would you cheat on your wife/girlfriend?
- Thread starter nightowl
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Rey C.
Racing is life... anything else is just waiting.
No, it's not one and the same. Humans fantasize. Humans dream. And even when a person concocts a plan of action (adultery, theft, murder, etc.), the thought is most certainly not equal to the executed act.
One might follow a moral code that it is wrong to lust in ones heart. And that's fine. But it's a given that an act and a thought are not one and the same. Taken to an extreme, if you've thought about killing someone, does that make you a murderer? Hardly.
I wouldn't cheat on my significant other for the same reason that I wouldn't steal money from someone. I consider both to be wrong and I consider myself to be a pretty honest person. It has nothing to do with being caught. But at the end of the day, it's how I see myself that's most important to me.
:nanner: Now the conversation is rolling. Seemed like a good thought provoking topic after all.
Well perhaps thinking to cheat on someone and actually acting out upon it are two different things given the outcome. However if a person thinks (looking/lusting/fantasizing) they are one step closer to being able to cheat and perhaps doing so. Take for instance flurting, if you flirt with someone your closer to possibly taking things to the next step of flirtation or further. I would guess most hook-ups are not merely people cheating by finding a fuck buddy online, but rather with someone they work with, associate with, run into, get appraoched by, etc... Its not like you see a women in isle 10 at the grocery and you have sex in the frozen food section within minutes. So even thoughts/fantasy hold value towards possibly cheating.
After all....
"A journey of any length begins with a single step."
Well perhaps thinking to cheat on someone and actually acting out upon it are two different things given the outcome. However if a person thinks (looking/lusting/fantasizing) they are one step closer to being able to cheat and perhaps doing so. Take for instance flurting, if you flirt with someone your closer to possibly taking things to the next step of flirtation or further. I would guess most hook-ups are not merely people cheating by finding a fuck buddy online, but rather with someone they work with, associate with, run into, get appraoched by, etc... Its not like you see a women in isle 10 at the grocery and you have sex in the frozen food section within minutes. So even thoughts/fantasy hold value towards possibly cheating.
After all....
"A journey of any length begins with a single step."
Flirting is risky. Why would one flirt to begin with, especially if they are in a serious intimate relationship?
That is when a boundary might be needed. And one speaks up about it if it indeed a problem with one or the other.
This brings me to my other factor of a relationship: Communication.
If someone is naturally flirty and either does it by habit, or intentionally, or innocently, unknowing whatever. If you truly have a healthy relationship, a communicative relationship, you should be not afraid to speak up and say I don't like when you do that or maybe not go that far with it... something like that.
With communication you know the likes, dislikes, you know boundaries, and you know what can and cannot do. Or at least, in the end, know what the other understands.
So far we have trust, confidence, and now communication ^_^
That is when a boundary might be needed. And one speaks up about it if it indeed a problem with one or the other.
This brings me to my other factor of a relationship: Communication.
If someone is naturally flirty and either does it by habit, or intentionally, or innocently, unknowing whatever. If you truly have a healthy relationship, a communicative relationship, you should be not afraid to speak up and say I don't like when you do that or maybe not go that far with it... something like that.
With communication you know the likes, dislikes, you know boundaries, and you know what can and cannot do. Or at least, in the end, know what the other understands.
So far we have trust, confidence, and now communication ^_^
Rey C.
Racing is life... anything else is just waiting.
True, one step closer. But that last step is still quite a distance from where the thought is just in the mind.
Here's an area where I think most guys see it differently from most women. A man is generally more hurt by knowing that his woman has engaged in the physical act of sex with another man. A woman is generally more hurt by knowing that her man has emotional feelings for another woman. At least, that's what Oprah told me.
I agree that flirting puts one on the road to possibly cheating on their significant other. But especially with women, many of them (especially the particularly hot ones) love attention... or they may just be teases. I always keep that in the back of my mind when a woman flirts with me, or I with her. Flirting is like playing... like two kittens fighting: seldom does it lead to any real action. But a cute girl can scratch her nose and some sucker will think that she's hot to trot for him. Guys will fall for most anything. It's amusing to observe.
I've always found married women to be the biggest flirts in the world. Especially as they get older, I think they do it just to know that they can still attract a man's attention. Oprah didn't tell me that one, but I think it's true.
And I fully agree; this is an interesting topic. :thumbsup:
The Paulinator
Spreading the seed
No.
The short version of this is that I would never do anything that would hurt Mrs. The Paulinator. Being caught is immaterial. I would know in my heart that I had done something hurtful to her when she has been nothing but wonderful to me (with a few exceptions, but, hey, that's how relationships work, innit?).
Now, if I found out she was cheating, I would be outta there. When you cheat at anything, it means you are not interested in putting in the required effort anymore. Plus it is dishonest.
Extra: Flirting is not cheating. I am a Sagittarius and flirting is needed like air is needed. This is not propaganda. She knows I am how I am.
The short version of this is that I would never do anything that would hurt Mrs. The Paulinator. Being caught is immaterial. I would know in my heart that I had done something hurtful to her when she has been nothing but wonderful to me (with a few exceptions, but, hey, that's how relationships work, innit?).
Now, if I found out she was cheating, I would be outta there. When you cheat at anything, it means you are not interested in putting in the required effort anymore. Plus it is dishonest.
Extra: Flirting is not cheating. I am a Sagittarius and flirting is needed like air is needed. This is not propaganda. She knows I am how I am.
Jagger69
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue
One observation about relationships that would make anyone involved in a serious one want to instinctively say "no" to this question....it takes an entire lifetime to establish and maintain trust but only a split second of foolish indiscretion to destroy it forever. Just isn't worth it.
Depends... I'm dating a girl now, but I don't love her, so yeah, if the right opportunity presented itself, I'd take it and then tell the gf about it.
If I loved my gf and/or was married, no, I would not cheat.
If I loved my gf and/or was married, no, I would not cheat.
Nope, I'd think it would be a lot safer to do swinging with my girlfriend, that way we can enact any fantasies/urges to be with other people with each other's knowledge, instead of me having to lie to her.
I wouldn't, there isn't anyone better than her out there so it wouldn't make sense!
Most definitely not. Being in a relationship means being committed to the other person, not being free to stalk other prey.
That is how I feel. I love my girlfriend completely, and I know how much it would hurt me if she cheated on me. Why would I do that to her than?
You are ALWAYS going to have attractions to other people, but that is all they are to me. I need to have emotions to be involved with someone, and I have that with her.
You are right, no amount of apologizing, making up, or anything else, would ever get back the relationship you once had. I also do not believe you can truly love someone, and than cheat on them. Cheating is a clear sign the love is NOT there.
think about it. a couple hours of fun instead of a lifetime of commitment, support, love, and memories. sounds like a shitty exchange to me.
in addition to the repercussions, i simply don't have the interest. don't get me wrong, hotties are nice to look at, and sometimes even think lasciviously about. but to actually foster the desire to say "fuck you" to the person i promised support and fidelity to? notsomuch.
in addition to the repercussions, i simply don't have the interest. don't get me wrong, hotties are nice to look at, and sometimes even think lasciviously about. but to actually foster the desire to say "fuck you" to the person i promised support and fidelity to? notsomuch.
Facetious
Moderated
Would you blow the whistle for her sake if you felt that she was beginning to love you ?
ø :lovecoupl ø
:o
It's weird. I just realized this:
If I see a very attractive woman walking in my direction, I don't even look anymore, where I have in the past. I've been in relationships and I would look and think to myself ''Man, I would bang that chick so hard, she's drop-dead gorgeous''. Call it love, aging and being more respectful with my thoughts towards these hot chicks or pure total commitment to one person but I really don't even think about mentally wanting to bang another chick anymore as the only person I am truly fawning over and anticipate to be intimate with is my fiancée. Yeah I know what this site/board is all about, I've considered that. Anyways...
If I see a very attractive woman walking in my direction, I don't even look anymore, where I have in the past. I've been in relationships and I would look and think to myself ''Man, I would bang that chick so hard, she's drop-dead gorgeous''. Call it love, aging and being more respectful with my thoughts towards these hot chicks or pure total commitment to one person but I really don't even think about mentally wanting to bang another chick anymore as the only person I am truly fawning over and anticipate to be intimate with is my fiancée. Yeah I know what this site/board is all about, I've considered that. Anyways...
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