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The worst heavy metal songs

The Penis Mightier

Kameltoe Harris = Poop
Hey, that's cool you know Kevin Sullivan. That's my favorite pro wrestler of all time. I don't follow WWE these days. Kevin Sullivan was awesome, practicing black magic(k)(okay, I know that wasn't,just sayin'). He had the perfect mix of scientific wrestling and brawling. He would throw fire balls at people and shit. His valet woman was sexy as hell. I saw her live in reading when she was with Shane Douglas in the ECW. I blew her a kiss and then she put up her fingers to make fun of my penis size. Sorry. I know that was off topic.

Living in California I had to read the magazines to find out what was going on in Florida. Sullivan is one of my favorites too. Army Of Darkness. You know Fallen Angel was Nancy Benoit, right?

You'll like this for sure.



http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Kevin+Sullivan&sm=12
 
This beats everything hands down.


Perhaps you just don't get it. And that's cool. I'm certainly not saying it's one of the best songs. The thing is, this idea comes from the hardcore punk movement. I like that shit just as much as I do metal. Both genres have pushed the boundaries to make Hard Rock more heavy and aggressive. Punk Rock has always been known for having short and fast songs. I just think it's great that bands would break those rules, whether it a Progressive Rock band with a 20 minute song or a Grindcore band with 20 second song. The song should just be over when it's over. If it were my band, I would lean more towards longer songs.
 

The Penis Mightier

Kameltoe Harris = Poop
Perhaps you just don't get it. And that's cool. I'm certainly not saying it's one of the best songs. The thing is, this idea comes from the hardcore punk movement. I like that shit just as much as I do metal. Both genres have pushed the boundaries to make Hard Rock more heavy and aggressive. Punk Rock has always been known for having short and fast songs. I just think it's great that bands would break those rules, whether it a Progressive Rock band with a 20 minute song or a Grindcore band with 20 second song. The song should just be over when it's over. If it were my band, I would lean more towards longer songs.

I like Grindcore too. It's nutty.



 
Somebody here mentioned sludge. I love this band Esoteric. There's two of them. This one's from the UK. There really spacey. I like Khanate too. I don't own one of their albums but my friend played em' for me. I like that they're so slow to point that it's like Dark Ambient music. The Melvins, Eyehategod, Winters, good shit.

I think one of the worst metal songs ever is Enter Sandman. And Nu Metal, Screamo. I agree that Hair Metal is not metal. I don't care what anyone says though. To me Ratt is metal. I mean they have those Pop elements but they have enough metal riffs that I think they could pass for metal. WASP is definitely metal and they get lumped into that genre. I think Motley Crue's old stuff is metal. Good stuff. I also love those sleazy bar rockin' bands like Guns N' Roses and Skid Row, Quiet Riot, Krokus, King Kobra, Highway Chile, etc.

I agree that Metallica is overrated but I would put Kill Em' All up against just about anything.
 
I'll confess to not having heard all of Kill 'em All, but I can't imagine it holding a candle to Seasons in the Abyss.
 
Does anyone here listen to any Stoner/Doom/Sludge Metal? Stuff like Sleep, High on Fire, Mastodon, Baroness, Yob, Elder, Mountain Witch, Alunah, etc?

Mastodon are possibly my fav metal band, but I don't know what I'd call them. They don't seem to fit any one metal genre to me, which is I why I love them. I've heard of most of those others but I don't think I've heard their music...

Sure.

Sludge: Crowbar, EyeHateGod, Corrosion Of Conformity
Doom: Candlemass, Krux, Solitude Aeturnus, Electric Wizard, Cathedral
Stoner: Bongzilla

Corrosion Of Conformity's Blind and In The Arms Of God are great albums, amongst my favourites. Cathedral's Carnival Bizarre and The Ethereal Mirror are really good too. I've been meaning to try to check Candlemass out, as they pretty much created the Doom genre.

Down are somewhere in the Stoner/Sludge genres. Pepper Keenan has come up with some great riffs over the years, both in Down and C.O.C.

I was trying to see who else was in those genres and came across this. www.metalstorm.net/bands/albums_top.php?album_style=Sludge
Any top list can be taken with a pinch of salt but overall, besides the order, it seems to give an decent indication of whats worth checking out if anyone is interested.
 
I agree with what you said about Mastodon for sure. They're one of my absoute favorites, and the band that really bridged the gap between my punk rock days and my metal ones. I recommend you check out both High on Fire and Baroness, as they represent Mastodon taken in two different directions IMO.

High on fire are like a heavier, more pummeling Mastodon. They're still their own band with their own sound by all means, but they're definitely similar bands. In fact, the members of Mastodon all met at a HoF show that was being played in a friend's basement and are good friends with HoF. Plus Matt Pike is probably my favorite metal guitarist.

Baroness is like mastodon if they went in the opposite direction - somewhat cleaner guitars and vox with proggy-er direction. Plus their guitarist/vocalist is an amazing artist who's done album art on every one of their records, as well as for bands like SkeletonWitch and Kvelertak.

And check out Kylesa while you're at it.
 
I agree with what you said about Mastodon for sure. They're one of my absoute favorites, and the band that really bridged the gap between my punk rock days and my metal ones. I recommend you check out both High on Fire and Baroness, as they represent Mastodon taken in two different directions IMO.

High on fire are like a heavier, more pummeling Mastodon. They're still their own band with their own sound by all means, but they're definitely similar bands. In fact, the members of Mastodon all met at a HoF show that was being played in a friend's basement and are good friends with HoF. Plus Matt Pike is probably my favorite metal guitarist.

Baroness is like mastodon if they went in the opposite direction - somewhat cleaner guitars and vox with proggy-er direction. Plus their guitarist/vocalist is an amazing artist who's done album art on every one of their records, as well as for bands like SkeletonWitch and Kvelertak.

And check out Kylesa while you're at it.

I checked out Baroness, their Yellow and Green album. Definitely hear what you say about them, probably lean a bit more toward rock than metal but that suits me fine. There touring here for the Soundwave Festival, also Mastodon so hopefully they do a sideshow together, I'd definitely go to see that. I'll have to check out the others next, thanks man.
 
Glad you liked them, I'd say that "Blue Record" is my favorite album of theirs. They definitely lean a little more toward the rock side of things, but like I said before, metal is huge, and it's lines are blurred. To call them just a rock band doesn't do them justice IMO. That conjures images of crappy alternative radio bands for me, and they're certainly a far cry from that. You should definitely check out High on Fire too, if you haven't already. "Blessed Black Wings" is a great album to start with, as it's in the middle of their catalogue. Their earlier records were bit more stoner-y, and their newer record lean towards the more traditional metal enof the spectrum. All of them are great.
 
I'd have to say that any slow song by any "metal" band where a majority of the members have long hair. It'd be like Michael Bolton doing a metal song. It just ain't right
 
Define 'slow song'... If you're talking about the power ballads by all the hair-metal bands in the 80's that oozed cheese, then yes. Those songs were all awful.
 
Slow songs? Try Sleep's epic, hour+ "Dopesmoker". Their record company absolutely hated it. I can't actually post vids because I'm on the mobile site, but here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIw7oeZKpZc

Apparently the blew their budget on weed and and vintage gear they'd always wanted, so the said 'fuck it, lets just write an album that's one hour-long song'
 
Holy shit, Type O's one of my favorite bands, I'm glad someone brought them up. The great thing about them is that their songs are usually like 10 minutes long, but they transfer parts so perfectly that each song feels like 2 or 3 different songs.
 
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