I don't get it. I just don't get it! Normally, I thought men would love it when their woman wanted to do it all the time, any time, and any way they can. Which is how I am! It seems to me that I have to not want it for him to want it! It is SO frustrating! We do have a wonderful sex life, don't get me wrong on that, its just that I can't get enough of it lol. I don't bug him all the time for it, and I don't beg for it either. I try to do little things, drop subtle hints and even dress up in outfits that I know get him going every once in a while. I try to change it up every once in a while just so he won't get bored, but it seems I have to be totally not wanting it for him to all of a sudden jump my bones. I just don't get it! Maybe its just me though ha ha. :dunno:
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Why is wanting sex all the time a turn off to my man
- Thread starter brwn_eyed_grl
- Start date
That's not normal especially for a male in his 20's (I'm assuming he's in his 20's since you're 21). I don't want to ruffle any feathers or start some great debate and don't want to be too clinical about it about it but here's my opinion. It could be that he's no longer sexually attracted to you, he's getting some strange p*ssy on the side or maybe he's confused about his sexuality. Or maybe he's just an abnormal 20 something year old male. Again, only my :2 cents:
No offense taken, I try my best not to get mad over it, the one thing is that when we were first dating, the first year we had sex every day at least three times a day, he runs his own repair/sales/tractor business and is a farmer, he is always coming and going around here. So I do understand him being tired cause he has to feed cattle, sale tractors, repair tractors things of that nature. Which farming is a hard life when its you and only two other people running a ranch. I have tried different things, and I'm against threesomes, but any suggestions that might give him the WOW factor to spice it up a bit? I know whenever I switched it to something unexpected he was all over me for a while, then I would keep wanting it and he would switch off. I do have to say though, we don't go more then a couple of days without having sex, and its not that he doesn't get me off, but when it comes to foreplay, I'm doing all the work and then he wants to jump right into without doing anything to get MY engine running lol
GregCentauro
Banned
Either you are fat and ugly or he is gay.
:dunno:
:dunno:
That's just.....if you.....agh, I don't think that is going to help.
It is a strange one......I've never been like that....I've always wanted it more than it was given, but then my last relationship was with a cold hearted snake who used to like to lord it over me.....use it as a weapon to get me behave a certain way or do things for her......you know......I'm not being very helpful here either.....I'm going to leave this thread now.....it's confusing and frightening.
Maybe hes broken
Watch porn together and tell him what you want done--foreplay wise...do you want more attention paid to your boobs? Him to stay down longer when he eats you out?
Can you send him some naughty texts during the day? Get his mind on getting some action and maybe you'll get some action! :glugglug:
Can you send him some naughty texts during the day? Get his mind on getting some action and maybe you'll get some action! :glugglug:
I've always had a much higher sex drive then my hubby. Even back when we were teenagers (dating then).
Just in the past few months after 15 years of being together it finally clicked to him that it really was important to me. Since then he has made it a priority to have sex almost daily, sometimes every other day, but never less. Prior to that he could easily go for a few weeks and not realize it had been that long until I brough it up.
It's not that he doesn't enjoy sex. It mostly just that he puts so much stress on himself with work and providing for our family that by the time we make it to bed at night he is just give out and instead of thinking doing it his mind is already on the next day's work.
I have a handful of friends who are in the same place where they have a much higher sex drive then their hubby's. So it's not as uncommon as you would think. It's just what guy would talk about it, and if a women admits that she isn't having to constantly fake headaches and turn her guy down then people automaticaly jump to the conclusion that her hubby is cheating.
So there you go... my :2 cents: for what they are worth. lol (how's that for a first post...)
Just in the past few months after 15 years of being together it finally clicked to him that it really was important to me. Since then he has made it a priority to have sex almost daily, sometimes every other day, but never less. Prior to that he could easily go for a few weeks and not realize it had been that long until I brough it up.
It's not that he doesn't enjoy sex. It mostly just that he puts so much stress on himself with work and providing for our family that by the time we make it to bed at night he is just give out and instead of thinking doing it his mind is already on the next day's work.
I have a handful of friends who are in the same place where they have a much higher sex drive then their hubby's. So it's not as uncommon as you would think. It's just what guy would talk about it, and if a women admits that she isn't having to constantly fake headaches and turn her guy down then people automaticaly jump to the conclusion that her hubby is cheating.
So there you go... my :2 cents: for what they are worth. lol (how's that for a first post...)
tartanterrier
Is somewhere outhere.
Put yourself on the market and become a porn star.At least you
will get paid for your overtime.
Also,your hubby won't have to feel so bad knocking you back so
often - poor soul
will get paid for your overtime.
Also,your hubby won't have to feel so bad knocking you back so
often - poor soul
Try tearing your clothes off in front of him, that should get him going if that doesn't work then there something wrong with the bloke.
My wife has a much higher sex drive than I do as well and it took us a while to work out what that meant for our relationship. Its not that I have a low libido. I just have times that because of stress or health or the alignment of the planets I'm just not interested for several days in a row. At some point I'll snap out of it and be fine again.
Basically, what my wife and I worked out was that we would have sex as often as we could (several times per week, usually) until I went through one of my low libido episodes. The moment I started turning her down, she would back off completely until I initiated again. That was her cue that things were back to normal, and from that point on I would do my best to keep up with her needs.
Its all about communication. If you're pushing and he doesn't want it, its just going to make him frustrated and things will get worse. But at the same time, if you back off and the situation doesn't get resolved, its just going to make you frustrated and things will be just as bad. You either need to solve the underlying problem or find a way to compromise for each of your needs. Either one is going to require you to talk about it, though.
Basically, what my wife and I worked out was that we would have sex as often as we could (several times per week, usually) until I went through one of my low libido episodes. The moment I started turning her down, she would back off completely until I initiated again. That was her cue that things were back to normal, and from that point on I would do my best to keep up with her needs.
Its all about communication. If you're pushing and he doesn't want it, its just going to make him frustrated and things will get worse. But at the same time, if you back off and the situation doesn't get resolved, its just going to make you frustrated and things will be just as bad. You either need to solve the underlying problem or find a way to compromise for each of your needs. Either one is going to require you to talk about it, though.
Yeppers, for us it took me finally getting over the idea that being a girl with a higher drive didn't make me "bad". (Grew up in church.. dad and granddads both pastors...)
I had to bite the bullet so to speak and finally just tell the hubby exactly what I wanted. Down to how often and how much foreplay and stuff I need. It was either stay embarrassed, upset and horny or get over it and talk to him.
I tried just backing off and waiting for him to initiate but then we went a month without having sex. Just because he gets so caught up in stuff in his head that sex isn't on his radar while it's possible to have it. Meaning he might have been thinking about it during the day or something but since we couldn't do it then we didn't do it.
Of course what makes it work for us is that I usually am the one who initiates. We have cues for when I'm not wanting to be direct. If he is too tired or totally uninterested for whatever reason he takes his contacts out before getting in bed. Silly maybe but it keeps me from getting my feelings hurt.
I hope this helps a little.... I wish I could go back 10 years and have the discussion that I finally had with the hubby a few months ago. It would have saved me years of frustration and anger. Plus I would have been getting off more so I would have been much happier in general.... lol
veronicavaughn
Official Checked Star Member
I'm so with you girl!!!! GEEZE I want to bang bang all the time, I have to have it at least once a day, and I guess what the problem is, he's getting older, past 28 lol, seriously! He is having self confidence issues, stress, tired from work, not working out, etc. You get my point, it has nothing to do with you. But in the meantime you are constantly frustrated by not having some fun sex! Your going to have to masterbate, or go on the prowl and look for some booty! Which is what I find myself doing sometimes, you can only masterbate for so long, then you crave the real thing!!!
xo
Veronica
xo
Veronica
I'm more than willing to pick up your husband's slack! :wave2:
Seriously, though, it might just be a phase in his life. When I was in my early- to mid-20's I was like a Chihuahua, trying to fuck everything in sight. After I turned 26ish my sex drive seemed to drop almost entirely off the map and I was content with once a month, sometimes even less than that. About a year ago it just came back, and now I'm pretty much going through another Chihuahua phase.
How about sending me some naughty texts during the day? :helpme:
Seriously, though, it might just be a phase in his life. When I was in my early- to mid-20's I was like a Chihuahua, trying to fuck everything in sight. After I turned 26ish my sex drive seemed to drop almost entirely off the map and I was content with once a month, sometimes even less than that. About a year ago it just came back, and now I'm pretty much going through another Chihuahua phase.
How about sending me some naughty texts during the day? :helpme:
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