Weren't they originally set up by Emperor Hirohito just prior to the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki as a way to dull the minds of future generations of Americans and win the long war instead of the short battle which ended right after those two mushroom clouds appears over the horizon and gave everyone bone cancer? For you see, dear reader is that Hirohito was a brilliant man, he knew his forces were no match for the bombardment his country was facing and would soon face on an even greater scale, so he devised a plan to one day to give back Japan and its glorious rising sun the power that was rightfully theirs. What he would do would be to gather all of the superior minds in one place and demand of them an idea, an idea that future generations could fashion into a goal and then a product. Something that they knew - with their superior intellect and ability to do mathematics in their fricken heads - would grip the young impressionable minds of their captors and change them physiologically just enough to cause permanent brain damage. Not in any noticeable way, but it would just slow the population enough to allow for the glorious Japan and their allies to create and advantage over their rivals and continue on building until one day when the glorious revolution would come and all would fall who came up against the giant robotic, fully conscious Hirohito spreading a path of destruction behind him.
So that's what he did, two days before the bombs hit he called a mass Karaoke event to appease the masses where they were all told of the plan. And so, Nintendo was born.
Now they lie in wait, waiting for their revenge.
May God have mercy on us all.
