So here's a true story about the "intimate products," for those who care.
So I had a friend living with me for a short time. I was helping him out. This guy is hilarious. He thought it would be funny to leave me "presents" in various places. For example, just after he moved out I found a pair of handcuffs in my car glove box. Pretty funny. Then I found a purple "Junior Dong" dildo in my fridge. Oh wait, no I didn't find it. A woman visiting me for dinner found it. Hilarious. I kept it. I waited.
About six months later, this same guy was getting married. So I packed to go to the wedding, and the junior dong got packed too. Of course, at the airport, I was randomly selected for a baggage search. The baggage searching woman (had to be a woman, of course) opens my luggage, and I must have packed everything tightly, because junior springs out of the luggage and lands on the floor exactly halfway between the woman searching my luggage and me.
So we both look at it. I ask her if she'd like to pick it up, or if I should.
It was awesome.
By the way, for those who care, I sneaked the junior dong into the honeymoon luggage. I bet they used it.