Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Twilight, the Jonas Brothers, getting blue balls, misfires and stovepipes, The Mighty Boosh, no music on MTV, Madonna, wasted food, putting milk or Sunny D back in the fridge with one swallow, Cash for Clunkers, Obamacare (not reform itself, just the name.), movie hype, writing reports, Desert heat with no A/C, Max Hardcore, World Series of Poker winners, Michael Bay, my brother drinking all my port, other people's farts (my own are awesome), wet dogs, scotch, improperly prepared cappucino, cigars, Bank of America, non kosher hotdogs, current ammunition prices, Wal-Mart, Swine flu panic, Palestine, Rosie O'Donnell, Rosie Perez, Roseanne Arnold, Rosey Grier, Roseanna by Toto and the way the Sopranos ended.