Their Wish Is Our Command

Will E Worm

Conspiracy...
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The Ten Choicest Stocking Stuffers
1. Cash and kumquats.
2. Mini bottles of hard ******.
3. ********* splits.
4. Tickets! Rangers tix, concert tix, theater tix, etc.
5. Pez dispensers.
6. An engagement ring.
7. Fancy mechanical pencils.
8. Fancy tea.
9. A chocolate orange and a lotto ticket.
10. One hundred guitar picks.


1 Person Wanted a Televised Apology from George W. Bush
13 People Wanted to Learn
They asked for classes in: modeling, Spanish, dance, surfing, cooking, tap-dancing, kayaking, photography, computers, Web design, driving, yoga, Pilates, printmaking, sculpture, and painting.
47 People Asked for Money

The Top Eight Equine-Related Requests
1. “A *****.”
2. “A pony.”
3. “A cute mini- *****, like from the ‘Mini-***** Madness’ episode of [TV show] Rob & Big.”
4. “Pony-riding equipment.”
5. “A pony-riding outfit.”
6. “A Great Dane named Pony.”
7. “Dr. Dre’s headphones, paint, underpants, and a pony.”
8. “Un caballo de pura raza española.”

The Sky’s The Limit Pick
“A rich, sweet husband who’s normal.”
—Baranaca Olivio, 42, registered nurse

Good luck with that request. :1orglaugh :tongue:
 

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