about them would not only not change thee situation, but it would add unnecessary stress to my life.

If you are comfortable with who you are that's all you need. If he's happy with you the way you are, great. If he's not happy with you the way you are and wants you to change, you need to throw that fish back in the river and cast your line again.

See he tells me all the time that he thinks I'm beautiful and that he's happy with me and I'm starting to think it's all the positive feedback from him that's making me this way.. Like since my previous relationship was such a shitty one and I was so used to being talked down to or compared to other women that I started seeing that as truth so now that I have someone who's treating me good it's making my mind think that something's actually wrong...
Could I really be THAT fucked up in the head?

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

 

[gunslingingbird]

See he tells me all the time that he thinks I'm beautiful and that he's happy with me and I'm starting to think it's all the positive feedback from him that's making me this way.. Like since my previous relationship was such a shitty one and I was so used to being talked down to or compared to other women that I started seeing that as truth so now that I have someone who's treating me good it's making my mind think that something's actually wrong...
Could I really be THAT fucked up in the head?

I wouldn't necessarily call it being fucked up in the head. I think it's more of a defense mechanism that your brain set up. It's not that you're fucked up, it's that your subconscious was traumatized to a degree by your previous situation and is now trying to assimilate the current situation using previous standards.

 

[L3ggy]

Your boyfriend would be stupid to lust for another woman.

 

[Sam Fisher]

Nikki, would you like me to kick his ass and beat some sense into him?

 

[No_Man]

See he tells me all the time that he thinks I'm beautiful and that he's happy with me and I'm starting to think it's all the positive feedback from him that's making me this way.. Like since my previous relationship was such a shitty one and I was so used to being talked down to or compared to other women that I started seeing that as truth so now that I have someone who's treating me good it's making my mind think that something's actually wrong...
Could I really be THAT fucked up in the head?

That was exactly my first thought. But, no, it doesn't make you fucked up in the head. Thousands of women go through the exact same struggle after a bad relationship. Most don't even come close to connecting the dots like you have. So I would say you're far more emotionally mature and sane than many women I have known.

Just give it some time. My rule of thumb is that the time it takes to fully recover from a bad relationship is at least as long the relationship itself lasted. Often longer. That doesn't mean you put your dating life on hold during that time. You just have to recognize that deep wounds take a long time to heal and expect to endure some complications long after the surface signs of damage are gone.

 

[LukeEl]

Just make him feel insecure about his cock and sexual stamina...total sexual kryptonite for men. Compare him to such porn actors as well that dude with the pony tail, Randy West, that dude with that European accent, and the clown prince of porn Jonathon Morgan.

 

[Pattheprovo]

Judging by your avatar. I don't think you need to change at all.

 

[xfire]

End it or fuck around. Only choices you've got.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

You want bigger boobs????

 

[busaguy79]

Its just something new you are experiencing and it will take time to get use to all this positive reinforcement! Just remember that he is there with you, wants to be with you and is there I assume every night with you (if you two are living together) Just enjoy what he is giving you and try to keep that green headed monster at bay!

 

[L3ggy]

try to keep that green headed monster at bay!

Cthulhu?

 

[busaguy79]

Cthulhu?

Yes I believe that fella is in charge of all forms of jealously as well as enslaving us all and darkening the world into a everlasting black hell of really shitty stuff!

 

[No_Man]

Yes I believe that fella is in charge of all forms of jealously as well as enslaving us all and darkening the world into a everlasting black hell of really shitty stuff!

Fella? I thought everybody around here knew that Cthulhu was a woman.

 

[busaguy79]

Fella? I thought everybody around here knew that Cthulhu was a woman.

I meant fella as in a female fella........yeah thats it......