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Quite possibly the best man I've ever known.

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Today we laid to rest one of the best men I’ve ever known. Donald T. Ruland retired as FDNY’s Chief of Department in 1995. He passed unto eternity in his sleep December 10th, 2014.

His life started humbly in Brooklyn, 1933 to a NYPD officer and his stay at home wife. All told, there were five children in the Ruland household. Donald’s father died when he was eleven and his mother when he was fifteen. Instead of splitting up to live with relatives or go into foster care, the older children did whatever honest work they could find to make money to cover rent and continue to live together.

His older brother, Jimmy and he decided that it was a pretty good idea to join the Marine Corps reserves when he was seventeen. That was 1950. Korea loomed and they were called to active duty for two years, but the rest of the family stayed together. Upon his honorable discharge I had heard he worked as a typewriter repairman for a couple years but I may have misheard that.

Service to his city was ingrained into his being and he joined the NYPD and served proudly for three years and change. But his heart told him he was meant to be a firefighter and he went through the Academy in 1957 with his brother Jimmy.

Don rose steadily through the ranks and started a family with his wife, Geraldine. Together they raised their daughter, Carol, their son, Donald J. daughter Geraldine and another son, Bobby, on Staten Island.

Donald’s son joined the FDNY in the early 1980’s, continuing the Ruland family’s tradition of service.

Donald’s wife, Geraldine, succumbed to cancer in 1993 and shortly after that he was elevated to Chief of Department. He retired September 7th, 1995.

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While in retirement he pursued many interests including active participation in his church; flying lessons; playing the guitar and harmonica; travel and fine dining; and expensive cigars.

While taking flying lessons he mistakenly emailed Christine Caligiuri about scheduling a session. She had no idea who he was because of a simple typographical error in the email address he’d used. They corresponded briefly and the correspondence blossomed into a whirlwind romance, culminating in their wedding on the beach in the Bahamas two months after they had met in 1998.

Chris had previously been married and had raised six children of her own and each of them upon meeting him, had decided that he was a great person and would treat their mother well. Which he did.

Highlights of their time together included Don playing guitar with a Bluegrass band and singing cowboy songs at her son Marty’s wedding; attending Eden II benefit galas (Don’s grandson Jeffrey is autistic); visiting various family members across the country; expanding their faith together; and just enjoying each other’s company. They eventually settled in Macungie, PA, just outside of Allentown.

Throughout their marriage Don had never been physically healthy. Skin cancer; colon cancer; lung cancer and diabetes took their toll on him but mentally, Don remained sharp and his spirituality helped him remain strong when others would have resigned themselves to their fate.

In 2010 Don had half of his left lung removed and upon awakening from the anesthetic he had a psychotic break and it was then that he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Don’s beloved brother Jimmy had also contracted the disease and he passed away February 10th, 2014. Don was unable to attend the services due to his own battle with Alzheimer’s.

During the last year of his life he was systematically denied the ability to sleep normally; eat without assistance and finally, the ability to walk or stand for even the shortest duration. There were several other infirmities and challenges associated with Alzheimer’s but I don’t want to remember him with those in mind.

One of Chris’ sons and his Belgian Malinois, Lac3y, moved in with them in order to assist them and to keep Donald from having to be moved to a nursing home. The family utilized Lehigh Valley Hospice Care and they afforded Chris and Don’s family the ability to keep him home.

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On December Eighth Don’s breathing worsened and his daughters, Carol and Geri stayed overnight at his bedside. His son Donald and his wife, Mary and son Jeffrey came and stayed by his bedside. Father Seifert from St. Stephen of Hungary Parish arrived at nine pm and administered the final sacraments. At three a.m. Chris and her son, John retired for the evening, too exhausted to continue their vigil.

At 3:30a.m. Mary called out to John and Chris and told them that they should get downstairs in a hurry. Don had stopped breathing. He didn’t die alone and his pain was finally ended.

Being a former Chief of Department, Donald was entitled to full honors and his family was treated as if they were visiting dignitaries. Don had two showings on Friday, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. In addition to his many friends and family in attendance, there were seemingly thousands of current and retired FDNY members. The ceremonial unit maintained an honor guard during the showings and their changing of the guard ritual touched Don’s family, especially Chris, with their reverence in honoring Don.

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On duty firefighters came in off their rigs and rendered salutes to a former chief. The Commissioner of the FDNY, Daniel Nigro and the current Chief of Department, James Leonard paid their respects to Don and Chris, as well.

Don was taken to St. Charles Catholic Church on Staten Island aboard a refurbished 1957 Mack truck courtesy of the Fire Family Transport Foundation. This foundation is fantastic. They help family members of firefighters get to and from ceremonies or to their hotels or just to get something to eat. Each of the vehicles has been donated and are memorials to various firefighters. Chris, for instance, was traveling in the “Lt. Johnny Nice Guy” rig, which incidentally was driven by the nephew of Johnny Nice Guy.

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The Pipe and drum corps played “Amazing Grace” while a formation of FDNY’s best and bravest rendered salutes and Don was taken into the church.

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Mass was officiated by Father Perez and his son Donald gave a moving and, at times, amusing eulogy for his father.

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Don was again placed upon the caisson while the pipers played “America the Beautiful.” Hundreds of FDNY officers and men lined Clawsson Ave and rendered salutes as he passed by on the way to Moravian Cemetary.



At the graveside service a Department Chaplain performed his duties and a Marine Honor Guard performed theirs as taps played. Don was interred next to his first wife, Geraldine.

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It was my privilege to help my Mother and Don these many months and I want there to be more to his story than just another Alzheimer’s statistic. That his was a life well lived and well loved.

So long, Donald Ruland. We hardly knew ye.

My sister questioned the wisdom of posting pictures of Donald in repose but I feel it is in keeping with the solemnity of the occasion and my Mom likes them so she can just pound sand. And I know I promised video of the pipers but my phone sucks and I don't know if the FDNY will post a video online just yet but I'll find out.
 

Supafly

Retired Mod
Bronze Member

Mr. Daystar

In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
Sorry about your step father Ace. I hope the family is doing as well as it can.
 

Rane1071

For the EMPEROR!!
I'm sorry to hear that, Johnny. He sounds like a good man.
The Firies and Cops have, and do, a thankless job. It's just a pity these good men only really get mentioned when they pass on.
My condolences.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Thank you all for the sympathy. Honestly, I don't think I can shed any more tears. I dread the day my father or my mother passes. Don, to me, treated me as if I was one of his own and not just a stepson. His son, also Donald, gave one of the best eulogies I've ever been witness to and I did put it on youtube but it's only showing up on my mobile app and I can't find it on my laptop. I'll try to re-upload it later, after there aren't five other people with computers and phones linked to our wifi.

Here are a few more photos.

This was Don's helmet. His son went out of his way to get it and specifically designated it for me, but my Mom gets it for now.


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I'll set it and his flag in a place of honor.


Part of his honor guard rendering hand salutes as he is being laid upon his caisson. I can't believe how cool that rig is. They flew the flags of the FDNY, USMC and the national colors.


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These guys have seen some shit. There were smoke eaters who have known Don since 1957. Look at that beard...LOOK AT IT! That beard could cure cancer. Or cause pregnant women to spontaneously go into labor.


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This one was taken from the "LT Johnny Nice Guy" rig and you can't see it, but the pipers are preceding the procession.


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This one gets to me. That's Donald's brother Jimmy's son taking a turn standing watch over him during the viewing.


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Thank you all for the sympathy. Honestly, I don't think I can shed any more tears. I dread the day my father or my mother passes.

Me, too but my father is starting to show signs of heading down a bad path. As much as I hate to lose them I know it is coming and I actually would be happiest if they both went together since they have been married for 50+ years and not sure either would function well without the other. Get the pain over with 1 time not 2
 

Jagger69

Three lullabies in an ancient tongue
Deepest condolences, Ace. I lost my father in October so I am keenly aware of your feelings right now. Mourning is good....it honors those who have departed and helps those who are left find a way to move on. May he rest in peace.
 
jesus this is not the kind of thing i expect to find on a site like this. im really impressed with what you said and how you said it. please accept my condolences and thanks for sharing this.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
We've been stripping wallpaper and getting the house ready for sale and my Mom stumbled across these two gems. This is my stepfather while he was in the NYPD. Jesus, what an incredible life he led.






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xfire

New Twitter/X @cxffreeman
A long distinguished life, obviously a very honorable man, I'm sure being around him made you a better man. Deep respect, condolences and sympathy.
 

BlkHawk

Closed Account
We've been stripping wallpaper and getting the house ready for sale and my Mom stumbled across these two gems. This is my stepfather while he was in the NYPD. Jesus, what an incredible life he led.




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My condolences he led a fascinating life, and certainly led it to the fullest. Do you know the back story, or year for this photo? I had a pony with very similar tack, so this one really made me smile.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Sometime between 1954 and 1957. And while he was in the 77th Precinct. That's about all I know. The rest of the story is lost to the ages.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
I would have thought the drama would have ended last month but I was wrong. My mother returned from her stepson's widow's home today nearly in tears because Donald's youngest daughter is being an asshole.

This requires some back story. Don's youngest son, Bobby, who I never met, was addicted to heroin and prescription meds. He met his wife, Kim, during one of his stints in rehab and they apparently both worked the program pretty hard together because she wound up having two kids with him. He relapsed and overdosed, about seven years ago, after Kim had kicked him out of the house, to protect their boys. She and her oldest boy, who was four at the time, discovered his body. His death affected Donald profoundly. They had him cremated and Don kept his ashes in our garage near what amounted to a shrine to his son.

Shortly after, Don amended his life insurance policy so that benefits would be paid to his surviving children and his son's widow. Don's daughter, Geri, completely lost her shit. because Kim had received a settlement from a malpractice suit, filed against Bobby's doctors. Geri feels that she received enough money and whatever Don left behind should go to his immediate family. Asshole. This has been a bone of contention to her ever since.

My mother finally took Bobby's ashes to his widow today because she felt kind of weird having them in her garage. Kim told Geri and she, Geri, felt it was incredibly disrespectful to Don's memory because he loved his son so much that his ashes should have been interred with his father. It's not like Kim was married to the guy or anything. Asshole.

Geri had always thought my mother was gold digging and never accepted my mother in the family. My mother came into their relationship with her own money and her own paid off home. Don was the one who actively pursued a relationship. Don maintained all financial obligations with his pension and his own meager properties. After his diagnosis my mother had discovered they were on the verge of losing their home because Don had been filling out checks for taxes and mortgage payments and not mailing them out. After much wrangling and negotiation, she managed to hang on to their home, but not much else because their finances had been so fractured. Geri, the asshole, already knew this but chooses to represent that as my mother being a gold digger.

I didn't help matters by moving back to help out. Geri didn't think I showed Don proper deference while caring for him. She and my commie sister in Sweden, Ellie, had been corresponding back and forth online and both came to that conclusion. Plus, I did call Geri's son a jack off that one time when I was really drunk. I don't regret it. Geri has actively been campaigning against my mother to her friends and some of my family and I really loathe that behavior.

Anyway, the deed is done and Kim will receive 30k and Geri can go pound sand.

I just needed to vent because my Mom doesn't need me ranting right now.
 

Mr. Daystar

In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
You only have one option. Take the ashes to the cunts house, knock on her door, go inside, tell her how much you respected, and loved her father, set the ashes on a table, tell her he needs to be with HIS family, tell her to NEVER, under any circumstances EVER treat your mother disrespectfully again, and if she does....they'll be sharing the urn. Tell her goodbye, tell her all contact will be severed, and then, make sure she understands not to act like a cunt, by telling her exactly that...."And try not to be a CUNT! Goodbye.".
 
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