Spit not swallow. Girl gets pregnant through oral sex!

[Smittmaestro]

http://standardmadness.com/offbeat/true-story-how-to-get-pregnant-via-oral-sex

We would say it’s probably the most ****** true story you’ll read today. Doctors would say it’s a case of impregnation via the proximal gastrointestinal tract in a patient with an aplastic distal vagina. May we add that this is not the usual Standard Madness attempt at being humorous, it’s a factual story and we believe that anyone who thinks medical conditions are funny is a lesser human being.
Let’s take it step by step:

Town of Mafeteng, Lesotho – a small town in the Kingdom of Lesotho, a country entirely surrounded by South Africa, where about 40% of the population live below the international poverty line of US$1.25 a day and health care is next to non-existent.

Main characters: A 15 year old girl working at the local bar, her former boyfriend, her current lover, some ****** members, cattle (yes, cattle)

The initial facts

he 15 year old bar employee was admitted to the Mafeteng Districts Hospital with a stab wound resulting from a fight between her, her current boyfriend and the jealous ex. No one said for sure who stabbed who, but what we know with certainty is that she ended up on a hospital bed with two holes in the stomach as a result of the stabbing. Having fixed the problem as best as they could, the doctors have released her from the hospital along with the two rivals in a matter of ten days, noting that at the time they performed reconstructive surgery on her stomach, there were no gastric contents worthy of attention in her abdominal cavity.
Precisely 278 days later the doctors welcomed the very same patient, the now 16 year old local bar employee, with symptoms that clearly indicated an advanced pregnancy and with the help of the medical personnel she gave birth to 2800 g healthy baby boy.
Nothing too surprising so far and the two hospital admittances are seemingly unrelated. Well, this is where it gets weird.

Medical examinations reveal unusual circumstances

One of them being maybe the fact that the patient had no vagina. The patient’s normal uterus ended in a 2 cm deep vagina and the vagina did not exist more distally. In fact, they had to perform an emergency lower segment caesarian section under spinal anaesthesia to get the baby out of her safely.
Naturally, since the doctors have clearly noted that a normal conception of a baby was physically impossible and they were circumspect to believe the religious angle, they had one woman nurse investigating the only reasonable explanation left: the accident angle, so perhaps this is the first time in history when Mommy, it was an accident I swear is a plausible excuse.

The full story (short)

The patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina and she had started oral experiments after disappointing attempts at conventional intercourse over a number of failed relationships. At the time the fight that brought her into the hospital in the first place started, she was actually offering oral pleasure to her newly found boyfriend, when she was caught in the act by her very jealous former recipient of such treatments.
The fight that lead to the stabbing started and she was brought into the hospital for the aforementioned surgery. The reason why doctors did not find any unusual content in her stomach was that those residues were actually dropped into her reproductive organs via her gastrointestinal tract and fertilized her during her very first period ever. In other words, to resort to a very visual description, her guts were pierced and she dripped sperm into her uterus.
The chances of that happening, doctors say, are infinitely small as if she wasn’t at her very first period at that time, had eaten something else, had a deficit of water, not get stabbed in the exact same spot and countless other ‘ifs’ that baby would never have been conceived.

Conclusion

The presumed ****** admitted to the paternity of his newly born baby, much of it being the fact that there were obvious appearance similarities between him and his ***. The young ******, her ******, and the likely ****** adapted themselves rapidly to the new situation and some cattle changed hands to prove there were no hard feelings, a local tradition that shows unity between two families.

-cs™

 

[FlyingWallaby]

****** nature is a MAD SCIENTIST! :eek:

 

[yaheem]

I may be old fashioned but is 15 a bit young to start sexual experimenting? Maybe I need to get with the times, but I thought the young girls were off limits.:dunno:

 

[Will E Worm]

working at the local bar

She shouldn't be working either.

 

[ArsErotika]

Ummm... I think the rules are a bit different in

Town of Mafeteng, Lesotho – a small town in the Kingdom of Lesotho, a country entirely surrounded by South Africa

 

[~~whimsy~~]

It's very rare that a girl should get pregnant by either oral or anal. It has happened, just not a every day happening.

Then again, girls at one time were unable to get pregnant at the age of ten, but it happens now. Many doctors say it could be the hormones they pump into the meats one buys in stores, and what is in our very water we *****, is the reason behind the human body beginning to go through puberty and all that in earlier stages.

http://www.livescience.com/health/070904_bad_puberty.html

 

[biomech]

That is the one of the strangest things I have read lately.

 

[georges]

strange

 

[Skyraider22]

strange

And also scary

 

[StanScratch]

I'm calling complete bullshit on this one.
The sperm never would have made it though the stomach - the acids would have eaten it up immediately. Stomach acid consists of hydrochloric acid, potassium chloride and sodium chloride. You're trying to tell me sperm can survive more than one second in that? I think not.
Sounds like another lie told to get people to be afraid of having sex.

 

[Facetious]

They're proficient 'lil swimmers, those spermies ! :nanner:

 

[YMIHERE]

This could be how the Virgin Mary got pregnant.

 

[darkwarrior3007]

I'm calling complete bullshit on this one.
The sperm never would have made it though the stomach - the acids would have eaten it up immediately. Stomach acid consists of hydrochloric acid, potassium chloride and sodium chloride. You're trying to tell me sperm can survive more than one second in that? I think not.
Sounds like another lie told to get people to be afraid of having sex.

I agree with this.

 

[habo9]

I'm calling complete bullshit on this one.
The sperm never would have made it though the stomach - the acids would have eaten it up immediately. Stomach acid consists of hydrochloric acid, potassium chloride and sodium chloride. You're trying to tell me sperm can survive more than one second in that? I think not.
Sounds like another lie told to get people to be afraid of having sex.

Iv heard of this before , its very rare but it does happen once in a blue moon

 

[ChefChiTown]

True Story: How To Get Pregnant via Oral Sex

Ok, anything that starts off with "TRUE STORY" prooooobably isn't true.

 

[Kingfisher]

How the...! What the...! Good case for the facial or pearl necklace.

 

[Will E Worm]

hormones they pump into the meats one buys in stores, and what is in our very water we *****,

A good reason for there to be rules against doing both.

But, no one in Washington cares.