What if you found out that the woman you have been dating was a man?

[member20672]

I guess I could understand the initial reluctance to tell the other person you were once a man, but once the relationship turned "serious" and I was told, IMO the other person should respect my decision and be understanding of it.

Well that kind of news isn't exactly an ice breaker or conversation starter. And I'd imagine that as the relationship progressed, it would become harder for the person to tell the truth. And, this person should probably respect your decision, but at the same time you should respect that person's feelings, as it has to be hard on the person.

 

[BNF]

If I felt there was a connection

Feeling the "connection" is probably your first, last and best clue.

I wouldn't continue because kids are important. I would also feel betrayed.

 

[member2686]

I sort of feel the same way as Seraphim. How can you have a lifetime of intimacy, trust, and full-blown honesty if you've crossed the line in romance, from dating to sex and emotional attachment, only to be told later about this sort of information? If you knew it from the start and chose to pursue it, go for it, but in this instance it seems based in deception.

Understandably, many transsexual/transgendered people are at first reluctant to be forthright for fear of rejection; society doesn't accept them perhaps as it/we should. That's perhaps the root of this issue - people often see them as freaks, but they're just born feeling trapped inside a body that doesn't match their identity as a person.

Still, having been duped into something like that, yes I'd end the relationship. When would the next "secret" be revealed? :dunno:

It's sort of like dating a woman for a few months, falling in love with her, having sex and emotional intimacy with her, and then she later tells you that she is, in fact, married.

Sex change or marriage or whatever other circumstance is not really the issue here; honesty is honesty, and intimacy depends on complete honesty, and lifelong emotional and romantic happiness relies (in part) on honesty and intimacy. You can't have that with someone who's holding secrets or who's lying to you.

:2 cents:

I would likely end the realtionship.
The lack of honesty would be the main issue with me.
Another thing would be my desire to have children.

 

[nothingandless]

this is a good question because this is easily a situation that could happen.
if i felt for them, id end it due to the lack of honesty. thats something they should have let you in on early, like the 2nd date. that way you have a chance to decide if you're cool with it or not before you develop feelings for them.
id also end it because even though they got the parts changed, it doesn't change the fact that they were a man before. the genetic make-up is still the same, plus you could never have children.

 

[Jacksson_77]

I think I'd be too embarassed to continue the relationship.

:hatsoff: Jackson

 

[member2686]

What happened to mcrocket? It says "closed account" by his avatar and he has 0 rep power. :dunno: I talked to him just the other day and he said he was very happy to be back after the last ban and that he had a new perspective on things, as has been demonstrated by his flurry of interesting and positive posts of late.

What's going on?

 

[Jacksson_77]

What happened to mcrocket?...

I tried to send you a PM, Nightfly, but your folder seems to be full...

:hatsoff: Jackson

 

[member2686]

Ooops! I was over-quota. Fixed. BNF clarified in the POW thread...

Back to topic...

I tried to send you a PM, Nightfly, but your folder seems to be full...

:hatsoff: Jackson

 

[Mayhem]

Actually that happened to me back in '90. The "woman" I had picked up at a bar turned out to be a transvestite. As if that wasn't funny enough, my friend was in the exact same situation on the other side of the table, and he didn't have quite the same sense of humor as I did. On the other hand, (forgive the pun) I'm the one who found out the hard way by grabbing crotch first and getting a very unpleasant surprise. I don't remember much about the rest of that weekend.

 

[satyrsam]

I want kids

 

[jumbo_jim]

I would end the relationship.

This is because of a lack of honesty more than anything else. She should have informed me of her change much earlier in the relationship.

Unsure what I would do if told after a few dates and thought I may be falling for her.

 

[jim1966b]

It would be a dream come true. I'd get down on my knees and suck her cock and hope that she would do the same for me.

 

[hotlikecandy]

Have some friends come over with a keg, a crucifix for the bastard, maybe a cleaver, a can of gas and some weed.

 

[member006]

I don't date women, so no worries here. nananana

 

[slowhand]

I just hope I never ever have to find that out in my lifetime. :eek:

 

[holdol]

Wonder why the hell I didn't notice right away. Then go see a therapist.

 

[angelfire1972]

oh my God....

 

[auburn1791]

I would end it. I know that people don't share everything about them when a relationship begins, but that is pretty important.

 

[Legzman]

She/he whatever would have to go!

 

[ChefChiTown]

I'd be embarassed of the fact that my "girlfriend" had a bigger penis than I did.