I am definately middle of the road with this as well. I want to put this out there just that everyone could possibly get where I am coming from with this. I am a man of God and it is well known that the Christian community does not like the porn community. Luckly, I am one of those Christians who understand somethings about the world and not condem it because it is not my job. If the words come into your mind that, "He says he's a Christian, but he looks at porn," my responce to that is simple. I am a human. I am not perfect. I know that according to my religion that watching porn is consider a form of adultry.
I am not proud of it, but I am making the stride. I used to a huge porn collection that has almost crash my old computer on 2 seperate occasions and a adult DVD collection that was about $7,000 dollars in it estimated value. Luckly, my old computer finally crashed and my collection was stolen by a former friend of mines.
Now the reason I am middle of the road with this question is simple to me and probably others. If she was in the business and she was definately deep into it and didn't want to leave it, I couldn't be a part of her life on any level except on a consuling friendship. I'll be there like a true friend would and should always be there. Willing to help when others want to harm.
If she walked out of the business, left with no ties to it, except with the money she earned and the 'true-est' friends she made, I would definatly have no problem with that. Now, if they tried to talk her back into any aspect of the business after she has done so many great things without porn and truly happy with all that she has done, then I will step in and tell her friends "waz up".
Would I ever tell my family? Hell no. If my family did find out, well it looks like I got a line of conversations to go through, but I would make sure to tell them that she left the business before we ever got married or even serious. If we had children and they found out - I don't know, but I pray God would help me find an answer.
If my friend found a tape or DVD of hers, I will tell them that it was the past and if they can't respect that, then I dont see a reason why we can't remain friends.
If we go to church (not the buliding, the event) and they can't remove the stick from their butts because of her past and for me marrying her and that we came to worship the same God that always welcomes his children and forgives everyone if they believe and truly seek his forgiveness, then we have to bounce.
In the end, it all a matter of love, trust, and faith.