Gonna lay confession on your sinful ass?
What Position Would Jesus Play in Sports?
- Thread starter PlumpRump
- Start date
Gonna lay confession on your sinful ass?
Shifty
O.G.
Hello, Jesus is not a Christian! lrn2religion!
... and don't argue with me or I'll fucking declare war on you.
Hello, Jesus is not a Christian! lrn2religion!
... and don't argue with me or I'll fucking declare war on you.
Right... but Jesus' teachings are the foundations of Christianity. So, seeing as how Jesus wouldn't cherry-pick goals, his teaching by way of example dictates that cherry-picking is therefore inherently, and decidedly un Christian.
Plus, I think one of the lost Commandments was "Thou Shalt Not Cherry Pick."
So, there :tongue:
L3ggy
Special Operations FOX-HOUND
This.
He can smack Hitler for sure.Of course, with some help.
Hello, Jesus is not a Christian! lrn2religion!
... and don't argue with me or I'll fucking declare war on you.
Your right, hes not a christian, hes a myth.
I'm much more curious what position Mohammed would play. :elaugh:
I'm not sure about as a player. But my intuition tells me that as a coach, he'd probably call for the suicide squeeze more often than was appropriate.
maildude
Postal Paranoiac
I just talked to Jesus with the help of hallucinogens. He said His favorite sports position is catcher in baseball. He explained as my eyebrows were melting, that a catcher controls what the pitcher...or leader...will do. When I asked him about the change-up on a 2 and 2, he got really angry, and turned into a kaleidoscope of colorful images, before shouting loudly that the breaking pitch is favorable before a 3-2 count. I could hardly argue, since I was throwing up into a flower pot and crying over my father's untimely death. Suddenly, He smiled like an escaped fish and raised his hand unto the Heavenly hosts, and announced that Cal Ripken would replace Him, should He be put on the DL.
What about girls little league? That way he could get a better start on his 72 virgins and love for pedophilia. :hatsoff:
Shifty
O.G.
Well he brings us presents, so I have no complaints.
So, you're in the schoolyard, time to pick teams for soccer, and you're picking. The options before you are:
Thor
Zeus
Jesus
Mohammad
Allah
Eric the Red
BlueBalls
Barack Obama
Atlas
Who do you choose first?
Thor
Zeus
Jesus
Mohammad
Allah
Eric the Red
BlueBalls
Barack Obama
Atlas
Who do you choose first?
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edirons22
...currently wanking!
Zeus of course.He fucked every chick in Ancient Greece.He is my role model :elaugh:
PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
Mohammad, because he seems like the type who would take the ball and go home if you didn't pick him first.
roronoa3000
Banned
The next Mike Vick (minus the dog stuff).
BioDefenseGrad
Banned
This. I think it would be too gruesome to watch his battered, bloodied frame play in a contact sport. It would be like Joe Theismann x10.
