Thanks for all the great posts and advice on my question. It has really helped me think about the whole situation. Basically it comes down to this: My girlfriend treats me like a king. Okay, so the sex isn't always great, but that's normal. At least I am getting sex. Before I met her I was alone for a long time and not getting any. The only thing that stays on my mind is that before I met her I only had sex with 2 other women. Marrying her would mean that I will only have sex with 3 different women in my entire life! I just feel like I haven't experienced enough yet.
What should I do about my GF?
- Thread starter bnaked
- Start date
Yes, that's understandable... I had the same issue with a boyfriend just before I met the guy I am with now. And guess what? He missed out. lol We were talking about getting married and all, and I also treated him like a king, which he curses me for now. (Seems to be having trouble finding that again.) He did go and have his experiences, but I wasn't going to wait around while he fucked other girls. I found someone else to be happy with, without this hangup. And now I am still good friend with that old bf, which he is at least thankful for, because we have always been really close and he vents to me about a lot of things. One of the things being that he feels like he screwed up majorly in breaking it off with me because he wanted to have other experiences.
He's especially angry because myself and the guy I am with now have three-somes all the time, so if he had taken the time to explore ME a little bit more, he would have found out that I was open to that sort of thing.
Oh well! Like I said, he missed out. And now he knows just how much he's actually missing and it kills him. Not much I can do about it, he made his choice and it is how it is. :dunno:
I might be way off, and I don't know your gf but I just hope you won't be making the same mistake.
Also, test the waters a little bit with her and try talking more about sex. Most women get turned on by that sort of thing. Talk about one another's fantasies, even if they're weird. Talk about things you've always wanted to try, but never actually did. And yes, watching porn together can help, but you have to be very open for communication sexually, or she will more than likely feel awkward and out of place. If anything you can watch it to get ideas.
Lol. Read the quote a little closer. He said it is one of the most important parts. And it is for some people. It depends on the person. Some people have higher sex drives than others, and need to find people with similar sex drives to be fully satisfied. (I don't care what anyone says, it's not satisfying to do it by yourself all the time.) If you're in a committed, sexual relationship, imo you should be able to just jump that person and have sex anytime it strikes your fancy. But I think it helps to actually have a high sex drive or understand how it works to really get a good idea of what I'm talking about. There may also be people with high sex drives that restrict it, and don't get my point, which I don't personally believe you should do.
I think your sex drive is part of who you are, and thus part of your relationships, and if you have a high sex drive, it takes on a roll of more importance.
Ok ok I'm done. lol Sorry, just making a post and going back and re-reading and noticing something else to comment on. :dunno:
Will E Worm
Conspiracy...
I did read his comment that was redundant. I quoted someone else.
He just wants it all. He should have thought about it a bit longer rather than just trying to get inside her panties like he did. Now he has no logical reason to find someone else.
The next three quotes are from comment #33
rwill25 said:
Echo echo echo echo echo...
I agree with this.
It doesn't mean every couple will have less sex.
Some couples will have more sex than others.
If one partners denies the other too much they might commit adultery.
I don't agree with that choice, but it can happen.
I can imagine why. You can't have sex all the time then when you're are married decide I'm not going to have as much just because. If someone feels that way, they might as well not get married in the first place
Or....don't complain when you find out your spouse is having sex with someone else.
Hi!
I guess you are doing something wrong, or I am doing something right!
I never had better sex than I have now with my steady girlfriend I see for about 4 years. She knows every move I like, every little detail. I wholeheartedly know I never have the same experience with a one night stand or a woman I just know for about half a year.
My girl knows how to push my buttons, and I wouldn't want it any other way. If the excitement one has in sex is only based on WHO you're having it with, you will certainly get bored. If it's based on HOW you're having it, a steady relation is best. And even: I prefer quality over quantity!
:2 cents:
PS: above is not intended to offend other members, but to give another perspective on the sometimes egocentric thoughts of the "how", who" and "why" in relationships. In a conflict, both parties have a piece of the problem AND the solution!
Good post.
I really see your points and agree with some of them. I think the factor that might have seperated myself from you was my immaturity. I was very sexually satisfied but when another girl came on to me I had problems saying, "No, I'm seeing someone." Whether I was dating a brunette, sometimes I felt like a blonde, asian, you get the picture.
Chris Rock once said, "A man is only as faithful as his options." And I lived by that totally. I put her through some bad times but luckily we both made it out and for that I'm grateful. I can settle down with her knowing that I did it all and could never find anyone better.
try this...
Give up ALL porn for one week straight, then see what happens.
Give up ALL porn for one week straight, then see what happens.
ain't nothing going to happen
Lacey Black
Official Checked Star Member
I agree with the people who say spice things up.. I dont think you should give up your whole relationship just because of the sex but you also should not have to be unhappy with the sex you are having.. You should really sit down and think about whats missing from when you guys do it and one you figured that out pull her aside and talk to her about fixing it.. Communication is the number one thing in any relationship.. And dont be scared to talk to her about whatever it is you think is missing.. Trust me I have had some bfs n gfs ask me to do some pretty crazy stuff and were shocked when I said it was something I was already interested in doing.. SO TALK TO HER
WOW!! This one hits pretty close to home, and sometimes the answers given just don't hit the nail on the head.
For example, I have been in a relationship for 7 years, 4 dating and 3 married. I haven't have sex with my wife for 2 years! Why? Cuz I am BORED OUTTA MY SKULL with her. She and I have spoken constantly about my fantasies. They have to be mine because apparently she has none, I do "IT" for her and she has no need for fantasizing(her words, not mine). I say spoken, cuz she just will NOT indulge in my fantasies or fetishes. Average sex is what she likes and what I like just doesn't factor in.
Now, why am I still with her? My DUMB-ASS still loves her, however I do occasionally indulge on the side. i.e. - CHEAT!! Some of you are gonna ask, well what if she cheated on you? As long as I don't know, I'm okay with that. Even if I did, I can't get mad... I haven't fucked her for two years! My Dads great sage advice on my wedding day, " What she don't know, she don't know, SHE DON'T KNOW!!! ".
Anyway, back to the topic.... sometimes boredom becomes a part of life when your in love. EVERYONE handles it differently. No one answer from anyone will make this person feel better, he has to sit and be honest with himself and live with the consequenses of his choices... I am, are you?
For example, I have been in a relationship for 7 years, 4 dating and 3 married. I haven't have sex with my wife for 2 years! Why? Cuz I am BORED OUTTA MY SKULL with her. She and I have spoken constantly about my fantasies. They have to be mine because apparently she has none, I do "IT" for her and she has no need for fantasizing(her words, not mine). I say spoken, cuz she just will NOT indulge in my fantasies or fetishes. Average sex is what she likes and what I like just doesn't factor in.
Now, why am I still with her? My DUMB-ASS still loves her, however I do occasionally indulge on the side. i.e. - CHEAT!! Some of you are gonna ask, well what if she cheated on you? As long as I don't know, I'm okay with that. Even if I did, I can't get mad... I haven't fucked her for two years! My Dads great sage advice on my wedding day, " What she don't know, she don't know, SHE DON'T KNOW!!! ".
Anyway, back to the topic.... sometimes boredom becomes a part of life when your in love. EVERYONE handles it differently. No one answer from anyone will make this person feel better, he has to sit and be honest with himself and live with the consequenses of his choices... I am, are you?
Thanks again for the posts! I guess that my problem isn't the sex, but the fact that if I marry her I will have to say no to all other women. Since I have been with my GF for over 2 years she will be expecting me to propose soon. I don't think I'm ready for that. This sucks! I don't want to break her heart, but I don't want to get married either. I feel like I haven't experienced enough to settle down yet.
I am in a similar situation. I have been with my girl for two years. I am very fortunate as she is a great girl. He younger sister just got engaged so now the pressure is on me.
I am in no hurry for marriage. I LOVE my independence. My married friends have NO independence. I'm just not ready to give that up yet. In my case, this has nothing to do with my girl and everything to do with me.
Like bnaked, I also have some mixed feelings about marriage because I feel like I'd like to experience more because once married, I would never be able to cheat.
It really depends on how much porn you watch. If you watch porn in excess this could be your problem. I'm not saying that porn is bad and masturbation is wrong, masturbation is very healthy for you mentally and physically, HOWEVER anything in excess is bad.
Multiple sources and surveys have been conducted on this, and porn has been linked to erectile dysfunction at an early age. Some men can't even get it up much less get off unless they're watching porn - even while having sex.
Statistically, men who watch porn in excess / have an addiction / obsession with porn start having erectile problems as early as their 20's whereas men without the problem usually have problems in their 40s-50s, if even at all.
This is because porn CAN desensitize you if you watch enough of it.
Most men refuse to believe this because they don't want to give anything up. Or they are misinformed.
http://www.reuniting.info/science/three_myths_about_porn
"French neuroscientist Serge Stoleru found that overexposure to "erotic" stimuli exhausted the sexual responses of normal, healthy young men."
Quote from http://www.rense.com/general78/impotence.htm
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/469209?camp=36
stick it in the pooper
Well, if you stay with her, regardless of marriage, you aren't going to get more experiences unless you cheat, which would almost certainly ruin your relationship and what sex you DO have, plus you love her and admit she treats you well, so if you're really wanting more experiences with more women and its that strong of a desire then leave her. There's no reason to hurt her with cheating after she's treated you so well. Is that the sort of payback you want to give her? What are you waiting for?? Are you waiting for the relationship to fall apart or something so that you can have your experiences with other women without breaking it off with her yourself?
In other words, if you're staying with her after 2 years and plan on staying with her, you won't be able to have sexual encounters with anyone else any more than if you were married anyway. (Without hurting her and losing trust.) If its going to be that way You Might as well break up, because I can guarantee she WON'T treat you like a king if you cheat on her, in which case the reason you don't want to give up your relationship with her is gone anyway PLUS she will be hurt.
Similar threads
