DrakeM
is drinking synthehol in Ten Forward
Picard: The Borg cube is eight minutes behind us and gaining (25 minutes screen time less one commercial break). We've got to stop them before they reach Earth. Suggestions?
Data: I could try rearranging all the ice cubes in the ice cube trays as rapidly as possible. The resulting hypersonic shockwave could temporarily drop them out of warp, and provide a lot of crushed ice for Ten Forward.
Picard:
icardfacepalm: Any other suggestions?
Dr. Crusher: I could try to synthesize a neuro toxin out of hydrohexaflockameniostatopic compound and oregano. If we could flood the Borg cube's airways with it, they may all sneeze simultaneously giving us the advantage we need.
Picard: Best I've heard so far, proceed.
Worf: Captain, I suggest I lead an away team to attack as many Borg as possible. It will likely be a suicide mission but...
Picard: Excellent idea Worf, but go yourself. Proceed immediately.
Worf: Yes Captain, it is a good day to die!
Picard: Agreed, just go.
Troi: Captain, I'm reluctant to suggest this but if it saves Earth...
Picard: Anything Troi, what is it?
Troi: Well, we Betazoids have been known to emit very strong emotional signals when strongly emotionally aroused. They could be amplified using the ship's deflector and confuse the Borg. It think it is worth the risk.
Picard: How would this work?
Troi: Captain, the best way would be for me to be with as many men as possible as quickly as possible. I mean sex.
Riker: Are you suggesting a gang bang? Captain, I volunteer to do my part, to save Earth!
Picard: No, I need you here. Troi, quickly go to Ten Forward and have Guinan organize it, I may be by later... Number One, any other suggestions?
Riker: I could pilot a shuttle that we push with the tractor beam, it might get us through their shields.
Picard: I don't think the tractor beam is strong enough to push the shuttle and your enormous ego.
Riker: That's exactly what I'm counting on sir, they won't expect it.
Picard: Okay, give it a try, report to shuttle bay 2. Anybody else?
La Forge: Captain, I think the best chance we have is to run the main power coupling on deck eight directly into your asshole. That might dislodge the giant pickle you have up there. If we could combine that with a photon torpedo, the Borg ship would not stand a chance.
Picard: Good thinking everyone, let's hold off on that pickle idea for now. Let's get to work. Wesley, please stop masturbating and contact Starfleet, FreeOnes section, see if they have any suggestions. Bring them to me in my ready room.
Wesley: Uhhh, mmmm, ahhhhh!
Okay sure thing Captain. The guys at FreeOnes won't let us down.
Data: I could try rearranging all the ice cubes in the ice cube trays as rapidly as possible. The resulting hypersonic shockwave could temporarily drop them out of warp, and provide a lot of crushed ice for Ten Forward.
Picard:
icardfacepalm: Any other suggestions?Dr. Crusher: I could try to synthesize a neuro toxin out of hydrohexaflockameniostatopic compound and oregano. If we could flood the Borg cube's airways with it, they may all sneeze simultaneously giving us the advantage we need.
Picard: Best I've heard so far, proceed.
Worf: Captain, I suggest I lead an away team to attack as many Borg as possible. It will likely be a suicide mission but...
Picard: Excellent idea Worf, but go yourself. Proceed immediately.
Worf: Yes Captain, it is a good day to die!
Picard: Agreed, just go.
Troi: Captain, I'm reluctant to suggest this but if it saves Earth...
Picard: Anything Troi, what is it?
Troi: Well, we Betazoids have been known to emit very strong emotional signals when strongly emotionally aroused. They could be amplified using the ship's deflector and confuse the Borg. It think it is worth the risk.
Picard: How would this work?
Troi: Captain, the best way would be for me to be with as many men as possible as quickly as possible. I mean sex.
Riker: Are you suggesting a gang bang? Captain, I volunteer to do my part, to save Earth!
Picard: No, I need you here. Troi, quickly go to Ten Forward and have Guinan organize it, I may be by later... Number One, any other suggestions?
Riker: I could pilot a shuttle that we push with the tractor beam, it might get us through their shields.
Picard: I don't think the tractor beam is strong enough to push the shuttle and your enormous ego.
Riker: That's exactly what I'm counting on sir, they won't expect it.
Picard: Okay, give it a try, report to shuttle bay 2. Anybody else?
La Forge: Captain, I think the best chance we have is to run the main power coupling on deck eight directly into your asshole. That might dislodge the giant pickle you have up there. If we could combine that with a photon torpedo, the Borg ship would not stand a chance.
Picard: Good thinking everyone, let's hold off on that pickle idea for now. Let's get to work. Wesley, please stop masturbating and contact Starfleet, FreeOnes section, see if they have any suggestions. Bring them to me in my ready room.
Wesley: Uhhh, mmmm, ahhhhh!
Okay sure thing Captain. The guys at FreeOnes won't let us down.
