ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
I recently had the urge to purchase some pornography. I haven't bought an adult DVD in quite some time and, to be honest, I was getting tired of tenderizing my pud to the same old shit every week, so, I perused the internet to purchase some new porn. After taking a cruise on the information super-highway and browsing for a while, I came across www.sextoy.com and noticed that they had some DVD's that I was interested in.
I browsed the site for a while, looking at various DVDs and waiting to see which ones would peek my interest. Then, I found it. Squirting DVDs...it was so obvious (well, to me anyway). I've always been a big fan of squirting, so I said to myself, "JACKPOT", and began to feel a little alive inside.
I then began to browse through the selection of "Female Ejaculation" DVDs and came across a few that I liked. Cum Rain Cum Shine, Squirt Showers and Supersquirt #5. I then whipped out my...debit card...and then began the ordering process. I entered all my information, bleep blop bloop, clicked all the appropriate "make this purchase" buttons, blop blip bleep, and I now had some DVDs on the way to my apartment.
According to the website, they use "discreet mailing" and send/bill every order from Convergence, Inc. I checked my "track package" information about an hour ago, because it seemed like my DVDs should've been here by now, and noticed that the package had arrived here in Chicago and was set to be delivered tomorrow. "Sweet", I thought to myself, "I'm going to play with my junk to something new this weekend." Then, I wondered what time it would be delivered. So, I looked up the number to the post office and called to see if they could tell me what time my whack-off movies would arrive.
I call up the USPS and get some younger woman on the phone. She sounded pretty cute, but she might've had a face like a butt...who knows? :dunno: I didn't care, I thought she sounded cute and that's all that mattered, sort of. Anyway, she looked up my information for me and then asked "Do you know where the package is coming from?" I told her that I didn't know where it was mailed from because I ordered it online. She assured me that was fine and then proceeded to ask me something that turned the whole situation around.
HER: "Do you know who is sending you the package?"
ME: "I'm not really sure of the company name, to be honest."
HER: "Is it...CONVERGENCE? Does that sound right?" :snickers:
ME: "Umm...maybe, I don't know."
HER: :snickers: "Ok, I can't give you a specific time, but it will be delivered tomorrow." :snickers:
ME: "Alright. Umm...can I ask, what's so funny?"
HER: "Oh, nothing." :snickers:
ME: :thinking that she knows what Convergence, Inc is:
HER: "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
ME: "Yeah. You know what Convergence is...don't you?"
HER: "Umm...er..."
ME: "HA, that's aaaaawesome."
HER: "What's awesome?"
ME: "You snickered because you've ordered naughty things from the internet before. That is so awesome."
HER: :quiet for a few seconds: "You ordered it too! Did you uh, get anything good?"
ME: "Just a few DVDs. You?"
HER: "Well, I can't really say because I'm at work, but let's just say that I got a 'boyfriend' that I can come home to."
ME: "No way. This is the coolest phone call I've ever made."
The moral of the story:
Everybody you talk to on the phone has ordered porn before and knows exactly what you're having delivered to yourself.
I browsed the site for a while, looking at various DVDs and waiting to see which ones would peek my interest. Then, I found it. Squirting DVDs...it was so obvious (well, to me anyway). I've always been a big fan of squirting, so I said to myself, "JACKPOT", and began to feel a little alive inside.
I then began to browse through the selection of "Female Ejaculation" DVDs and came across a few that I liked. Cum Rain Cum Shine, Squirt Showers and Supersquirt #5. I then whipped out my...debit card...and then began the ordering process. I entered all my information, bleep blop bloop, clicked all the appropriate "make this purchase" buttons, blop blip bleep, and I now had some DVDs on the way to my apartment.
According to the website, they use "discreet mailing" and send/bill every order from Convergence, Inc. I checked my "track package" information about an hour ago, because it seemed like my DVDs should've been here by now, and noticed that the package had arrived here in Chicago and was set to be delivered tomorrow. "Sweet", I thought to myself, "I'm going to play with my junk to something new this weekend." Then, I wondered what time it would be delivered. So, I looked up the number to the post office and called to see if they could tell me what time my whack-off movies would arrive.
I call up the USPS and get some younger woman on the phone. She sounded pretty cute, but she might've had a face like a butt...who knows? :dunno: I didn't care, I thought she sounded cute and that's all that mattered, sort of. Anyway, she looked up my information for me and then asked "Do you know where the package is coming from?" I told her that I didn't know where it was mailed from because I ordered it online. She assured me that was fine and then proceeded to ask me something that turned the whole situation around.
HER: "Do you know who is sending you the package?"
ME: "I'm not really sure of the company name, to be honest."
HER: "Is it...CONVERGENCE? Does that sound right?" :snickers:
ME: "Umm...maybe, I don't know."
HER: :snickers: "Ok, I can't give you a specific time, but it will be delivered tomorrow." :snickers:
ME: "Alright. Umm...can I ask, what's so funny?"
HER: "Oh, nothing." :snickers:
ME: :thinking that she knows what Convergence, Inc is:
HER: "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
ME: "Yeah. You know what Convergence is...don't you?"
HER: "Umm...er..."
ME: "HA, that's aaaaawesome."
HER: "What's awesome?"
ME: "You snickered because you've ordered naughty things from the internet before. That is so awesome."
HER: :quiet for a few seconds: "You ordered it too! Did you uh, get anything good?"
ME: "Just a few DVDs. You?"
HER: "Well, I can't really say because I'm at work, but let's just say that I got a 'boyfriend' that I can come home to."
ME: "No way. This is the coolest phone call I've ever made."
The moral of the story:
Everybody you talk to on the phone has ordered porn before and knows exactly what you're having delivered to yourself.
lmao
