We went out for 3 years, everything seemed okay we got into fights here and there but nothing too serious. She'd begged me to stay home from work all the time and just hang out with her but then all of a sudden one day she cheated on me and left me for some other guy almost 4 months ago. Why the hell cannot I not get over her? I have been with a few girls after the breakup but afterwords i just feel worse. She wants nothing to do with me and is head over heels with that guy. I'll save you the trouble "stop being such a pussy and move on". She's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing before going to bed...I dream about her. I accept that she is a fucking bitch but why can't I get over her? Considering taking Zoloft since I am really depressed. Just wanted to vent.
Why can't I get over my ex-g/f?
- Thread starter razielp
- Start date
Are you trying to move on with the girls have been dating or are you biding your time in hopes that you ex will "wise up" and come running back to you? Only you know the answer to that question. Start making a life for yourself buddy. No woman is worth the devotion you are giving her.:yinyang:
GabberMan
Closed Account
That seems to be what some people call a "bad ending." Bad endings are common in life, unfortunately, and they always seem to carry some staple ingredients: confusion and lack of closure.
If a person dies and you understand why and how they died and get to go to the funeral then you get good closure and no confusion.
This "mini-death" that you've experienced lacks clarity and proper closure.
Go back to her and explain this; that you need to be clear as it was rather sudden and you're having trouble moving on - which is your intention, right?
Hope this helps.
If a person dies and you understand why and how they died and get to go to the funeral then you get good closure and no confusion.
This "mini-death" that you've experienced lacks clarity and proper closure.
Go back to her and explain this; that you need to be clear as it was rather sudden and you're having trouble moving on - which is your intention, right?
Hope this helps.
It varies, I want to get over her one second and then I want nothing more than to be with her again. I have no problem getting girls and she is not a good person so I don't know what is wrong with me. She won't accept my calls or emails asking for an explanation so that sucks.
I think just about all of us have been there before. It gets better, believe me. You have to stop texting, emailing ect. You are not ever going to get an answer that makes it any easier.
I don’t believe I’m doing this, because the song really sucks, but listen to this song by Garth Brooks.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=b69LiTM_7k0
I don’t believe I’m doing this, because the song really sucks, but listen to this song by Garth Brooks.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=b69LiTM_7k0
GabberMan
Closed Account
Well, perhaps you really are better off without her - I wouldn't bother taking anything, but perhaps a system of counsel would help - it seems to be what you're looking for here. See who you can find to talk about this with. The issue might not lie with her but perhaps from another experience you had at an earlier age, and this affair is triggering some unfinished business from the past which is why you're being haunted today.
In the meantime take up a new hobby and make some grand plans for next year - like going somewhere really different to travel.
In the meantime take up a new hobby and make some grand plans for next year - like going somewhere really different to travel.
GabberMan
Closed Account
Find a new chain of listeners. Worked wonders for me!!
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
You can't get over her yet because you went out for 3 years and have only been broken up for a few months. Give it some time before you start freaking out.
First and foremost - do NOT take an antidepressant. You are not suffering from clinical depression. You know why you're depressed, and that the cause is a common one; so while seeing a psychologist might be a good idea, leave the psychotrophic meds and their potential complications alone.
That could be part of the problem. At least it has been in the past for me. When you get dumped by someone you know isn't a particularly good person it leaves you going :wtf: even more than you usually would because for christ's sake you'd think they'd know they were damn fortunate to have a good person like you. It's kind of like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry finds out the woman he's dating used to date Newman of all people, and even worse, that Newman dumped her! It's just too mind blowing to even comprehend! :1orglaugh
Chef is also right that after 3 years, 4 months is virtually nothing, and that time alone is liable to make a difference for you. Hang in there and good luck :thumbsup:
That could be part of the problem. At least it has been in the past for me. When you get dumped by someone you know isn't a particularly good person it leaves you going :wtf: even more than you usually would because for christ's sake you'd think they'd know they were damn fortunate to have a good person like you. It's kind of like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry finds out the woman he's dating used to date Newman of all people, and even worse, that Newman dumped her! It's just too mind blowing to even comprehend! :1orglaugh
Chef is also right that after 3 years, 4 months is virtually nothing, and that time alone is liable to make a difference for you. Hang in there and good luck :thumbsup:
When I got dumped by my first gf I started going to the gym 4-5 times a week and just using the machine as a way to vent my anger. Having a workout buddy helps a lot.
When I dumped my 2nd gf I still have emotional attachment to her, so I called up bunch of my friends who are into clubbing and hang out with them every weekend and eventually I did get over her. So find something to distract you (getting more girls will just remain you of her)
Send her one last email or leave her a voice mail and basically vent all your feelings, frustrations, and anger toward her, then let it go and move on with your life.
When I dumped my 2nd gf I still have emotional attachment to her, so I called up bunch of my friends who are into clubbing and hang out with them every weekend and eventually I did get over her. So find something to distract you (getting more girls will just remain you of her)
Send her one last email or leave her a voice mail and basically vent all your feelings, frustrations, and anger toward her, then let it go and move on with your life.
Will E Worm
Conspiracy...
She cheated on you, move on.
You don't want someone like that around.
You don't want someone like that around.
Ok...... this is completely horrible advice. lol
I can't give a perfect answer and there are probably a ton of things I am skipping over and not taking into consideration, since I don't know your full situation... but here's a woman's perspective on it.
I know long term relationships can be very hard and frustrating to get over once you're at that point, and you may not ever stop thinking about her, but just accept it. She was an important part of your life even if she did screw it up. However, keep yourself busy and refrain from trying to contact her. She won't talk to you until SHE wants to anyway. She seems like a very selfish person and has no respect for you right now. It really really sucks that you didn't get any closure on it.. but somehow you have to figure out how to work with what you've got and get over it. It may be a bad comparison, but it's reminding me of when someone close to you, whom you thought was a happy person, suddenly commits suicide. You are left standing completely dumbfounded and heartbroken and can't even comprehend how to deal with the situation.
A big part of it is time. You MUST be patient with yourself. But DO NOT rush into any relationships, and do not just have mindless sex. Bringing more people's feelings into the picture will only complicate things further.
I know it's hard, but believe me when I say that that will probably never happen to you again... it isn't a very common situation (if you pick the right person to be with, someone that actually really cares about you.). And there are good females out there.
And when all else fails, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single! :rofl:
Just my :2 cents:.
Good luck!:wave2:
It won't help and it won't make you feel better but... it takes time. A lot of time.
If it really hurts, like i can understand from your post, a rupture can be like a very bad injury. The pain will slowly go away. But it will leave a scar.
Treat your rupture as an injury. Don't be affraid to use medication if it helps to cope with the pain. Don't be affraid to visit a psy if you feel you won't be able to overcome the pain.
But most important: it will take time. A lot of time.
Take the time to heal yourself.
Take time to take care of yourself.
And don't be affraid to speak about it. Here. With friends. With relatives. Or even make a journal and throw your pain on the paper. Or music if you play an instrument.
The best of lucks to you. :2 cents:
If it really hurts, like i can understand from your post, a rupture can be like a very bad injury. The pain will slowly go away. But it will leave a scar.
Treat your rupture as an injury. Don't be affraid to use medication if it helps to cope with the pain. Don't be affraid to visit a psy if you feel you won't be able to overcome the pain.
But most important: it will take time. A lot of time.
Take the time to heal yourself.
Take time to take care of yourself.
And don't be affraid to speak about it. Here. With friends. With relatives. Or even make a journal and throw your pain on the paper. Or music if you play an instrument.
The best of lucks to you. :2 cents:
Ok...... this is completely horrible advice. lol
I can't give a perfect answer and there are probably a ton of things I am skipping over and not taking into consideration, since I don't know your full situation... but here's a woman's perspective on it.
I know long term relationships can be very hard and frustrating to get over once you're at that point, and you may not ever stop thinking about her, but just accept it. She was an important part of your life even if she did screw it up. However, keep yourself busy and refrain from trying to contact her. She won't talk to you until SHE wants to anyway. She seems like a very selfish person and has no respect for you right now. It really really sucks that you didn't get any closure on it.. but somehow you have to figure out how to work with what you've got and get over it. It may be a bad comparison, but it's reminding me of when someone close to you, whom you thought was a happy person, suddenly commits suicide. You are left standing completely dumbfounded and heartbroken and can't even comprehend how to deal with the situation.
A big part of it is time. You MUST be patient with yourself. But DO NOT rush into any relationships, and do not just have mindless sex. Bringing more people's feelings into the picture will only complicate things further.
I know it's hard, but believe me when I say that that will probably never happen to you again... it isn't a very common situation (if you pick the right person to be with, someone that actually really cares about you.). And there are good females out there.
And when all else fails, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single! :rofl:
Just my :2 cents:.
Good luck!:wave2:
good points.
all things shall pass in time. you will get over her eventually. you say she's not good. that says a lot. i would not try to contact her. instead look at self improvement activities, such as working out, getting smarter, learning new stuff, hanging out with new exciting groups. hang in there. i would not take Rx. better to be natural.
Some good advice here so far. (and some not... )
I would also say...you need to realize you aren't obligated to be with someone who has hurt you. Long story...but I was in a toxic marriage...and put up with mountains of crap. She ultimately cheated on me. Sure it hurt...sure I was devastated...
But I started getting better when I realized I deserved so much better than her...
)I would also say...you need to realize you aren't obligated to be with someone who has hurt you. Long story...but I was in a toxic marriage...and put up with mountains of crap. She ultimately cheated on me. Sure it hurt...sure I was devastated...
But I started getting better when I realized I deserved so much better than her...
