Till Death Do Us Part...

[marquis2]

If I die before my wife I hope she will continue to live happily , if this means a new relationship that's great as long as it's good.But I do not want my children's inheritence to be taken from them.

 

[AFA]

I've seen a bunch of TV shows and movies that have a bunch of situations where people are getting re-married after their spouse dies and I don't get it. Yes, you need to "move on", but really? I don't get how somebody can jump into the arms of another woman (or man) after their spouse dies.

Personally, I'm not going to marry someone unless they are the only person that I want to be with and I know it. If my wife died after we got married, I would never be able to re-marry again, or even date, have sex, kiss, etc.

I know that part of the traditional wedding vows are "till death do us part", but I don't think it should be. To me, marriage is a commitment that I will only enter into with somebody who I will love for the rest of MY life...not just hers. If I get married and my wife dies, I'll still be dedicated to her even though she's gone. Just because she doesn't lie in bed next to me at night anymore doesn't mean that she's not still my wife.

What does everyone else think?

Or a divorce. People should give themselves time to heal. Jumping into another relationship I think shows insecurity, and is probably doomed to failure. However like everything else in this society, everything is disposable including people.

 

[candystick]

I always had this impression of my dad, who is a certified womanizer during his younger years, that he's going to date and eventually got married again after my mom died. But I was wrong. When my mom died 8 years ago, that's when he started to become a faithful husband and a father to us.

Isn't it ironic?

 

[LBP 76]

I won't get married so I won't have to worry about it.

 

[calpoon]

there's six billion people on the planet, don't you think declaring that you could never have any meaningful relationship with more than one of them is pretty shallow and egotistical?

seriously, if that's love, that's a pretty shitty idea and it sounds like insecurity to me (not the opposite).

 

[villiageidiot]

So, my aunt (who is like my second mother) has been a widow for around 7-8 years now and recently, she has been "seeing" this random ass dude that she knows from back when she was in high school (my aunt is almost 70). Apparently, she wants to have a relationship with this guy, but here is what I don't get...

Her husband (my uncle) died 7 or 8 years ago and she still cries when we talk about him. He was the only guy she had ever been with during her whole entire life. She has pictures of him all over her house (not in a creepy way though) and always talks about how perfect he was. With that being said, how can she all of a sudden just want to start dating some other guy and have a relationship?

I guess that is what confuses me the most about people "moving on" after the death of their husband/wife. How can you mourn their absence and feel heartache for their death, but, at the same time, want to get emotionally and sexually involved with some random ass person? To me, that's like trying to mix oil and water...it can't be done.



HUH? :wtf:

Did you ever think your aunt is lonely and just wants to spend her last years with someone who makes her happy?

 

[ChefChiTown]

Did you ever think your aunt is lonely and just wants to spend her last years with someone who makes her happy?

Of course I have...I just don't understand how you can have such extreme feelings all at once AND act on both of them at once.

Crying over your dead husband + wanting to fuck some other dude = WHAAAAAAT? :wtf:

 

[IsobelWren]

Well I dunno. If I got married and then I died I'd want my husband to eventually move on and find another companion. I don't want the poor guy to be alone forever and I'd hope he would feel the same way about me if he died. Sure, he loved me and vowed to be with me, but like you said, it's "til death do us part" I'm dead. Like I give a rat's ass if he's shtupping someone else.

I mean, man who marries me is going to have regular sex and then I die and what, he becomes a monk? That's a raw deal. Also, if we had kids I'd want them to have a chance at another mom...or dad, if he swings both ways.

On a side note, my boyfriend is the product of a widower's second marriage so it's not all bad. He's a neato dude. If his father had decided to remain widowed after his first wife and son perished in a car wreck then RK Milholland, comic book artist, would not have been born!

 

[IsobelWren]

So, my aunt (who is like my second mother) has been a widow for around 7-8 years now and recently, she has been "seeing" this random ass dude that she knows from back when she was in high school (my aunt is almost 70). Apparently, she wants to have a relationship with this guy, but here is what I don't get...

Her husband (my uncle) died 7 or 8 years ago and she still cries when we talk about him. He was the only guy she had ever been with during her whole entire life. She has pictures of him all over her house (not in a creepy way though) and always talks about how perfect he was. With that being said, how can she all of a sudden just want to start dating some other guy and have a relationship?

I guess that is what confuses me the most about people "moving on" after the death of their husband/wife. How can you mourn their absence and feel heartache for their death, but, at the same time, want to get emotionally and sexually involved with some random ass person? To me, that's like trying to mix oil and water...it can't be done.



HUH? :wtf:

Well, have you ever dated a girl who dumped you and you never reeeeeally got over it? I'd guess it'd be like that but more um, final. You ache, You Miss her, you wish it didn't have to be like that...but eventually you start to feel stagnant, out of touch, You Miss being around people, being coupled. Your deceased wife occupies a very special place in your heart, but I think that there's room for more than one person in there. You Miss past relationships but were able to move on. It's a similar kind of thing. Your new wife will never hold the same place in your heart that your old wife did but she can have a new space, a different space and you can love her just as much as you still love your deceased wife, just in a different spot.

 

[calpoon]

the time and feelings that you share with one person is not invalidated by the time and feelings that you share with someone else. why would it be? that's ridiculous. They are two distinct and separate entities. You love both your mom and dad, and you don't love either one less for the love of the other.

I understand monogamy, that is taking a vow to not be with anyone else. making it a lifelong vow is the same thing. But that is merely a personal choice and not a fundamental quality of human behavior and emotion.

people can live without intimate relationships, but people can't fully function emotionally and psychologically in total isolation. Our experience is defined collectively by interaction with others. that is the whole basis for human society.