Worst porn/sexual experience ever?

[stampede2873]

(From the movie Eurotrip) Scott: I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!

 

[justahornydude]

High School, Finally landed this hot lil number, we drove around for a while out in the country and stuff. ended up finding a nice little place to park, started with all the usual. ended up going at it like two cats in heat, make a long story short . we were both pretty damn drunk, well she started her period in the midst of about 3 hours of car sex, oh yea, my old buick had white leather interior. it looked like somone had commited murder in that car, we didnt notice it until we got back into town where there was some light. talk about people giving someone some crap, my buddies worked me over pretty good on that one

 

[Facetious]

Yea, it was a, not so beautiful, yet very friendly and accommodating chic whose family owned a winery . . and before I go much further, she was, in fact hot, it's just that she was a bit too au naturel for my liking.

If memory serves, she invited me up to her parents home, the parents were away in Europe or who knows where, needless to say, she was a horn dog who practically tackled me as I stepped in the front door . . . of course she was drunk being the daughter of winery owner. :o

Anyway cutting to the chase, her parents had an indoor hot tub built into a separate section of the house and we began screwing . . . until the stubble on her legs started spiking me :WTF: ? !! What was I gonna do ? Maybe say something and possibly hurt feelings or sit there like a fag, trying to concentrate about getting it up again . . . yea, no fun, huh ?

I finally broke down and informed her about her spikey, leg hair stubble and she laughed and wandered away for about ten minutes and returned with smooth surfaced legs. Still though, it was kinda tough keepin it up even after she took care of business.

I'm not kiddin you though, that fuckin hair she had was wire like.

 

[No_Man]

So I met this girl in college. She's reasonably attractive and we click pretty well. We go out a couple times and she eventually invites me back to her dorm room. We start fooling around, she makes it clear that she's not going to have sex with me, but the door is still open for other activities. I figure the best way to get the blowjob I'm hoping for is to go down on her and work my magic. The lights are off and I'm down between her legs slobbering away while she's on cloud nine. Finally she's had enough, pushes me away, and flips the light on...

The bed, her pelvis and thighs, and most of my face are COVERED in blood.

She just looks at me with this sheepish expression and says, "Oops... I thought I was done. Sorry."

I probably could have gotten anything from her at that point, including the blowjob I wanted, but I was too nauseous to do anything but ask for a towel and look for some mouthwash.

 

[Sicario]

This is a good story, but it's worth telling.

When I was 16 two of my buddies and I rented a camping site to drink. This was one of my first experience drinking and we all got pretty drunk. I was the light weight out of the group. My two buddies were so gone that they stripped down to there boxers and laid on each other. While I was in the back of the tent trapped. I remember wanting to join, but it was so gay enough. Remember this was one of my first times being black out drunk. I just sat there and watched them wrestle the whole time. I couldn't look away it was so messed up, but so messed up it was funny as hell. After about an hour of this we all started to fall asleep.

I don't know who's more gay in this scenario me for watching it or them drunk wresting in there boxers. It's one of my best memories from high school.

Something is not right with your story. Most people don't remember jack shit when they are passed out drunk. Yet somehow you seem to remember every vivid little detail about this pseudo-homo romp . . .

:dunno: