Roommates who aint shit.

[Ari Dee]

When I was 18 I had the roommates from hell.

I *should have* kicked them all out by any and all means necessary.
Instead I moved out 2 months into the lease and am STILL paying for how much damage they did. (Yep, 7 years later.)

It was the most horrific living conditions I've ever seen, when I went to clean that apt after they moved out.
No matter how well guarded and prepared I was, I got THOUSANDS of flea bites that scarred me for months, had to clean up a closet full of mold, there were animal feces everywhere, the fridge & kitchen was full of thousands of dead flies & maggots.
In short, I don't know how they didn't die living in that environment. It was absolutely astounding.
It was not like that when I lived with them, but I when I did live with them, I would wake up 5 hours before them EVERY day just to clean up after their nights mess. Just ridiculous.

 

[Jack Davenport]

The only year I lived in a college dorm was the worst. It was a townhouse kind of dorm. Four bedrooms, eight guys. Our own kitchen, living room, and all that. Not one of the other guys had ever cooked a single meal. Not one had ever done a load of laundry (what the fuck is wrong with parents not preparing male children to live on their own?). Every one of them was a jock, and they were huge. Now, I'm a pretty good sized guy - 1.86 meters (6'1"), around 190 pounds, not fat. I was the smallest guy in the dorm, and I was in the arts. They decided, without reason, that I was a pussy cry baby. Every time I came in and any of them were eating, they threw whatever food they had at me. Any time they came home at night, they came in my room and punched my shoulder when I was sleeping. They didn't flush the toilets, and I'm the only person that ever did dishes in the dorm. I kept my own dishes in my room, which they found and broke into shards in my bed probably 10 times over the course of the first semester. They made it their goal in life to try to make me cry, who the hell knows why, so they'd constantly insult me, punch me, and try to feed me inedible things.

After one semester, I came back after Christmas holiday, and I had had enough. Even though I had paid for the remainder of the school year in that dorm, I had secured other lodgings. One morning, around 10 AM (while they were all still sleeping of course), I tied all their doors shut. Very well. After they were tied shut, I put 8 or 10 drywall screws through the doors into the frames. They were not going to be able to open the doors from the inside. They were trapped very effectively. I used that time to move out - if I had done it while they were around, they would have tripped me, and broken my stuff (they had smashed a computer monitor once, already).

They all finally woke up, couldn't get out of their rooms, and panicked. They were all on the second floor, they couldn't get out. I know for fact at least two of them ended up shitting in their rooms before someone came and rescued them.

For the rest of that academic year, I went to their house around 8 AM a few times a week and stole all their food out of their fridge. They never figured out who was doing it. The last week of classes that year, I actually make a stud frame, drywalled it, and one night when I knew they were all passed out drunk, I went in, and drywalled over the opening to their kitchen and main floor bathroom. I had matching paint. You couldn't tell there had ever been a doorway there.

To this day, I feel I still owe them. I lived with 7 complete douches for a semester.

Excellent. The only thing that saved you from a kidnapping charge is that you never intended to haul them away later.

 

[lurkingdirk]

Excellent. The only thing that saved you from a kidnapping charge is that you never intended to haul them away later.

Can't kidnap someone in their own rooms...

 

[Jack Davenport]

http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/PDF/ByArticle/Chapter_14/Article_10.pdf

Thank god you weren't in NC.

Felonious restraint

 

[lurkingdirk]

Pfft. If they had come at me with a suit for anything like that, I'd have counter sued for mental distress and assault, and I would have won. I have no regrets about them having to shit in their rooms because they were too hungover to figure out how to get help. I'm typically a forgiving, gentle man, but these guys were a complete waste of skin. It was amazing.

 

[Jack Davenport]

Pfft. If they had come at me with a suit for anything like that, I'd have counter sued for mental distress and assault, and I would have won. I have no regrets about them having to shit in their rooms because they were too hungover to figure out how to get help. I'm typically a forgiving, gentle man, but these guys were a complete waste of skin. It was amazing.

Don't do that shit again.

FYI

No charge

(this time)

 

[lurkingdirk]

I'm not in college any more. I'm pretty sure I've gotten to the point in my life where I'll have a lot more control over who will be living in my house.

However, if I were currently living with those shit stains, I'd do the same again. You have no idea how abusive they were.

 

[Ulysses31]

Roommates who ate shit?

 

[vodkazvictim]

The only year I lived in a college dorm was the worst. It was a townhouse kind of dorm. Four bedrooms, eight guys. Our own kitchen, living room, and all that. Not one of the other guys had ever cooked a single meal. Not one had ever done a load of laundry (what the fuck is wrong with parents not preparing male children to live on their own?). Every one of them was a jock, and they were huge. Now, I'm a pretty good sized guy - 1.86 meters (6'1"), around 190 pounds, not fat. I was the smallest guy in the dorm, and I was in the arts. They decided, without reason, that I was a pussy cry baby. Every time I came in and any of them were eating, they threw whatever food they had at me. Any time they came home at night, they came in my room and punched my shoulder when I was sleeping. They didn't flush the toilets, and I'm the only person that ever did dishes in the dorm. I kept my own dishes in my room, which they found and broke into shards in my bed probably 10 times over the course of the first semester. They made it their goal in life to try to make me cry, who the hell knows why, so they'd constantly insult me, punch me, and try to feed me inedible things.

After one semester, I came back after Christmas holiday, and I had had enough. Even though I had paid for the remainder of the school year in that dorm, I had secured other lodgings. One morning, around 10 AM (while they were all still sleeping of course), I tied all their doors shut. Very well. After they were tied shut, I put 8 or 10 drywall screws through the doors into the frames. They were not going to be able to open the doors from the inside. They were trapped very effectively. I used that time to move out - if I had done it while they were around, they would have tripped me, and broken my stuff (they had smashed a computer monitor once, already).

They all finally woke up, couldn't get out of their rooms, and panicked. They were all on the second floor, they couldn't get out. I know for fact at least two of them ended up shitting in their rooms before someone came and rescued them.

For the rest of that academic year, I went to their house around 8 AM a few times a week and stole all their food out of their fridge. They never figured out who was doing it. The last week of classes that year, I actually make a stud frame, drywalled it, and one night when I knew they were all passed out drunk, I went in, and drywalled over the opening to their kitchen and main floor bathroom. I had matching paint. You couldn't tell there had ever been a doorway there.

To this day, I feel I still owe them. I lived with 7 complete douches for a semester.

I love you, you're a fucking genius.

 

[lurkingdirk]

I love you, you're a fucking genius.

Cuddle?

 

[vodkazvictim]

Cuddle?

Snuggle.