Except for the poor people whose health care I'll start paying for soon.
Nobody in your family is poor? Or if they are, you just don't care about their well-being?
I just read that you (yeah, they actually mentioned you by name in the article) will also be paying for private breast-milk pumping rooms/areas in any and all businesses that employ women who wish to pump breast milk while at work. I'm taking a guess that you feel like this about that fact:
And I guess it's safe to assume that you're using Colbert's quote - which was probably uttered as satire - with all sincerity??
Thanks for the thorough answers, though, AR!