The bible explained by /b/

[question]

The Bible over political correctness. :hatsoff:

A true bigot is someone who says they are tolerant and then bashes other people.
I'm not tolerant of sodomites, murderers, communists, socialists, atheists, Freemason, and so on.

WOW!! That's a nice list of hate.
Can we have a list of the people you like? :shy:

 

[Ace Bandage]

Your right I don't know you. But Here is something that I want you to know about me. I am a researcher first and foremost. I have read that women that are Lesbian were molested in there childhood.

Sorry, you lost me there. I find it extremely hard to believe that you're a researcher considering that you don't know the correct forms of "their" or "you're" - something every child has mastered by middle school. If you're getting paid to be a researcher, somebody is pissing their money away. :hatsoff:

 

[Will E Worm]

Is it just me or is there something almost, I dont know, sacreligious about qutoing Bible verses on a pornography board??
I mean if God, Allah, Jesus or whomever the fuck it is you believe in, knew that his (or her:dunno faith is in question in the same section where there are topics like "Have You Ever Tasted Your Own Cum?" or "I'm Losing My Virginity To a Call Girl!", he or she would be spinning in their graves....or in the sky??

Just sayin....:angels:

The Pharisees and Jews accused and attacked Jesus.

Jesus rebuked them both.

Matthew 11:19 (KJV)
The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified of her children.

Matthew 23:7-10 (KJV)
7: And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.
8: But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.
9: And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.
10: Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ.

Matthew 23:31-34 (KJV)
31: Wherefore ye be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the children of them which killed the prophets.
32: Fill ye up then the measure of your fathers.
33: Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
34: Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city:

I'm sure you can't see how woefully ignorant it is to provide "proof" of a book from the book itself, but I'm sure others will. Is this how easy it is fool you? As long as a book says it's inspired by God, you believe it is?

1 Corinthians 1:18 (KJV)
For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.

Psalms 14:1 (KJV)
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.


Douglas Adams is dead and he died at age 49.

2 Timothy 3:7-9 (KJV)
7: Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8: Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
9: But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.

Luke 12:18-21 (KJV)
18: And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.
19: And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.
20: But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
21: So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

Matthew 10:28 (KJV)
And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Luke 12:5 (KJV)
But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

 

[Lust]

holy shit i just got critted for 10k damage by mythical babble wall of text blunt instrument, is there a pally around to throw some flash heals my way? maybe a druid for a HoT??

 

[STDiva]

holy shit i just got critted for 10k damage by mythical babble wall of text blunt instrument, is there a pally around to throw some flash heals my way? maybe a druid for a HoT??

I have a couple stimpacks you could use.

 

[Lust]

I have a couple stimpacks you could use.

mythical gods dream of having a fraction of your benevolence, darth diva. long live your generosity, sir!

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

This thread ensures us all a nice, cozy place in Hell. Will E's will be in the chair to the right of Satan.

 

[Boothbabe]

Your parents should have given you a foundation not letting you find out for yourself.

Thank you for proving my point. By not giving me a foundation they allowed me to find out for myself who and what I am instead of who and what they expected me to be. Thus i naturally evolved into what I am, a lesbian.

And I don't hate you, I feel sorry for you.

 

[Rattrap]

I'm sure you can't see how woefully ignorant it is to provide "proof" of a book from the book itself, but I'm sure others will. Is this how easy it is fool you? As long as a book says it's inspired by God, you believe it is?

1 Corinthians 1:18 (KJV)
For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.

Psalms 14:1 (KJV)
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

...and you've proven my point.

Douglas Adams is dead and he died at age 49.

The world is a lesser place without him.

 

[Namreg]

Thank you for proving my point. By not giving me a foundation they allowed me to find out for myself who and what I am instead of who and what they expected me to be. Thus i naturally evolved into what I am, a lesbian.

And I don't hate you, I feel sorry for you.

that's all very true, BB; but i can only feel sorry for people that i care about. everyone else can fuck off. :thefinger

 

[JayJohn85]

holy shit i just got critted for 10k damage by mythical babble wall of text blunt instrument, is there a pally around to throw some flash heals my way? maybe a druid for a HoT??

For all the wow hatin your well informed

I aint got the power....CAN I GET A FUCKING INNERVATE HERE!!!!

 

[dogbone27]

Simple lack of thanksgiving. That is for men and women who are gay ( that is in the bible not from men.) Do you hate me cause I speak the truth? Or do you hate me for other reasons?

Dude, i don't hate you and never will. I just do not agree with what you're speaking out your mouth. Do some more research before you open it again.

 

[JayJohn85]

^Also they may need to read I can quote Will E from this thread using scripture to counter point me which doesnt actually say anything to do with the point LMFAO.

Two trailer park girls go round outside, Round the outside, Round the outside
Guess whos back
Will E's back
Guess Whos back
Guess whos back
Circular logic's back!

 

[lurkingdirk]

Which ones of these should we ignore?


The Old Testament of the Bible also says:
Shellfish shall not me eaten. Doing so is an abomination. (Leviticus 11:9-12) & (Deuteronomy 14: 9-10)

Don’t eat bacon, ham or sausage. Also don’t play football. (Leviticus 11:7-8)
Don't let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle (Leviticus 19:19)

Don't have a variety of crops on the same field. (Leviticus 19:19)

Don't wear clothes made of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19)

Don't cut your hair nor shave. (Leviticus 19:27)

Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed. (Leviticus 20:9)

If a man cheats on his wife, or vise versa, both the man and the woman must die. (Leviticus 20:10).

If a man sleeps with his father's wife... both him and his father's wife is to be put to death. (Leviticus 20:11)

If a man sleeps with his wife and her mother they are all to be burnt to death. (Leviticus 20:14)

If a man has sex with a woman on her period, they are both to be "cut off from their people" (Leviticus 20:18)

Psychics, wizards, and so on are to be stoned to death. (Leviticus 20:27)
If a priest's daughter is a whore, she is to be burnt at the stake. (Leviticus 21:9)

People who have flat noses, or is blind or lame, cannot go to an altar of God (Leviticus 21:17-18)

Anyone who curses or blasphemes God, should be stoned to death by the community. (Leviticus 24:14-16)

Anyone who dreams or prophesizes anything that is against God, or anyone who tries to turn you from God, is to be put to death. (Deuteronomy 13:5)

If anyone, even your own family suggests worshipping another God, kill them. (Deuteronomy 13:6-10)

If you find out a city worships a different god, destroy the city and kill all of it's inhabitants... even the animals. (Deuteronomy 13:12-15)

Kill anyone with a different religion. (Deuteronomy 17:2-7)

The problem sir, is that you are choosing to ignore many passages of the Old Testament and choosing to enforce others that fit you misguided and hate inspired political views.

You call yourself a Christian, but find me any example of Jesus damning gays and lesbians.

Wonder if you'd care to address this one, Will? Preferably with a response that includes a bit of depth and no emoticons?

 

[STDiva]

^Also they may need to read I can quote Will E from this thread using scripture to counter point me which doesnt actually say anything to do with the point LMFAO.

Two trailer park girls go round outside, Round the outside, Round the outside
Guess whos back
Will E's back
Guess Whos back
Guess whos back
Circular logic's back!

ahahahaha:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

 

[habo9]

Wonder if you'd care to address this one, Will? Preferably with a response that includes a bit of depth and no emoticons?

Good call , I 2nd that :hatsoff:

 

[Fetishnation]

Old Testament God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her Apple or GTFO (cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then she and her fuck buddy Adam get banned form Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious f*cking incest occurs and we get the human race (wich explains a lot, really).

Then later God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwing the Jews so he gives Mozes some cheat codes for the universe. Mozes stages a mass slave runaway and he opens the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him drowing the ancient Nazi's. God lol'd.

Some other less important stuff happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.

New Testament God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave him more cheat codes than he gave Mozes, plus the rcon password for life and some CP.

Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school Jews hard. The got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had God mode turned on though so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server and laughed at the Jews.

After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never f*cking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.

The End.

Haha! One of the funniest things I've read in a while. And the lesbian stuff in your siggy totally enhances the message.

 

[Ace Bandage]

Haha! One of the funniest things I've read in a while. And the lesbian stuff in your siggy totally enhances the message.

You're about four weeks late for the prom, but thanks for sharing. :hatsoff:

 

[Fetishnation]

You're about four weeks late for the prom, but thanks for sharing. :hatsoff:

A) Better late than never.

B) No problemo

 

[Jack Davenport]

Is it just me or is there something almost, I dont know, sacreligious about qutoing Bible verses on a pornography board??
I mean if God, Allah, Jesus or whomever the fuck it is you believe in, knew that his (or her:dunno faith is in question in the same section where there are topics like "Have You Ever Tasted Your Own Cum?" or "I'm Losing My Virginity To a Call Girl!", he or she would be spinning in their graves....or in the sky??

Just sayin....:angels:

Will E. I like you but I have to agree with this post.

I believe in God and the Bible and will defend both when I feel Christianity is being bashed but I do not wear my faith on my sleeve.

That is the extent of my religious discussion on this board and I do not feel that this forum is the proper place to engage in deep relgious discussion because of the nature of this board.

Just my .02.