The coolest thing I've seen all day, April 13th edition

Mr. Daystar

In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
I think I would've just landed it, so the eagle wouldn't have a Chance to fuck it up.
 
"Is there something wrong?"
"Yes ma'am, the data on the eagle is inaccurate."
"How's that?"
"Well, I just happened to see an eagle do a 4g negative dive."
"Where did you see this?"
"Uh, that's classified."
"It's what?"
"It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
 
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Sands3

Closed Account
"Is there something wrong?"
"Yes ma'am, the data on the eagle is inaccurate."
"How's that?"
"Well, I just happened to see an eagle do a 4g negative dive."
"Where did you see this?"
"Uh, that's classified."
"It's what?"
"It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

you could be my wingman any time.
 
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