Things You Do On Purpose Just To Be A Prick

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

I like to crowd the door at public bathrooms and glare into their eyes when they open the door to leave. I should get a Tumblr picture deal to post the looks on their faces.

If someone is waiting for me when I leave I give them a detailed accounting of the prior 12 minutes in there.

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

If I'm stood behind someone putting their PIN in at a check out or ATM, I like to shout random numbers and watch them get confused.

 

[Little Red Wagon Repairman]

Fun to mess with people at the gym too. I like to wave my keys at someone offering to double the weight on the piece of equipment they are using. I also like saying, "The Q-Tips at the store are bigger than those dumbbells you're using." Also short guys setting up the Smith Machine for Bench Press you ask if they're doing Squats.

 

[fkknuckle]

I wake up in the morning.

 

[bobjustbob]

I get these calls from home improvement companies wanting to re-shingle my roof or install windows and shit like that. My phone listing is under a fictitious name. I'm on the do-not-call list but they get through to me anyway. It always starts the same way. They ask for me by my fake name. "Yea, this is me."


"Your number was given to me by one of your neighbors and I understand that you are looking to do some improvements on your house."

"Yea, I've been thinking about doing a little bit of something around here."


Then he goes into his whole list of services and we have a conversation about how nice I want my house to look. We pitch ideas to each other till he wants to set up an appointment. We set one up at my office...not really my office...it's the management office of my rental complex. The schmuck walks in there looking to make a killing from an unknown person with a house that doesn't exist. I get called back from these folks and laugh in their ear telling them that I caught onto their scam.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Sometimes, when I'm walking my dog in the park, I don't clean up after her.

 

[Ace Bandage]

I used to key cars in college.

They made students park way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere. So when I had to walk twenty minutes to class in the rain or snow, I would get angry at cars that had different parking permits and were allowed to park closer. On more than a few occasions, I would walk by one of these cars and drag my key down the entire driver's side of the car. Because fuck people.

 

[alexpnz]

I take up 2 spots when I park my car because.....well, I drive an 2012 Audi A4.

 

[bobjustbob]

I take up 2 spots when I park my car because.....well, I drive an 2012 Audi A4.

See above post.

 

[Mayhem]

I take up 2 spots when I park my car because.....well, I drive an 2012 Audi A4.

In contrast, when I see someone do a crap parking job I park my KIA POS millimeters away from their drivers side. One more dent isn't even going to get noticed.

 

[Ace Bandage]

I take up 2 spots when I park my car because.....well, I drive an 2012 Audi A4.

I don't mind when people do this at the back of a large parking lot like Wal-Mart or the supermarket. But if you're taking up two spots in a busy parking lot, I'm parking as close to you as possible and door banging the shit out of your car.

It's just a car. You're not special. Get over yourself.

 

[xfire]

 

[Will E Worm]

I take up 2 spots when I park my car because.....well, I drive an 2012 Audi A4.

What? :tongue:

I don't mind when people do this at the back of a large parking lot like Wal-Mart or the supermarket. But if you're taking up two spots in a busy parking lot, I'm parking as close to you as possible and door banging the shit out of your car.

It's just a car. You're not special. Get over yourself.

It's someone's private property that they paid for.

So, you need to go to jail.

 

[alexpnz]

I don't mind when people do this at the back of a large parking lot like Wal-Mart or the supermarket. But if you're taking up two spots in a busy parking lot, I'm parking as close to you as possible and door banging the shit out of your car.

It's just a car. You're not special. Get over yourself.

Do you have any idea what insurance rates for a car are in Jersey?

It costs to drive a car here, even more so for an expensive one.

My deductible for collision ain't cheap, Ace.

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

I like to shout "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" when other people are watching Game Of Thrones.

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Do you have any idea what insurance rates for a car are in Jersey?

It costs to drive a car here, even more so for an expensive one.

My deductible for collision ain't cheap, Ace.

You bought the expensive, pretentious, "I'm a uppity yuppie prick" car. deal with it. You deserve any vengeful retribution you get for being inconsiderate, and selfish. I pay insurance on my truck, and on a bike. Both mean more to me, then your car.

 

[Will E Worm]

You bought the expensive, pretentious, "I'm a uppity yuppie prick" car. deal with it. You deserve any vengeful retribution you get for being inconsiderate, and selfish. I pay insurance on my truck, and on a bike. Both mean more to me, then your car.

 

[BlkHawk]

I like to fart in elavators right as I step out and other people are stepping in. I try to only do it when I think it will be a silent one though.

 

[Asspuncher]

I piss on the floor in public restrooms.

 

[alexpnz]

You bought the expensive, pretentious, "I'm a uppity yuppie prick" car. deal with it. You deserve any vengeful retribution you get for being inconsiderate, and selfish. I pay insurance on my truck, and on a bike. Both mean more to me, then your car.

...."then" my car did what?