Dude, I can sympathize. I once had a huge erect bonery for my wrestling coach. I never thought I could ever have a "gay" experience, but when I lost a match against a guy in the AV club, my attractive and hairy mentor took me back to the locker room, and oiled we down with muscle balm before he shared his manliness with me. It was one of the most superbly fagtastic experiences of my young gay life. Later, he became the home ec teacher, and he taught me such wonderful cooking and decorating techniques, that I couldn't even tell you. Well...one day, we were adrift in our sea of volcanic homosexuality, when suddenly his bitchy wife showed up to serve him his divorce papers. Imagine her surprise to see him with me in that chocolate-filled hot tub! She hissed and snarled, and threw the papers at us, then stormed out of his fantastically themed upscale gay man's apartment. Suddenly, I felt guilty...here I was. A newly ordained queer male who had just destroyed the sanctified relationship between a man who I loved, and his previously-acquired woman. I had defiled a holy union! Well...the shame impacted me so much, that I ran crying from that exhaustingly beautiful gay domicile, only to find myself in a 24-hour church, praying for the return of my same-sex lover. Like a heterosexual angel, the priest on duty showed up at that moment, and showed me the error of my ways. Like the big, rotating brushes that sweep over your car at a drive-thru gay car wash, I realized I had been wrong: I should have passionate, ungodly premarital sex with women instead. That priest--who I am sure had never been intimate with alterboys--really changed my life. Straight people rule!!
