If I had a dog, I would, as long as it was only Chelsea fans and taxi drivers.
When you guys walk your dog, do you let them kill other living creatures?
- Thread starter thickster
- Start date
That's funny. Honestly, I bet the toad gave the toad STD: warts.
Honestly, if you beat your dog like you beat your wife and kids, your dog wouldn't be so out of hand trying to bite you and stuff. Really now, you're the master, the dog is the pet. Take control! Have the same mentality with your wife and kids and life will go smooth.
You haven't seen anything until you have seen the murderous beasts that are household cats. I have seen those little bastards kill anything from bugs to birds to snakes to other cats.
You are aware of the fact that toads are amphibians, right?
Anyway, yeah it was cool what you did. When I had a cat and it'd see a bug or whatever, I'd try to catch and release it before the cat had her fun with it.
Mine just barks like an idiot at it and wants to play with whatever it is.
I think my cat's trying to kill me, does that count?
I mean, to say "I think" is a bit of an understatement really in the light of recent events where he's actually told me directly that he wants me dead sooner rather than later and that he's going feed off of my sexy, supple corpse for at least three months until I'm found by some fumbling, babbling moron (or my father to be more specific) and the police. He's even gone so far as to say that he's going to eat my face first as some sort of token gesture to show his appreciation for all I've done for him over the years - which when you think about it is quite nice.
At this point I obviously become very sceptical, because having awoke several times to the sounds of my own screams on the floor of my kitchen with my pants down in a puddle of my own piss and shit not knowing how I got there or indeed how I got myself in this position I find his there staring attentively at me, saying or doing nothing.
What does this mean?
My obvious question is this am I deluding myself here? Is the threat of my cat sitting on my face while I'm asleep, tripping me down the stairs or drowning me in its own piss just a self made illusion by my own subconscious in order to keep me locked up in this room for months on end away from the fears I have of the outside world; living off of what nourishment an assortment of insects and dust have within them and drinking my own urine? If so, how is the cat speaking to me? Why does he sound like Roger Moore? And if I get the chance should I attempt to off him first before he can get to me or should I just jump out of the window now and leave him here alone to his own devices?
So many questions so little time.
Shhh! He's scratching at the door, right NOW! Be cool people, be cool....
I mean, to say "I think" is a bit of an understatement really in the light of recent events where he's actually told me directly that he wants me dead sooner rather than later and that he's going feed off of my sexy, supple corpse for at least three months until I'm found by some fumbling, babbling moron (or my father to be more specific) and the police. He's even gone so far as to say that he's going to eat my face first as some sort of token gesture to show his appreciation for all I've done for him over the years - which when you think about it is quite nice.
At this point I obviously become very sceptical, because having awoke several times to the sounds of my own screams on the floor of my kitchen with my pants down in a puddle of my own piss and shit not knowing how I got there or indeed how I got myself in this position I find his there staring attentively at me, saying or doing nothing.
What does this mean?
My obvious question is this am I deluding myself here? Is the threat of my cat sitting on my face while I'm asleep, tripping me down the stairs or drowning me in its own piss just a self made illusion by my own subconscious in order to keep me locked up in this room for months on end away from the fears I have of the outside world; living off of what nourishment an assortment of insects and dust have within them and drinking my own urine? If so, how is the cat speaking to me? Why does he sound like Roger Moore? And if I get the chance should I attempt to off him first before he can get to me or should I just jump out of the window now and leave him here alone to his own devices?
So many questions so little time.
Shhh! He's scratching at the door, right NOW! Be cool people, be cool....
PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
My dog is dead you inconsiderate asshole. 
:rofl: :rofl2: :rofl: :rofl2: :rofl: :rofl2:
Only my exes.
My mutt chases them, but the squirrels and rabbits just laugh at him. Crows, seagulls and any other flying creatures let him get within 10 yards then fly off and land a few yards away and so it goes on. He hasn't figured out why he can't fly and can't climb trees! He's coming up to 8 and yet he still tries. He chases cats, but if the cat stands it's ground he'll chicken out!
He's as scared of spiders and other creepy-crawlies as I am, so he's of no practical use there!
The only thing that I know off that he's eaten was only what I can assume was a grass snake, a dead grass snake, which he swallowed whole! He wouldn't let me near it, but he swallowed it nonetheless. It's funny though, he'll eat dry, stale bread that people chuck out for the birds, (don't feed them bread it is of no use to them and only stops them looking for proper food) yet when I give him a slice of fresh, crusty bread he won't even look at it!!!
I have trained him to kill and eat drug dealers, though he doesn't like the aftertaste much, he much prefers babies and small children, though he can't eat a whole one!
Cats can be vile creatures at times, they torture and maim before killing their victims and not always for food, just for sport, vile, vile, vile.
He's as scared of spiders and other creepy-crawlies as I am, so he's of no practical use there!
The only thing that I know off that he's eaten was only what I can assume was a grass snake, a dead grass snake, which he swallowed whole! He wouldn't let me near it, but he swallowed it nonetheless. It's funny though, he'll eat dry, stale bread that people chuck out for the birds, (don't feed them bread it is of no use to them and only stops them looking for proper food) yet when I give him a slice of fresh, crusty bread he won't even look at it!!!
I have trained him to kill and eat drug dealers, though he doesn't like the aftertaste much, he much prefers babies and small children, though he can't eat a whole one!
Cats can be vile creatures at times, they torture and maim before killing their victims and not always for food, just for sport, vile, vile, vile.
PirateKing
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If I don't et him quench his blood thirst he'll eat my face while I'm sleeping.
(aside) why do you always use this font/colour/size?
Mmm, well he/she has failed. It doesn't annoy me I am just curious as to why he/she uses that font/colour/size?
