"Run to the store and get me, and my friends out in the living room, some beer."
"I don't know why the hell it looked that color when it came out."
"I only had a slight burning sensation this time, not like when I urinate."
"Sorry, aiming isn't an exact science when doing this."
"Do you think you can turn your face towards that red light in the corner now."
"Hey, if you were so afraid of an accident happening you shouldn't have joined my on this threesome."
"That's not going to want to come out to the rug."
"Whoa..you’re not the.....who the hell are you!!!!"
"I hope that won't stain the painting you have on the wall."
"I don't know why you always look disappointed, that was great for me."
“I wouldn’t worry about it, once it dries, they will just think a bird crapped on their car”
"That big bundle of asparagus I ate this morning sure did taste good."
