Things that are ironic/funny ever since COVID19

[Torre82]

Gmail: 4 new promotions from GameStop
"FREE SHIPPING!"
Shipping and handling doesnt make up for the total lack of expendable income, bruh.
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"I'm spending all this time inside.. I dont think I'll ever, EVER want to netflix and chill, ever again."Yeah, but just think. In 9 months how many new kids will be born? What'll we call those lil bastards?
COVIDiots? quaranTEENS? Coronials? Generation C?

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The olympics are rescheduled, and tracks arer widened 4x and runners have mandatory distancing or they get disqualified.

Conspiracy theory: Managers at jobs who have employess RIGHT across the street are so conflicted because they want to go over to your house, knock and say I KNOW YOURE IN THERE! COME TO WORK! but.. they cant, cuz reasons.
Also Jehovah's witnesses. But there really isnt anything funny about those annoying bastards. Screw those guys. lol

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People: I dont need any of this, I can deal.
People, 14 days later: I had absolutely no idea how much I needed:
Non Essential services
Bars
Overpriced, unhealthy food, made in 30 minutes, served by a guy who doesnt refill my drinks
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Hypochondriacs, conspiracy theorists and people who knew about this back in 2019: SEE! I TOLD YOU!
Also them: I have noone to drunkenly mumble this to, in my local bars or restaurants. This sucks.

 

[Rane1071]

I think it's ironic how the air (and water quality) has improved dramatically since everyone's been sent to their room. Some of those smog cities in Asia haven't had their air so good for a long time.

I think it's funny how animals are having a ball with lrss humans around mucking up the place.

I also find it amusing that my general distaste for social gatherings/ interactions now has a legitimate reason to decline said interactions/gatherings.

Silver linings yo.

 

[Torre82]

Indeed.
I'm hoping more people begin to see, through this event, that things can be changed.
They already are, after all.
But its not impossible to have a living wage, to change how we go about our work, how we should futureproof the world against these things.

I keep hearing the avoidance, from he who is orange.
"Who could've foreseen this happening?!"
I think that the infectious diseases guys have been foreseeing and trying to mitigate this. For their whole adult lives.

 

[maildude]

I agree. And something else: why is there a run on sandwich buns at the store? I can understand TP, cleaning supplies, medical stuff, etc. But buns? 🤷‍♂️

 

[Torre82]

At my local joint, and I'm super happy about this.. the normally mega expensive stuff is now sold 'at-price'. So the loaf of raisin 12 grain that was 8$ 2 months ago is now 2.25.
I love sweet bread. The peach, the hawaiian, the raisin.. AND YOU MADE IT A 12 GRAIN?! Hell yeah. ITs always in, and I usually lay my head down in the ghetto.. so while the ramen and meat/butcher section is cleared out, all the fufu shit I love but could never afford is suddenly normal price.
Of course I dont expect this to last. They'll start super-orders on bunny bread that sells for 70cents, methinks.
/OMFGBleachedBreadHasNoNutritionalValueOfCourseItsCheap

You know, historically.. expensive food will be cheap before phased out, all food will be super pricey, tech like TVs and laptops will be incredi-cheap in a few months.. so on the bright side, wont it be nice to have a great laptop but not be able to afford the power&light bill? Fail.wav

So.. more to the point.. DIDJA BUY DEM BUNS?

 

[maildude]

Take a look on Amazon. Some profiteering pirate assholes are selling their paper towels for $100 per 6-roll package. They're getting around Amazon's defenses by labeling the sale as "Collectible." *WARNING* DO NOT give these buttsex bandits any of your money.

 

[Torre82]

Covid jokes:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BE LIKE DARTH VADER
~Doesnt visit his family
~Wears a mask
~Follows orders
~Practiced social distancing before it was cool
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I just realized we're actually on on vacation in vegas. No, really.. check this out:
We gamble every time we leave our room. We lose money every moment. Drinking the booze is perfectly acceptable at any time, now. Nobody knows what time it is. Whatever happens in quarantine, stays in quarantine.

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Kevin McAllister (Home Alone):


I don't want to work with COVID19..
They'll get me sick. I know it.
We'll put them somewhere else.
I'm sorry.
It's too late. Get inside.
Everyone in this country hates me!
Then ask Trump for a new family.
I don't want a new family. I don't
want any family. Families suck!
Stay up there. I don't want
to see you again tonight.
I don't want to see you
for the rest of my life.
I don't want to see
anybody else either.
I hope you don't mean that.
You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up
and didn't have a family.
No, I wouldn't.
Then say it again.
Maybe it'll happen.
I hope I never see any
of you jerks again!
I wish they would all just disappear.
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Everybody is complaining about staying inside, government telling them what to do, not having any money, cant pay bills, cant get unemployment OR EVEN SIGN THE FUCK UP at the website, police looking at you when you go outside.
Relax, you've only been black for a month.

 

[Supafly]

I agree. And something else: why is there a run on sandwich buns at the store? I can understand TP, cleaning supplies, medical stuff, etc. But buns? 🤷‍♂️

My Anaconda don't
My Anaconda don't
My Anaconda don't want none
Unless You got Buns, Hun

(Makes total sense. Just bought buns this morning. Guilty in the First.)

 

[Torre82]

*just glares at this* r u fkn srs

 

[Rane1071]

Flights are grounded. Fewer trains are running. Rush hour is gone. The world - particularly in cities - is looking drastically different during the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.
According to seismologists, that drastic reduction in human hustle and bustle is causing the Earth to move substantially less. The planet is 'standing still'.

https://www.physics-astronomy.org/2020/04/earth-is-vibrating-substantially-less.html

Take a look on Amazon. Some profiteering pirate assholes are selling their paper towels for $100 per 6-roll package. They're getting around Amazon's defenses by labeling the sale as "Collectible." *WARNING* DO NOT give these buttsex bandits any of your money.

I still don't get the toilet paper madness/ rush thing. Although for a meme junkie like me there were some beauts' going around. One of my favourite's is the T-Rex with a shopping trolley full of TP running away just before the asteroid hit.

Good shit.
(no pun intended)

 

[Rane1071]

My Precious ...

 

[Rane1071]

 

[Torre82]

You know what sucks? Not enjoying time off, like this.
Cuz you know.. in the future, the weekend will roll around and we've got normal jobs again. (lets say a year or two)
And you hit that weekend like OMFG finally. And then you look over at that series that you STILL havent watched. Or the game you havent even opened, yet. The things you couldve done... back during quarantine.
#ProcrastinationIsReal
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When you get to youtube and your feed is ATE THE FUCK UP with everybody doing projects, podcasts, interviews, facetime..
and you've noticed over the last month that the hair is getting wilder, the depression is setting in on every face, the revolution already began and people are unionizing and striking.. but it doesnt mean anything, yet. So I guess I could catch up on my fapping and shitposting. #DoingMyCivicDuty
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*starts writing my memoirs*
"Strategic ways to find comfort whlle laying or sitting on your bed for weeks, at a time."

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I'm very sad that I had to postpone my wedding to Sarah Silverman, over this. We've been facetiming, but her phone camera is broken cuz I just see her avatar. In various poses. Many of them nude.
We actually really dont say much. Well she doesnt.
..............*sigh* *slow eye blink* whatever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me, 3 months ago: This game is bullshit. Who has the time for this? Contrived, stupid and difficult.
Me, 3 minutes ago: I reached level 15 and I'm really enjoying this. Time to check FreeOnes, Reddit, the news, gmail, OSNews, gamefaqs, fit girl, youtube, yify, TV Guide, ebony-beauty.com, the restroom, have a snack and maybe check my downloads.
Me, 3 minutes later: Alright, nothing new. Fuck.
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[D-rock]

I think it's ironic how the air (and water quality) has improved dramatically since everyone's been sent to their room. Some of those smog cities in Asia haven't had their air so good for a long time.

I think it's funny how animals are having a ball with lrss humans around mucking up the place.

It makes you wonder if humans are the real most destructive virus the world has seen. Maybe Agent Smith from the Matrix had some points that were at least a little bit legit.

 

[Pornfan99]

"Maybe Agent Smith from the Matrix had some points that were at least a little bit legit."
^
You can also make the case for the Avenger's Thanos, and how our race is overpopulating the planet. Would coronavirus have happened in that wet market, if population was at a level where people didn't have to even have wet markets?

 

[Rane1071]

It makes you wonder if humans are the real most destructive virus the world has seen. Maybe Agent Smith from the Matrix had some points that were at least a little bit legit.

It certainly does. I always take comfort from the fact that the old Earth would bounce back if we weren't around. Shrug off 'the Human infection' and it'd tick along without us.

 

[Supafly]

Just look at the situation like this:

For literally decades, people were saying, earth is getting too small the way humanity is using its resources.

So, hey, 30 percent (Just a random number I picked atm) die, that really does the carbon foodprint etc. a hella good.

Mayxbe people will think twice about how we treat animals and other nature after we got thru. And now go and play through Fallout and some Total War Campaigns

 

[D-rock]

"Maybe Agent Smith from the Matrix had some points that were at least a little bit legit."
^
You can also make the case for the Avenger's Thanos, and how our race is overpopulating the planet. Would coronavirus have happened in that wet market, if population was at a level where people didn't have to even have wet markets?

It's not so much a matter of resources...yet. There is more that enough food in the world to feed everybody. The world in general could also do a lot better at getting everybody a decent education, health care, and standard of living than it does if most people really wanted to. In each of those cases it's more that people as a general rule are selfish to the point they will literally slowly kill both the Earth or humanity because they just can't handle the thought of sharing. People want sacrifices for things to be better they just don't want to be the ones that have to do it. They will put money or just plain convenience over their neighbors, their countrymen, everybody on the world, and even life itself just for a mere chance to get rich, even if common sense should dictate they probably never will and it's stupid to put there lot in with people that abuse their lust for more to subjugate them like businesses and the rich do now.

I would feel better if it really was lack of resources that was humanities main problem. It's not. It's lack of will. It's something that could actually be fixed but won't, and that makes it worse.

As a side note as something I have always wondered about that movie, like with some people with this virus Thanos also just didn't understand the concept of exponential growth, and how that works. Look back at how long ago the world only had half as many people as today (about the early to mid 1970s) especially compared to the timeline of human history. It's not that far back at all. He essentially screwed things up to fix things as he saw them for a very short time.

 

[Rane1071]

 

[Torre82]

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